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- I'd like to see
comic strips about
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Use these links to see comic strips about wins and winning
by comic strip.
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| Rudy Park |
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101. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-06-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-06-01 |
| Image Number: |
127844 |
| Caption: |
Don't be alarmed. I'm not falling for it, loser. You can't make Sadie Cohen worry about nothing just by uttering three dumb words. It's probably nothing. Those three won't work either! Nobody panic. Two words won't work either! Munch mun - |
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102. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-05-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-05-02 |
| Image Number: |
126204 |
| Caption: |
I heard you unexpectedly owe $9000 in taxes. That's awful. But look on the bright side. What bright side? Well, you probably won't be able to pay that off before next year's taxes come due … which means they'll also charge you penalties you can't afford to pay ... which means you'll be condemned to a lifetime of ever-increasing tax debt, until they seize your assets and throw you in jail. You'll finally be just like a celebrity! That is true. |
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103. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-04-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-04-06 |
| Image Number: |
125274 |
| Caption: |
Ted Cruz announced he's running for president. He's not going to win. He was the first to announce. No first-announcer has won since 1952. Besides, his name's too similar to Tom Cruise. And Tom Cruise is so not in right now. HOJ. We should have our own political show. If I an do it shirtless, I'm in. |
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104. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-04-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-04-05 |
| Image Number: |
124320 |
| Caption: |
Rudy, gas prices are rising again. I bet somehow this is bad news for me. I suppose you're wondering how that affects the café. Uh … sure. Well, did you know that a great many products are made from oil? Such as plastic? And did you know that, for a brief time, manufacturers would actually pay people to cart away all their plastic shavings? ... And did you know that it's much cheaper to cut coffee grounds with plastic shavings than to serve pure coffee? Theoretically, of course, I would never do such a thing. Anyhow, our profit margins have plummeted 0.02%, so I'll have to cut your pay. Yes! I just won a bet! |
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105. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-03-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-03-28 |
| Image Number: |
124714 |
| Caption: |
When's the last time you took a vacation, Armstrong? A what? A vacation. You know, where you put on a half-buttoned Hawaiian shirt, shades, and stubble, and head for a far-off island … where you run afoul of the local bully, challenge him to a duel, and win the respect and admiration of men, women and children, before flying off into the sunset. What? Why does everyone always pretend they've never heard of a vacation? How 'bout you take a vacation from making us all look inadequate. HOJ. |
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106. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-03-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-03-13 |
| Image Number: |
124103 |
| Caption: |
Boss, I'm one of the finalists for Mars One! I'll be going to Mars on a one-way trip. Excellent. On Mars, you'll have only the air and food you bring with you. That won't last long. To survive long-term you'll have to plant vast gardens to feed you and replenish your oxygen. You'll be toiling and slaving for no money at all. I should never tell you anything. I'll stop paying you, to help you get used to that. |
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107. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-03-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-03-10 |
| Image Number: |
124100 |
| Caption: |
Hi, this is Hillary Clinton. (Sigh) Again? You call every week. The Wall Street Journal is saying I'm a month away from announcing whether I'm running for president. I know how excited you must be, average citizen. Will I? Won't I? You're only a month away from finally knowing! House of Java.net Cybercafe ... Or maybe you're not. Are you? Aren't you? Make it stop. Press "one" or hang up to donate to what may or may not be my campaign. |
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108. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-02-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-02-22 |
| Image Number: |
122492 |
| Caption: |
Rudy Park Enterprises is proud to announce its own Sadie Cohen has been selected as most obnoxious and caustic radio host of the year. Speech, speech!!! You're too kind. Obviously, every girl dreams of getting this kind of recognition. I'm well aware it's customary to thank everyone who made this moment possible. It's true I might not have won if it weren't for the lifeless jerks and imbeciles who listen to the show and write in with their stupid email questions. But you are all beneath contempt. The only person I want to thank is Rudy Park. Your shallow and insipid existence inspires me every single day. Can I tweet that? |
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109. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-02-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-02-08 |
| Image Number: |
121926 |
| Caption: |
The Afghanistan war officially ended one month ago. The "Af-What-Istan what" did what? What? That's what I asked you. I said, the Afghanistan war ended. You know, the war we've been fighting for the last thirteen years! We've been fighting a war for the last 13 years? That's odd ... I don't know anyone who was in it. Did we win? Holy Moses. Woulda been cool if it had kept going for 101 years, then it would be a world record. You're the best argument there is for bringing back the draft. "Draft"? You mean beer? |
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110. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-01-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-01-22 |
| Image Number: |
121923 |
| Caption: |
