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Published 2018-02-18 (Image 167988)

When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper whod someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didnt know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre came along and he did it. Thats an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks whod bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe Id run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiter exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Yknow ... sometimes when were jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, Ive been laundering money for year - wait, this whole thing is confidential, right?

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