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Rudy Park

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-21 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-21 Pub. Date: 2019-05-21
Image Number: 177727
Caption: Rudy, you seem like someone who enjoys his free time. You've got many hobbies. Wouldn't you like some more time to pursue your personal interests? Stop. Are you reading from a management manual? A terrific solution may be to cut back your work hours. I told you to stop.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-01 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-01 Pub. Date: 2019-05-01
Image Number: 177413
Caption: You can't go around saying I look like Cory Booker just because we both have dark skin. Why not? I wouldn't say you look like Donald Trump just because you both have white skin. Trump is the other guy running for president. You look old like him.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-19 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-19 Pub. Date: 2019-04-19
Image Number: 177236
Caption: I've been working here more than seven years. I'd like to talk about retirement benefits. I'd like a long-term contract. Ha ha. I wouldn't mind a dental plan and you know what else? Profit sharing! Hee hee, ho ho, ha ha. I really did just do it for the laughs. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-24 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-24 Pub. Date: 2019-02-24
Image Number: 176214
Caption: It feels good to stop wasting water. Al Gore would be proud. And electricity - Don't forget we're saving on that. That would be used to heat the water, and light the room. We no longer encourage the manufacture of chemical-based cleansing products sold in wasteful plastic and paper packaging. Stop! Men should not rationalize their failure to shower every day on the basis that it's environmentally friendly. Oh, how you hate Mother Earth. I like inhaling without stink. My smell is organic.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-21 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-21 Pub. Date: 2019-02-21
Image Number: 176400
Caption: Would you like to donate to my campaign for health commissioner? Not ever. Your arch-conservative laissez-faire values will let companies run roughshod over consumers. The only thing you'll make healthy are corporate coffers! Quite clever, no? Whatever. I take cash or checks.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-13 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-13 Pub. Date: 2019-02-13
Image Number: 176307
Caption: I'm Herbert. Darlene. I'm busy. I noticed that. You look intense. Are you one of those people working herself to death? You're not going to have a heart attack or something? I'd just hate to witness a horrible event like that. It would be very rude of you, frankly. Not enjoying the conversation.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-12 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-12 Pub. Date: 2019-02-12
Image Number: 176306
Caption: Are you going to finish your pie? Why? You want the last bite? Not at all. I wouldn't put the gelatinous crud in my body, especially since some café worker probably sneezed on it. You have no idea what sort of ingredients they put in restaurant food. Do they even wash the insects here? I like washed insects. Extremely grossed out.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-02 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-02 Pub. Date: 2019-01-02
Image Number: 175664
Caption: First, I didn't suffer concussions when I played football. Second, I'm not a meathead. Third, how can you joke about football injuries? Joke? I feel badly for you. You're an arrested adolescent, obsessed with picking up chicks, going nowhere in your career. Obviously, that's a result of your head trauma. Your brain's taken more shots than Ansel Adams' camera. It's gotten more shots than a kid with rabies! that's not joking? Sorry, I thought it would go over your squished head.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-14 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-14 Pub. Date: 2018-10-14
Image Number: 174302
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I'm going on a raw food diet. What kind of diet do you recommend? You rock my world, girl! - John in Portland, Oregon. That's the grossest thing I've ever heard. How so? He's going to eat naked?! Maybe if he has a body like mine it would be okay, but ... stop. That's not what he means by raw. Explain, nerdy sidekick. According to Wikipedia, it's mostly a vegan diet. Wikipedia? Crowd-sourced virtual encyclopedia. I don't understand anything being said today!! Rock my world is good or bad? Opportunity here to really ruin her day. Ask Sadie (and maybe get answers) at asksadieshow@gmail.com.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-07 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-07 Pub. Date: 2018-09-07
Image Number: 173921
Caption: Yes, you sir, with a question … Do you blame Steve Jobs? Bite your tongue. Mr. Jobs, the deity, obviously did not know the iPhone software was flawed. He was duped by his own mutinous engineers! If he's a deity, wouldn't he be all-knowing and therefore aware of the software flaw? Security, remove this blasphemer! Security seconds the question.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-19 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-19 Pub. Date: 2018-07-19
Image Number: 172984
Caption: Lost for several days on a dusty road in Utah, the café gang turned savage. No feeling was spared. No truth too brutal to tell. But then … Stop … If we're going to die here, let us not be divided. Let us acknowledge the common humanity that binds us and makes us better than other losers who would perish with less dignity. A final peaceful thought. We are superior. To other creatures. And Blackberry users.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-14 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-14 Pub. Date: 2018-06-14
Image Number: 172243
Caption: Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-12 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172241
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-09 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-09 Pub. Date: 2018-06-09
Image Number: 172100
Caption: What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-04 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-04 Pub. Date: 2018-06-04
Image Number: 172095
Caption: Has it occurred to you, Rosencrantz, that we are never there? Wherever we are at any given moment is but a rest stop on a journey form where we were to where we are headed. All of existence is in motion. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if some great being would put its finger on existence and bring it to a halt. Even the great finger could not remain there forever, for the finger is always on a journey to somewhere else. I sense this thesis is about to go sideways, Tyrone.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-13 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-13 Pub. Date: 2018-05-13
Image Number: 170941
Caption: I'm sorry, we're all out of mocha. Want something else? Yes, I want you to run to Starbucks and get me a mocha. I'm … what? Sorry, I can't do that. You have to. Or I'll sue. I saw your menu from the sidewalk. I'm not following. If your menu is viewable from the sidewalk, it's considered advertising. If you advertise a product but you don't have it in stock and you don't cross it out, that's false advertising. And that's a crime. So what's it going to be? Are you going to run down to Starbucks or do you want me to bring the wrath of the entire judicial system down upon you? I'm not sure any of that is true. But I could use the fresh air. While you're there, would you be a poodle and get me a cheese danish?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-07 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-07 Pub. Date: 2018-05-07
Image Number: 171295
Caption: I read an article on Candorville.com about how we might not be the first advances civilization on earth. There's evident that mankind was far more advanced than we thought, but it was blown back into the stone age by some huge cataclysm. A lot of scientists disagree, but why else would mankind build 200 immense underground cities all around the world, if not to survive a cataclysm? I'm starting to think you just like saying the word cataclysm. I also read that we're cataclysmically overdue for another cataclysmic-level cataclysm.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-06 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-06 Pub. Date: 2018-05-06
Image Number: 170676
Caption: One peppermint shake, two straws. Oh no. We're back together again. In fact, make that just one straw. We'll share it. I don't want anything to separate us ever again. Two. What are you trying to do, sugar-puss, give me the mouth-herpes you caught form that Sheila? I told you, daffodil-bottom, that wasn't mouth-herpes, it was just a sore where I'd accidentally bitten my lip. And I would never have even been with Sheila if you hadn't just ditched me for that hobo. Biff Manly is a sailor who lives in a houseboat. He's not a hobo ... dear. Do you have any drinks that taste like the high seas? Leave me out of this! I see you've got a drink called The Sheila. We'll. Have. That.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-21 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-21 Pub. Date: 2018-04-21
Image Number: 170597
Caption: So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-15 wouldn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170066
Caption: Find me news about the Russiagate investigation. 841 news stories found. Specify date of broadcast. Today would be fine. Are you sure you would not rather see a broadcast from the future, when the results of the investigation are in? You can do that? Oh my god ... do you mean time isn't linear after all? Do you mean disembodied A.I. is free to move back and forth, like quarks can? I mean you should leave me alone until the results are in. (Sigh) fine ... Just show me anything that isn't about Russiagate. Processing ...
     
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