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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-04 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-04 Pub. Date: 2019-11-04
Image Number: 180230
Caption: But I can't get rid of it. Momma told me it belonged to my father, and to his father before him. I never knew either of them. Susan, the only family heirlooms I have from them are my hat, my antique pocket watch and this. A microwave oven is not a family heirloom, Lemont. Get rid of it. But Grandpa Brown warmed up his rations with it during the Korean War. It's time, Lemont.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-02 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-02 Pub. Date: 2019-11-02
Image Number: 180107
Caption: If I promise to get you a new book tomorrow, will you go to sleep? Awe you exthtowting me? Am I Ukwaine? What do you mean Am I Ukraine? Where did you hear language like extorting? Are you listening at my door while I'm watching the news, again? You know you're not supposed to do that. If you'we impeached, do I become the new daddy? Go ... to ... sleep.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-27 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-27 Pub. Date: 2019-10-27
Image Number: 180026
Caption: $12 for bottled water?! Haven't you been watching the news? American's aging pipes are leaching chemicals into the water that cause horrific illnesses. The entire city of Flint was poisoned by led, leading to developmental damage in children and probably causing an outbreak of Legionnaires' Disease. All bottled water is tested for lead. But ours is special. It's guaranteed to be 100% free of certain other chemicals too. Out bottled water is also 100% free of adamantium, NTH metal, vibranium, kryptonite and dilithium. No other bottled water on the market makes that claim. Just give me coffee. Regular or guaranteed aniumanium-free? Very bad man.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-21 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-21 Pub. Date: 2019-07-21
Image Number: 178558
Caption: Did you know the New Yorker posts all its memees on Twitter and on its site? Memes? Yeah, you know, memes. Where they take an image and put a caption over it. The combination of image and caption makes it funny. My generation invented meme culture. I think you're describing cartoons. The other day, I came across a video of Harvard professor Cornell West dancing with his students. HOJ. He was really good at it. It was cute watching a Boomer try to co-opt my generation's movement culture. I do with the New Yorker and Cornell West would bne more original, though. Millennials are an interesting bunch. Was that snark, Boomer? Keep that up and I'll make sure you get ratioed on Twitter.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-17 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-17 Pub. Date: 2019-06-17
Image Number: 178142
Caption: White supremacist moves into town … Florida teen accused of posing as a doctor. Denies diagnosing patients … Middle school teacher secretly ran white supremacist podcast … AR-15 rifles to protect crops from hogs … What on earth do you Google that makes youtube think you want to watch all that? The most inbred people of all time.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-08 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-08 Pub. Date: 2019-06-08
Image Number: 177957
Caption: We missed you at Lionel's soccer game this morning. I meant to come. You've meant to come to this birthday parties, to his piano recitals, to his day care senior play … Who wants to watch three-year-olds perform Grapes of Wrath? I mean I had a big project at work. You really missed out. They performed it dressed as actual grapes.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-04 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-04 Pub. Date: 2019-06-04
Image Number: 177953
Caption: I can't wait to watch Star Trek: Picard. The teaser trailer made it pretty clear the show heavily involves the destruction of Romulus from J.J. Abrams 2009 film. That's going to tick off all the Abrams-haters who've been whining ever since 2009. I. Cannot. Wait. I thought Star Trek was all about a future where people aren't petty anymore. I'm all for eradicating pettiness after I get this last dig in.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-14 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-14 Pub. Date: 2019-05-14
Image Number: 177621
Caption: Clyde … didn't I ask you not to turn the channel? I didn't turn it … an' then after I finished not-turning it, I turned it. If people want a brotha to keep not-turnin'-the-channel, then next time y'all should specify that. Turn it back!!! I did … an' then I turned it away again.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-10 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-10 Pub. Date: 2019-04-10
Image Number: 177115
Caption: Remember Oleg, from junior high? I remember thinking even back then, I hate that guy. He'd run his fingers through girls' hair … rub their necks … kiss them all hello on the lips … I remember you used to say Sitcoms make very special episodes about guys like that. That's how I know anyone saying We didn't know it was wrong back then is full of it. Not everyone watched as much tv as you, Lemont.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-27 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-27 Pub. Date: 2019-03-27
Image Number: 176941
