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Candorville

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-16 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-16 Pub. Date: 2014-11-16
Image Number: 118343
Caption: Let me get this straight: Lately you've been refusing to be intimate with your wife because … Ebola. Dr. Noodle. I just think it's irresponsible to put oneself at risk during this time of national emergency. Ph.D. Do you have any reason to believe she's been exposed to the virus? Well, she's been to an Ebola-infested region. I watched "Dallas" on Netflix. That's not the same thing. We have a 4k TV. It's just like being there. WTH. I think until she's been quarantined for 26 weeks, I should stay in the den by myself and watch football. He can stay in there for 26 years for all I care. That's overkill. Football's only 26 weeks. S.M.H.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-27 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-27 Pub. Date: 2014-04-27
Image Number: 109961
Caption: Who do you think's gonna replace David Letterman on "Late Show"? Who give a *$%@? Yet another white dude in a suit, tellin' jokes an' suckin' up to actors … Why would I care about that? You go like 21 late night shows. Only one of them hosts ain't white, an only one is a woman. White men about 36% of America, bit they like 90% OF LATE NIGHT. Late night TV don't look like America, dawg. Unless they ask Dave Chappelle to host it, I ain't watchin'. Besides, I already watched them "Chappelle Show" DVDs fifty times. I need some new Dave. So that's what happened to my ... GIVE ME BACK MY DVDs!!!
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-21 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-21 Pub. Date: 2014-02-21
Image Number: 107710
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I decided to show my son the same cartoons I saw as a kid. So I YouTubed "Casper the Friendly Ghost." He liked it, but all I could think about was "Hey … that's a dead kid who's not allowed to go to heaven … "… He's condemned to roam the earth forever, trying in vain to make friends. And every time he fails, he tries to OFF himself." So those stories were fine for you but not for your kid? So then we watched the Smurfs, and I was like, "This is a caste system!"
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-01 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-01 Pub. Date: 2013-12-01
Image Number: 104088
Caption: 1982. Am I your best friend, Lemont. I guess so. I've known you almost my whole life! I like you more than ANYTHING, Susan. More than peanut butter? If I had to choose between you and peanut butter, I would never touch peanut butter again in life. More than birthday cake? If I had to choose between you and birthday cake, I would never touch birthday cake again in life. More than Star trek? If I had to choose between you and Knight Rider, I would never watch Knight Rider again in life. ... I said "Star trek." Don't push it lady.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-25 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-25 Pub. Date: 2013-10-25
Image Number: 102930
Caption: Wanna come over and watch C-Span with Lionel and me? No, I … Wait. Wait a second. You and your two-year-old son watch C-Span together? You mean PBS, right? "Sesame Street"? No, I mean C-Span. The channel that shows Congress in action. Why? Just … WHY? Because he's too young to watch "The Walking Dead." I can't make it. I'll be busy forgetting this conversation.
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-07 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-07 Pub. Date: 2013-10-07
Image Number: 102496
Caption: Think about it. We may soon have a "President Clinton" in the White House. The Batman franchise is making questionable casting decisions. There's a government shutdown. Last night, I watched the Arsenio Hall show. ARSENIO. Need I go on? I'm sorry, I still don't believe we all went back in time to the nineties. Ok, but if I see Sinbad on my TV I'm gonna freak the heck out.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-11 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-11 Pub. Date: 2013-09-11
Image Number: 101334
Caption: We can't go to war 'cause of a video tape. How we know them rebels didn't do that to frame they government? That would violate the "Matlock Principle." Every episode, a killer would frame someone else, and Andy Griffith would catch him. It was so unrealistic. "Real life is inversely proportionate to Matlock." Don't you watch nothin' made in THIS century? Thug 4 Life.
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-24 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-24 Pub. Date: 2013-08-24
Image Number: 100556
Caption: Monopoly Cable, Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? You dropped CBS. 10% of the shows I watched were on CBS. Since you're giving me 10% less product, I will be paying you 10% less money. Ok sir, that sounds reasonable. Coincidentally, we were about to raise your rates by 10%, so let's call it even.
