Hi Elmer, election day is almost here! You may remember that we helped you register to vote at a student even at University of Texas at Austin. "Elmer"? This election is the most important election someone in your community has ever faced. Now is your chance to take control for all Antarctic-Americans and really weigh in on the issues you indicated matter most to you ... such as "climate change," "wool sweater importation tariffs," and "penguin-albatross miscegenation." Can we count on you to vote, Mr. Fudd? Bruh, I ain't never been to University of Texas in Austin. Somebody done clowned you with the wrong number. But we gave you a free frisbee. An' what the @#$% I care about "penguin-albatross miscegenation"? Love is love.
Lemont? It's 3:30 in the morning. Why are you calling? You OK? Susan, ever since you told me I'm going bald I haven't been able to sleep……