Time moves so fast when you're older. No, it moves more slowly. No, it moves fast. You remember things that happened ten years ago as if they happened yesterday. No, it moves slowly. Every day is a tedious, endless moebius strip of boredom, punctuated only by the occasional argument. You win. This talk feels like it's going on forever. I feel like I've been winning for a million years. |
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111. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-01-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-01-13 |
| Image Number: |
121460 |
| Caption: |
Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex." |
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112. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-01-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-01-11 |
| Image Number: |
120669 |
| Caption: |
My new year's resolution is to write a best-selling novel. Did you know "50 Shades of Grey" started out as fan fiction about that vampire book "Twilight"? I just need to repeat that formula: write fan fiction about a popular book and then just change all the names when I'm done. That way, my book will appeal to that same audience and they won't even know why. Which "popular book" are you going to write fan fiction about? "50 Shades of Grey." Only I'll change the names to "Bella" and "Edward," and make them all vampires and werewolves. The literary world won't even see me coming. But they'll sure see you going. |
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113. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-01-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-01-04 |
| Image Number: |
120323 |
| Caption: |
He'll have a crumb of wheat toast. No I won't! I'll have a sausage biscuit with cheese. And he'll have a plain glass of water. No I won't! I'll have a mocha with whipped cream. And for dessert ... I'll have a hot buttered blueberry scone with pumpkin-spice frosting and peppermint sprinkles! That looks lovely! He'll have plain yogurt. If you don't eat right, you won't be around for me to berate. Give me a double donut burger! A triple would be more humane. |
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114. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-12-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-12-29 |
| Image Number: |
120912 |
| Caption: |
Hi, this is Hillary Clinton. What? Really? I haven't yet decided whether I'll run for president. Um ... Ok ... that's all right. Ok ok, I'll admit, I have decided that I am definitely, absolutely thinking about it. Will I? Won't I? House of Java.net Cybercafe. Wait for citizen to express hopeful anticipation. Oh come on. I'm being told I'm not supposed to have said that part out loud. |
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115. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-12-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-12-21 |
| Image Number: |
119729 |
| Caption: |
Are you a "Star Wars" fan, good sir? Who isn't? I would like to propose a small wager. Ask me any question about Star Wars. Any question at all … and if I answer with 100% accuracy, I will win a free coffee and scone per day, for an entire year. Interesting. And what do I get if you answer wrong? You get this laptop computer. It's fully functional, except for a slight catastrophic logic board failure. Deal. Sucker. Here's the question: what was I wearing when I saw 'Empire Strikes Back' in the theater in 1980? Huh? What was I wearing, smart guy? Underpants. Ha! Nice try, but I always wore my Underoos OVER my pants! |
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116. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-11-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-11-06 |
| Image Number: |
118566 |
| Caption: |
I don’t know, man, I think you've taken it a little too far, divvying people up like this. Nonsense. It's a delicate balance. A little depression is good for business. Stimulates the sale of comfort foods. But too much depression, and half of my patrons won't even get out of bed, let alone buy anything. What do you mean "stop"? All I said to that democrat was "nanny-nanny-boo-boo." Yes, but you're in the non-gloating section. |
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117. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-11-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-11-04 |
| Image Number: |
118564 |
| Caption: |
Are you excited the republicans are going to take back the Senate? Of course. Do you have any idea how many organic, gluten-free, non-GMO sustainable, eco-friendly cups of conflict-free hot cocoa I'm going to be selling? Not to mention the free-range turkey Panini's. Liberals eat comfort foods, too. |
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118. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-11-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-11-03 |
| Image Number: |
118563 |
| Caption: |
Election's tomorrow and the republican party seems to be trending. I guess it's countdown time again. Shall we? 10 … 9 … 8 … 7 … 6 … 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … Hey! Guess what, everyone? I'm a republican! DNC. For the next couple years, anyway. |
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119. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-10-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-10-29 |
| Image Number: |
118265 |
| Caption: |
You're on, caller. What's your problem? My baby won't stop crying. How do I get her to stop? What do you mean, "get her to stop"? Your baby's a human being and she already has things she wants to tell you. Crying is the only language she knows. Just hold her, tell her "I hear you" ... ... AND GROW A THICKER SKIN! BABY TEARS AREN'T LITTLE GRENADES, LOSER! I wish she'd just text me like everyone else. |
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120. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-10-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-10-03 |
| Image Number: |
117142 |
| Caption: |
You are not allowed to join the army, little buddy. You don’t want me getting hurt in the war? I just don’t think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business taking on terrorists. For your information, you're looking at the world lightweight champion of thumb wrestling, fourteen years running. Not at all the same thing. And my mom said playing video games would never take me anywhere. |
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