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Rudy Park

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-11 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-11 Pub. Date: 2015-07-11
Image Number: 129354
Caption: We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking news!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-26 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-26 Pub. Date: 2015-06-26
Image Number: 128756
Caption: You and I need to set a time to talk. I have a side business of network marketing which is amazing! … And I'm excited about sharing this excellent opportunity with you … my dear friend. What're you doing? You can work from home, make your own hours … and build a multi-million-dollar business working 10 hours a week. HOJ. Are you reciting some sort of script to me? Of course not. If I forward you a brief video, will you watch it?
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-11 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-11 Pub. Date: 2015-05-11
Image Number: 126887
Caption: Ask Sadie™ Dear Irresponsible Sadie: Last week you said riots are the natural response to police brutality. How dare you excuse looting and property damage and violence!!!! By excusing riots, you are contributing to the cycle of violence. You have a public platform and with that comes responsibility. You, Sadie, have A LOT to learn!!! - Disappointed in Delaware. You need to learn the difference between an EXPLANATION and an "excuse," you condescending, insufferable troglodyte! I mean ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-22 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-22 Pub. Date: 2015-03-22
Image Number: 123750
Caption: This just in: People can get used to anything. Scientists at Tonga Technical Online University have discovered that 81% of Americans become accustomed to horrendous news after being repetitively exposed to it for more than six weeks. Participants in the study were fed with regular updates on ISIS, Ukraine, missing airliners, the measles outbreaks, Bill Cosby and Brian Williams. 100% of participants were initially shocked. By week two, 95% had progressed to being appalled. By week six, a whopping 87% were either bored or had completely forgotten about the story that had outraged them just weeks earlier. Fix your attention span, America! By week 7, 0.01% had either moved to Syria, become pilots, refused to vaccinate their kids, started eating Jell-O pudding pops, or mistakenly "remembered" they were at Gettysburg.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-15 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-15 Pub. Date: 2015-03-15
Image Number: 123477
Caption: I can't wait till the Entourage movie comes out. Me an' my boys are going to see it opening day. You and your "boys"? What "boys"? You don't have any "boys." Of course I've got "boys." Every main character is surrounded by a group of friends. They may make fun of each other, they may get each other into trouble once a week. But they're always there for each other. I'm the main character in my life. Not really. "Main characters" make things happen; they don't just sit back and let things happen TO them. You're more of an extra in your life. Every time I post a selfie, I get at least 30 "likes." Would an extra get anywhere near 30 "likes"? I stand corrected. You're not an extra. You're just the cameraman.
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-10 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-10 Pub. Date: 2015-03-10
Image Number: 124100
Caption: Hi, this is Hillary Clinton. (Sigh) Again? You call every week. The Wall Street Journal is saying I'm a month away from announcing whether I'm running for president. I know how excited you must be, average citizen. Will I? Won't I? You're only a month away from finally knowing! House of Java.net Cybercafe ... Or maybe you're not. Are you? Aren't you? Make it stop. Press "one" or hang up to donate to what may or may not be my campaign.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-01 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-01 Pub. Date: 2015-03-01
Image Number: 122758
Caption: They never call, they never write … Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. They come but once a year. I worked and slaved, I diapered them … but they don't seem to care. True, it's clear I'll control their lives, if they should get too near. Grown kids are planets, on their own. But mother's still the sun. If they don't call this week, I'll go supernova on their behinds. That doesn't rhyme!
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-04 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-04 Pub. Date: 2015-02-04
Image Number: 122488
Caption: I overheard you telling Rudy it would be wrong to use Microsoft's hololens to project the faces of beautiful people onto homely people. That's right. Hypothetically speaking, how would you, as a customer, feel about a café using hololens to project a fresh, healthy glow onto week-old pastries? Hypothetically, the trick would be learning to sneaking the goggles onto the faces of unsuspecting patrons. Is that why Rudy's army-crawling toward me on the floor with a pair of glasses? Hypothetically.
