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Rudy Park

Published 2017-07-24 (Image 160763)

All you young people keep whining about the country being "divided." You dont know what "divided" is. Grandmother Cohen was a general in the Union army. Her sister was a Confederate general. They didnt let women fight in the Civil War. Of course not. But as luck would have it, Great Grandmother Cohen was the best fake-beard-maker in the land. Nobody ever dared ask "Stonewall Jackson" why "he" often wore his hair in a bun. The history books always leave out the best parts.

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