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Candorville

Comics about wastes and wasting.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-24 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-24 Pub. Date: 2019-02-24
Image Number: 176205
Caption: In my day, we were happier. We spent more time with friends. We even got along with people who disagreed with us political. We got outside more, traveled the roads, counted the stars, went fishing, watched the tumbleweeds … We were out in the world, ambling around. Experiencing it all. We didn't waste 11 hours a day staring into screens! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up. I said, I can handle a quadruple espresso. I don't care what Google told you.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-29 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-29 Pub. Date: 2018-06-29
Image Number: 172491
Caption: Ms. Garcia, I just want to thank you for trusting me to handle the Ask Sadie Show account. I've been waiting for a chance to prove myself. When I opened your memo this morning, I got right to work on a ten-step action plan. I wasted no time. I promise I won't let you down. I sent you that memo last year, Courtney. Step one is to tell you I disagree with having Kevin Spacey do the voiceover.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-21 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-21 Pub. Date: 2018-03-21
Image Number: 169628
Caption: Is it all just a waste of time? I don't know what you mean, bruh. I wrote an article called Mr. President, if you want to look like you're Russia's stooge, firing your Secretary of State right after he strongly criticizes Russia is a great way to do it. Just seconds after I posted it, thousands of people attacked me on Twitter, and I've been debating them ever since. But now I'm not sure any of them were actual people. If they was actual people, they'da tuned you out after that long-@#$ headline, like I did.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-25 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163097
Caption: Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my entire life being a journalist. Why bother? History just repeats itself anyway. Dr. Noodle. I just started reading a political memoir I heard about on the radio this morning. M.A. The Democrat James M. Cox wrote it after he lost the election of 1920 to Harding. It's called "That Which Occurred." He also blamed his loss on Bernie Sanders. I hope I can be as sharp as Bernie at his age.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-24 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-24 Pub. Date: 2017-09-24
Image Number: 162394
Caption: I can't shake the feeling that nothing is really real, doc. Dr. Noodle. I just got my doctorate in history. And I watch the news every day. And I've started feeling like I've wasted my whole life studying things that never happened. I mean, if everything I see happening right now is "fake," how am I supposed to trust history? How am I supposed to know that Mussolini or Napoleon or Genghis Khan or Robespierre or Caligula were ever really all that bad? Maybe all the journalists and scribes who chronicled their reigns were part of an age-old fake-news conspiracy dating all the way back to the days of Peisistratos? I see. When exactly did these doubts begin? Oh, about 546 B.C.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-21 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157604
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about how the coral reefs have pretty much died off. I mean yeah, a huge variety of fish and other sealife rely on the coral reefs. And yeah, about 500 million people in turn depend on that sealife for food, jobs and recreation. But it's not mankind's fault those sea creatures decided to sponge off the hard work of the polyps that made all the coral. Wait ... what? ... and it's not our fault that 500 million people didn't think ahead and get real jobs instead of sponging off welfare fish. Besides, marine habitats are something better left to private industry. If the fish really want vast expanses of underwater limestone shelters, let them buy it on the free market like the rest of us. Besides, I was just wasting my time with all those snorkeling vacations. I should've been working. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Newsweak.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-30 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-30 Pub. Date: 2017-01-30
Image Number: 153971
Caption: This just in: President Trump has forbidden federal agencies from revealing information to the pub … Click … Toxic waste from an unknown source in neighboring Canardville may have leached into the Candorville reservoir, so do not … Click … May be an indication that the sun has exploded, but we won't detect it visually for another 8 minutes and 20 seconds. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... Mun mun mun -
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-21 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-21 Pub. Date: 2016-11-21
Image Number: 151294
Caption: 1982. If you could live anywhere in the whole wide world, where would it be? Other than here, I mean. Oh. Well … I think I would have to choose Canada. But only 'cause Atlantis is under water, and I can't swim. You could learn to swim. At my age? I should've learned when I was young. You are about to be seven. I feel like I wasted my youth.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-10 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-10 Pub. Date: 2016-07-10
Image Number: 144955
