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Rudy Park

Published 2020-01-19 (Image 181285)

Dear Sadie, You have such an outstanding figure. What do you do to keep in shape? - Hirsch Goldberg. *Actual reader letter. This is a highly personal and offensive question. But, I am flattered by the appreciation for my matronly figure and full bosom. And so I will let America in on the secret to my beauty. BRING OUT THE CONTRAPTION! Introducing the Sadiesizer. Armpit cooling jets. Electronic Do not use underwater. Purell sanitizer coating. Hip sequester. Rear-end coiffer. Belly extender. For sleek intimidation. Bosom fluffer. Military grade. Plus, I eat only fried ice cream and waffles. So I dont just look good, I smell sexy. send Sadie a question at asksadieshow@gmail.com

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