Caption: Lemont, I don't think millions of people watch Star Trek: Discovery. Parrot Analytics found Discovery had 24,859,094 average demand expressions per week. Other shows with those numbers had between 4 and 7 million viewers per episode, according to Nielsen Ratings. Parrot Analytics? You can't refute something just by questioning it in a skeptical tone. I can't? Stop that?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-25 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-25 Pub. Date: 2019-03-25
Image Number: 176939
Caption: Did you know that every week, millions of people gather on social media and Youtube for one purpose … which is to bash Star Trek: Discovery. They go over every last detail that they hated about each week's episode. All these gigantic online crowds of people seem to agree on one thing. Which is? That nobody watches it.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-11 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-11 Pub. Date: 2019-03-11
Image Number: 176724
Caption: I agree with Steven Spielberg: If it's made for Netflix, it's not a movie. A movie is something made for a big giant screen in a big giant dark room where you watch it with big giant crowds munching on big giant tubs of popcorn. A movie is something you can loudly talk over to register your opinion with the masses. you almost had me. it's a communal experience.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-24 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-24 Pub. Date: 2019-02-24
Image Number: 176205
Caption: In my day, we were happier. We spent more time with friends. We even got along with people who disagreed with us political. We got outside more, traveled the roads, counted the stars, went fishing, watched the tumbleweeds … We were out in the world, ambling around. Experiencing it all. We didn't waste 11 hours a day staring into screens! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up. I said, I can handle a quadruple espresso. I don't care what Google told you.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-04 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-04 Pub. Date: 2019-02-04
Image Number: 176170
Caption: I've seen an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes. What on earth are you talking about, little buddy? I watched more than 80 movies last night on Hulu, for free. Are you talking about trailers? When it shows the beginning, middle and end, it's a movie.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-12 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-12 Pub. Date: 2018-12-12
Image Number: 175377
Caption: Member how I watch your boy for you? Well, I need a favor too right quick. You want me to watch your pet pigeon? Nah, bruh … I want you to testify that you a voice actor I hired to sound like Nat King Cole, 'cause Nat King Cole people suing me for sampling him in my album. I'll watch your pigeon. All you gotta do is up sync to the testimony I recorded for you usin' Nat King Cole voice.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-25 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-25 Pub. Date: 2018-11-25
Image Number: 174819
Caption: This is the Hallmark Channel. Tonight on the Andy Griffith Show, little Opie Taylor gets … recruited into the Nazi party, only here on the History Channel. But first, Ancient Aliens … were easily confirmed for lifetime appointments to the federal courts. Fox News reports that most senators ... were totally rubber stamps! ... You've been watching Top Ten Favorite Office Supplies. If you like our content, do all the Youtube things: Like, share, and ... set fire to the Reichstag, giving Hitler an excuse to demand almost-unlimited emergency powers. Despite the evidence, he blamed it on a devious liberal conspiracy to subvert ... Gilligan, Mary Ann, and the Skipper, too.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-02 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-02 Pub. Date: 2018-11-02
Image Number: 174719
Caption: Was the foster family child protective services put you with nice to you, son? Yes! We aw got the watch the Amewican fwag on tv, and we got to pwedge awegiance to Donawd Twump. You meant that the other way around, right? … right? I leawned to shoot a Kawashnikov and a wocket wauncher.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-25 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-25 Pub. Date: 2018-10-25
Image Number: 174603
Caption: Momma, why can't you watch Lionel for me? It's only two weeks. I have an important story to go cover. What do you mean you don't have the energy? … Yes, yes I know you're not 22 anymore, but you … Yes, Yes I know you're not 23 anymore. But … Yes, I know you're not 24 -- Are we going to go through every number there is? ... No, I'm not saying you're that old. Hello? Are you still there?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-24 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-24 Pub. Date: 2018-10-24
Image Number: 174602
Caption: Sorry, Lemont, I can't watch your son for you for two whole weeks. Have a Lego allergy. Oh … wait, a what? No? Well, I mean I have an appendectomy scheduled. No, you don't. You just don't want to watch your best friend's son while your best friend is away covering the voter disenfranchisement in all those states. Children terrify you. Admit it. Are you calling me a liar? You had your appendix out in second grade. It grew back.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-24 watch 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-24 Pub. Date: 2018-09-24
Image Number: 174191
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood cliches. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all alone in front of his TV … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for half an hour. Cliches are cliches for a reason.
     
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