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Published 2020-02-16 (Image 181704)

I failed to keep my New Years resolution, minion. This will not end well. My resolution was to recognize your humanity. Wait  what was that, boss? Youre not just another cog in my machine, Rudy. Youre not like my computer, my balance sheet, my three-year-old foreign coffee bean pickers ... You have feelings. Your well being is important to me. A happy minion means happy customers, and a happy me. Do you know what I mean, minion? It means Im getting a raise? It means Im not going to call you a minion this year. Im going to come up with something less demeaning to call you ... or at least I was. But I already failed. Maybe next year, minion. Very bad man.

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