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-10 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-10 Pub. Date: 2015-01-10
Image Number: 121150
Caption: Armstrong, what's "beardilizer," and why's our menu say we can add it to any coffee drink? Studies show the male hipster spends 14% more on coffee than the average patron. Studies also show that 78% of male hipsters are trying to grow huge lumberjack beards. Studies also show that a pallet of fertilizer somehow flew off of a freight train as it passed by my house last week. Very bad man. Remind me to thank whoever added that speed-bump to the train tracks by my house.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-08 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-08 Pub. Date: 2015-01-08
Image Number: 121148
Caption: Happy New Year, Randy. Same to you, little buddy. Although technically you should've told me that last week. No, I'm not talking about 2015. I mean "Happy 2016." HOJ. I like to be ahead of the curve. Ok. As long as you don't start sending my family your condolences.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-12 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-12 Pub. Date: 2014-12-12
Image Number: 120014
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm dating this girl, and she's hinting that she wants a commitment. How do I keep getting what I want without giving her what she wants? That's easy. Every time she opens her mouth to talk about it, softly touch her lips with your finger and say ... "You know what separates us from everyone else?" "We don't even need words. Everything we have to say, we can say with our eyes." How long will that routine buy me? Six weeks of bliss.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-23 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-23 Pub. Date: 2014-11-23
Image Number: 118569
Caption: I was in a riot a few weeks ago. Did you see me on TV? What're you talking about? I heard there was going to be trouble at the Pumpkin Fest in Keene, New Hampshire. So I hopped on a plane. It was tense. On one side, you had the pumpkin community. On the other side, the sweet potato advocates. That's when it all exploded. STOP! Riots are supposed to be about serious issues! Injustice! Racism! Corrupt local governments! Out-of-control police! Walgreens running out of Metamucil! There were fists, tear gas and pumpkin bits everywhere. STOP!!! Rudy, the situation was tense enough without outside agitators like you.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-18 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-18 Pub. Date: 2014-11-18
Image Number: 119143
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: the constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends Undergarments.
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-10 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-10 Pub. Date: 2014-10-10
Image Number: 117419
Caption: Rudy, how many times per day do you brush your teeth? Four, when you average it out over a week. But that's only because I don’t have my wisdom teeth. Otherwise it'd be 4.5. Wait ... are you counting each and every tooth as a separate brushing? So in other words, you brush your teeth once a week? Stop using math to make me look bad.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-27 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-27 Pub. Date: 2014-09-27
Image Number: 116834
Caption: Thanks, Emily. That was really fun. I agree. You do? Seriously? Seriously. Show some confidence. But I … He'd like to see you again next week. Hey … Sure, but by himself, no offense.
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-23 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-23 Pub. Date: 2014-08-23
Image Number: 115313
Caption: I had a very rewarding week. Weird. What? You sound almost happy, satisfied. So strange for someone with such a meaningless, dead-end existence to find amid his personal rubble a nugget of joy. Defeat snatched from the jaws of a vague sense of contentedness. It's almost enough to give me hope.
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-11 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 114987
Caption: All those broken cease-fires between the Israelis and the Palestinians take me way back. I once lived with a girl who'd break up with me once a week. We'd break up, make up, break up, make up, over and over and over again. We couldn’t live together but each of us thought we had a right to that apartment, so we fought over it for a long time. It's more complicated than that. Maybe Israel should try leaving Palestine and moving in with her sister. I don't even know what that means.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-08 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-08 Pub. Date: 2014-08-08
Image Number: 114702
Caption: What're you watching on your me-phone? "Batman v Superman" bootleg. That reminds me of the time Adam West caught me and George Reeves smooching in the woods. Adam and I had been over for weeks, but he was still insanely jealous. Adam who and George what? They should outlaw anyone under 40. Anyone seen any woods around here?
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-20 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-20 Pub. Date: 2014-07-20
Image Number: 113257
Caption: You've been avoiding me. Have not, Uncle Mort. For weeks, you've been dashing out of rooms as soon as I entered. Coincidence. What about when I knocked on your door yesterday and you jumped out the back window? Look, Uncle Mort, I just didn’t want to go through what I went through in 1994. I was just going to say one thing about the 20th anniversary of the OJ Simpson "trial of the century." YOU WOULD THINK THE "TRIAL OF THE CENTURY" WOULD'VE BEEN THE NUREMBERG TRIALS!
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-06 week 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-06 Pub. Date: 2014-03-06
Image Number: 108285
Caption: Two weeks ago … In other news, a local café manager named "Rudy Park" was hospitalized today … … When dozens of enraged Ukrainian visitors mistook him for their deposed president and pummeled him with fried curd cheese fritters … … A Ukrainian delicacy that for some reason was being sold at the cafe as "revenge fritters." The cafe's owner issued the following statement: "To show my thoughts are with Mr. Yanukovych, the fritter and hospital map combo is now half off."
     
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