Caption: Let's watch "Lou Grant" on Hulu. "Lou Grant"? Ain't that that show your momma used to watch when we was kids? Yeah. I ran out of things to watch, so I figured I'd finally check out some of the shows that bored me to death when I was young. It was really depressing. If it was depressin', why you wanna watch it? I mean it's depressing how good it is. Our parents' generation had writers and actors who knew how to use mature, flawed characters to tell stories that really examined human nature in all its intricacies. And it's set in a major newspaper back when they were still widely read and mostly family-owned, and saw what they did as a calling. When I think of all the time I wasted watching "Sesame Street" when I could've watched this ... I don't watch nothin' older than the milk in my fridge, bruh. That's policy.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-05 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-05 Pub. Date: 2015-07-05
Image Number: 128670
Caption: But if you just watch. I ain't wanna talk about this, Big L. But why can't we talk about it? 'Cause there only so many words we get to hear an' say before we die. The average person say 370,110,001 words in his lifetime, bruh. Way I see it, I ain't got but 180,000,000 left. I ain't gonna waste nary a one of them on that corny @*$%. Besides, Star Track Next Generation been off the air 20 years now, bruh. I'm just saying, once you notice Worf doesn't have any ears, you can't ever unnotice it.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-19 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-19 Pub. Date: 2015-06-19
Image Number: 128380
Caption: Tyrone, what day is it today? Is it Friday? It feels like a Friday. Spare change. I refuse to answer such a destructive question. Why must we always know the exact year, month, day, hour, minute and second? A person who obsesses over such minutiae becomes acutely aware of the moments of his life slipping away like sand through an hourglass. I refuse to pour the ocean of my life into little cups and then waste all my time counting them. It's ok to just admit when you don't know something.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-20 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-20 Pub. Date: 2014-04-20
Image Number: 109691
Caption: I don’t know, man, there's just something people forget about the internet. What? Nobody's as anonymous as they think they are. And When they insult total strangers … When they call them "naïve morons" just 'cause they disagree … … When they tell other human beings they're wastes of space on this Earth ... When they say things like "I'd call you an uneducated baboon, but baboons smell better ... " ... They forget that before the so-called anonymity of the web, saying such things to other human beings usually led to consequences. How'd you get my number? That's not important right now, Gunther.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-13 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-13 Pub. Date: 2013-12-13
Image Number: 104851
Caption: You ever think about how you runnin' outta time, Big L? You ever worry you'll die before you get to accomplish e'rething you set out to do? You ever stay awake at night 'cause you hopin' somehow you'll do somethin' … ANYTHING … to keep that day from havin' been a complete an' total waste? No. Me neither.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-29 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-29 Pub. Date: 2013-10-29
Image Number: 103218
Caption: Are there any job openings at your ad agency? Really? Lemont, I'm so excited! It's about time you realized there's no future in journalism, that your newspaper is dying, and that it's just stupid at your age to keep wasting time in a dead-end job. … I meant 'cause I know a kid whose mom needs a job. Oh, well ... I ... ay ay. What do you mean "at my age"? (Cartoon originally published 2011-04-19 and 2013-03-12).
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-29 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-29 Pub. Date: 2013-08-29
Image Number: 100804
Caption: What do you think of "stop and frisk"? I think it's rude. If cops are going to violate my constitutional rights, the least they could do is not waste my time. "Walk and frisk" would be a little more acceptable. Or "bike and frisk." I've got places to be. Dios mio.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-02 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-02 Pub. Date: 2013-06-02
Image Number: 97126
Caption: Lookin' at this view a waste of time. I should be saying something profound to go with this view.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-24 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-24 Pub. Date: 2013-04-24
Image Number: 96080
Caption: Lionel, there are just some things you're too young to know about. But why? Because they'd give you nightmares, and you'd grow up scared of everyone and everything, miss out on life, and have to waste money and time visiting a psychotherapist. Ow. Daddy? Whath a thycotherapith? One of those things you're too young to know about. That'th thircular weathoning!!!
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-12 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-12 Pub. Date: 2013-03-12
Image Number: 94589
Caption: Are there any job openings at your ad agency? Really? Lemont, I'm so excited! It's about time you realized there's no future in journalism, that your newspaper is dying, and that it's just stupid at your age to keep wasting time in a dead-end job. … I meant 'cause I know a kid whose mom needs a job. Oh, well ... I ... ay ay. What do you mean "at my age"? (Cartoon originally published 2011-04-19).
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-05 waste 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-05 Pub. Date: 2013-02-05
Image Number: 93049
Caption: You never post anything on your Facebook. So? For hundreds of thousands of years, mankind was alone in his thoughts. Even when we wrote poems or books, feedback from other people took days or months. Now we don’t have to waste time having any thoughts that other people don't "like" instantly. I don't like that.
     
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