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Candorville

Published 2015-11-01 (Image 134209)


I was supposed to give a speech in Omaha. I spent months perfecting my Powerpoint. Dr. Noodle. When I got there, there was no monitor. No projector. Nothing. But thats ok, thats happened before. I asked if they had an easel and paper so I could draw charts on the fly. They gave me an 8.5"x11" notepad. 800 people in a huge room cant see anything on an 8.5"x11" notepad. I said "Thats ok. Ive got some funny stories." But when I got on stage, there was no microphone. Stories arent usually funny when you yell them. Is that when you knocked over the podium, got arrested, and they put you on 72-hour psych hold? No. Thats when they served cake, and I thought "I have to compete with cake? Nobody can compete with cake."

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