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Published 2014-09-14 (Image 115705)

This morning while I was having a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, I bit myself three times. Science is a total fraud, Susan. Huh? In the entire history of mankind, how many times have people bitten themselves on the inside of their cheek while they were eating? Probably more times than there are grains of sand on earth.. But when I googled it this morning, how many results showed up for the phrase "total cheek bites, average daily cheek bites per capita, and rate of correlation between cheek bites and fatal infections"? Zero. But when I googled "health benefits of peanut butter," guess how many results turned up? ... Thats right, millions. Scientists are in the pocket of big peanut. who eats peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast?

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