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Published 2017-06-11 (Image 158398)

Man,  Lemont … how longs it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internets seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. Thats cool. Thats cool. How do you not know this? Were Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you dont even read my updates? Facebooks for reading you-stuff? I thought it was just for posting me-stuff. Im sorry, man. I feel horrible. As you should ... Anyway, you still working as a roadie for Hootie and the Blowfish?

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