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Published 2019-09-22 (Image 179497)

Coffee. Black. Thatll be $48.95. What? But only because were having a Bulgarian Independence Day special. Hows $48.95 a special? Its a steal, considering the costs. I use only the finest black cephalopod ink, hand-squeezed by Gunther, the Albanian squid-wrangler. They have squids in Albania? And then theres the coffee cup. Special cup, coated with the blackest material on earth: Vantablack, stolen -- I mean sourced from UK-based Surrey Nanosystems. This might actually be worth the $48.95. The coffee brown, on the other hand, is only 85 cents.

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