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-28 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-28 Pub. Date: 2013-07-28
Image Number: 99246
Caption: I always wanted a circle of friends like the ones I saw on TV. I wanted friends who would stick by me through all my failed romances … Like in "Sex and the City." … Friends who would care enough about me to argue with me when I'm wrong, like in "A Different World." ... Friends who would do silly dances to make me lighten up, like in "What's Happening!!" ... Friends who would fight every battle for me, like Fonzie did for Richie Cunningham. WHY CAN'T I FIND FRIENDS LIKE THOSE?! Maybe because you've spent all your time watching TV. FRASIER CRANE never would've said that.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-25 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-25 Pub. Date: 2013-06-25
Image Number: 98448
Caption: The news just ran a story about how watching TV negatively affects cognition. … Or maybe it was memory.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-07 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-07 Pub. Date: 2013-06-07
Image Number: 97642
Caption: What's that? A light timer. It'll make my lamp turn on randomly all night. … That way, burglars will think I'm home. I also got a "Barking Fido" motion sensor, so they'll think I have a huge dog. And I also got a blinking light that makes it look like someone's watching TV. Maybe it's time to think about moving. You can't really trust movers.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-05 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-05 Pub. Date: 2013-06-05
Image Number: 97640
Caption: Studies show that channel-flipping leads to attention deficit disorder. Click. Thug 4 Life. This side up. In other news, what you're doing right now is likely to kill you if you don’t stop right this instant. Click. Find out more after the break. Click. Studies show that channel-flipping leads to ... Something or other ... I don't recall. Back to you, Wolf.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-30 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-30 Pub. Date: 2013-05-30
Image Number: 97402
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." I ain't the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! Hold on … Let's find out. We have the results of the paternity test. You in trouble now! Brian, in the case of Linda's baby, Little Brian Jr, you are. BEEEEEEP! This is the Emergency Broadcast System. We interrupt this program to say "Are you really watching this #$%?"
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-29 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-29 Pub. Date: 2013-05-29
Image Number: 97401
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Maury, I can't possibly be the daddy. We was only together that one time. An' it was the first time for both of us. E'rebody know you cant make a baby if it your first time. What that tell you, Maury? What that tell you? ... That they need better sex ed classes. Thug 4 Life.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-28 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-28 Pub. Date: 2013-05-28
Image Number: 97400
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Brian, Linda accuses you of being the father of her baby. That ain't true, Maury. Yeah, I have 29 other kids, but I ain't claimin' one that ain't mine … … Because I have INTEGRITY. It's like I can feel my synapses just giving up. He do make a good point. Thug 4 Life.
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-11 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-11 Pub. Date: 2013-04-11
Image Number: 95575
Caption: Lemont talks to his cable provider. You're right, satellite would end up being just as expensive. Glad you realized that! Doesn't mean I'm coming back to you. I've been thinking ... Almost everything I watch is online. Maybe I'll just get a Roku box and stream on Netflix and Hulu for $20/month. It's really over, isn't it. You'll find another man who won't mind paying $120 for the Sewing Channel. (Originally published on 2011-09-01).
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-26 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-26 Pub. Date: 2013-03-26
Image Number: 95004
Caption: No, I'd rather not watch "Game of Thrones" with you. How can you watch all that stuff on HBO? It’s all just the same show in different settings. A half-dozen characters butchering and betraying each other, an innocent one who gets corrupted, and butt-naked women. The last thing you said sort of made me forget all the other stuff you said. Never mind.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-08 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-08 Pub. Date: 2013-03-08
Image Number: 94134
Caption: Maybe you and Lemont aren't destined to be together after all. You're so very different. He's a sci-fi fanatic, but you watch Lifetime movies. He loves Korean food, but you can't stand it. He's got a two-year-old, but you don’t want kids. How on Earth do you know all this? You're a private person, but he blogs about everything.
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-21 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-21 Pub. Date: 2013-02-21
Image Number: 93618
Caption: You've reached Concast Cable. You have a past due balance of $198 for the month of January. How would like to remedy this? By credit card? By PayPal? By cancelling your overpriced service and finding something better to do with my time that sit in front of my TV. What if I gave you $10 off for the next six months? Ok.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-09 watch television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-09 Pub. Date: 2013-01-09
Image Number: 91985
Caption: Thanks for watching Lionel for me so I can work, Clyde. Yeh, he a cool little dude. I watched the whole Gilligan's Island marathon and Lionel didn't bother me once. He quiet. He don't make no mess. In fact, it's almost like he wasn't here at all. That's cause I haven't dropped him off with you yet. Whatever.
     
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