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Rudy Park

Comics about turns and turning.

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-30 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-30 Pub. Date: 2015-04-30
Image Number: 126202
Caption: Boss, it's freezing in the café. It's like 20 degrees. Excellent. But we're not quite there yet. Go into the basement and tell Gunther to pedal faster or I revoke his work visa. Industrial grade air conditioners don't power themselves, after all. As soon as you see a customer turn blue, raise prices on the hot cocoa. Very bad man.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-23 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-23 Pub. Date: 2015-04-23
Image Number: 125926
Caption: Show me "Babylon 5" spinoff "Crusade." Searching … Make it season two. Error … There was no season two. Show me how any of my favorite shows would've turned out if their dumb networks hadn't canceled them way too soon. Error … How about: show me Little Orphan "Annie" without all that annoying singing. Error ...
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-08 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-08 Pub. Date: 2015-04-08
Image Number: 125276
Caption: Your face is still hurting? You'd better get that checked. Maybe it'll go away. House of Java.net Cybercafe. True. Or maybe it'll turn into something a lot worse because you didn't get it checked today. It could be nothing, but it could also be nerve damage. Or an infection in your gums. You could lose all your teeth, little buddy. How'd you like to try paying for implants on minimum wage? That sounds awesome. Can they be bionic? "Matter-Eater Lad" was my favorite superhero.
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-06 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-06 Pub. Date: 2015-02-06
Image Number: 122490
Caption: You've reached Randy, The Dating Doctor. What ails you? My girlfriend. She's always dressing me in clothes I don't like, combing my hair in a way I don't like, and trying to get me to do things I don't like to do. That’s because she was impatient. Instead of finding the man of her dreams, she decided to just turn you into the man of her dreams. Run while you're still you. She replaced my running shoes with flip-flops.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-02 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-02 Pub. Date: 2015-02-02
Image Number: 122486
Caption: You're all smiles today, little buddy. What's up? The Hololens. What's a "Hololens"? Goggles that project holograms and computer interfaces on top of everyday things. Next time I'm sitting on a crowded bus and someone's rump is right in front of me, I can turn it into a tv screen. Or play solitaire on it. I've been waiting for this tech my whole life. Can I project smiles onto the grouchy?
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-16 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-16 Pub. Date: 2015-01-16
Image Number: 121463
Caption: What if history had turned out differently? I've often wondered the same thing. What if the nuclear tests had happened at a different Marshall Island, other than Bikini Atoll? The bikini could've very well been called "the Rongerik." or "the Enewetak." or "the Rongelap." The possible perturbations boggle the mind. I meant something more important. ... Like how if Nintendo had adopted compact discs, the Playstation never would've happened.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-26 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-26 Pub. Date: 2014-12-26
Image Number: 120667
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Nobody got me anything for Christmas. No one cares about me. No one loves me. No one even thinks about me. You're right, because caring and love are measured only by how much loot people give you. What I just gave you, by the way, was the gift of sarcasm. If I can't turn around and sell it on eBay, it's not a "gift."
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-15 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-15 Pub. Date: 2014-11-15
Image Number: 118880
Caption: You have reached Randy, The Dating Doctor. What ails you? I'm friends with this girl … She's all I can think about. I treat her way better than the guys she dates, but she doesn’t even know I'm alive. Of course she knows you're alive. You're the potted houseplant in the corner of her life. Do you understand what I'm telling you? That it's only a matter of time till it's my turn? You're more like a Venus Flytrap.
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-05 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-05 Pub. Date: 2014-11-05
Image Number: 118565
Caption: I thought you'd be more excited because of all the extra power the republicans have now. Those communists? If you want to see me excited, check back with me on December 7, 2037, at 6:42 AM. According to my calculations, that's when the cabal of industrialists who REALLY control the world will dispense with the pretense of "government." We'll just turn on everyone's secretly implanted compliance-chips. You calculated that? Way back when I opened my first lemonade stand. It's in my business plan under "endgame."
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-09 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-09 Pub. Date: 2014-10-09
Image Number: 117418
Caption: Hey, Randy, you still in the café? Yeah. What's up? People don’t know how to drive. There I was driving along, when this guy pulled out right in front of me going 10 below the speed limit. Why do people do that? If a car's going faster than you, let it pass, don't pull right in front of it. Anyway, I think I may have left a can of cooking oil next to the stove. Can you make sure I turned off the burner? So how was your morning? You really need to prioritize the things you say.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-04 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-04 Pub. Date: 2014-07-04
Image Number: 113255
Caption: I want to know there's something valuable about me that won't ever pale in comparison to someone else. Really? That's the kind of desire that makes a lot of people turn to religion. Do Not Disturb. … Y'know, so they can feel like they have some unique role to play in some grand machine. Sounds good. Which religion is the best. I like commercianity. It has lots of games and movies and stuff.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-25 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-25 Pub. Date: 2014-06-25
Image Number: 112981
Caption: 4,489 American troops lost their lives in Iraq, and thousands were seriously wounded for life. Some accounts say half a million Iraqis died because of the war. But you know what? If it turns out they all sacrificed in vain, then that's the most powerful reminder there is that wars of choice do not end well. ... In which case they did NOT sacrifice in vain. I've forgotten what you just said.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-20 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-20 Pub. Date: 2014-06-20
Image Number: 112747
Caption: … Charge extra for people to wear shoes, create a tax on spilled drinks, double-charge for napkins. Boring. You're not a government entity, it's been done. I give up. I concede. I've got nothing. Maybe I don’t belong as a businessman. Maybe I should just turn over the keys to the place to the customer ... They can make their own drinks and become experts and run their own coffee houses. Or I could charge them for making their own drinks and call this a training ground! Witness the return of a muse!
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-19 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-19 Pub. Date: 2014-06-19
Image Number: 112746
Caption: I've got to fight through my creative malaise. I've come up with a list of ways to eke out more money from customers. Let's hear 'em. Charge for extra pads of butter. It's okay, but it's boring. Right. How about: raise coffee prices; sell only day-old pastries; turn off the lights to save electricity ... Boring, boring, boring. Require people to make their own drinks? C'mon, you're not even trying.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-02 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-02 Pub. Date: 2014-06-02
Image Number: 112155
Caption: Welcome to the Sadie Cohen radio hour. Sometimes it's nice to turn on your radio and hear people talk about stuff that's not so divisive and controversial. For instance, today we'll be talking about itsy bitsy fluffy puppy dogs … Should these filthy scavengers be rounded up and shipped to Antarctica, or should they be launched into the sun? Somebody misses the Obamacare fighting. You're on, caller. DIE, PUPPY-HATER!
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-20 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-20 Pub. Date: 2014-05-20
Image Number: 111623
Caption: It’s not every day you turn on the TV and see your nemesis being chased by the cops on the freeway. Old Sadie sire knows how to handle a Rascal Scooter. I still don’t know how she avoided those spike strips. You know what it’s made me think, Randy? HOJ. It has? Wow. When's the last time something did that? (Sorry, when Sadie's in jail, someone has to be Sadie.)
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-28 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-28 Pub. Date: 2014-04-28
Image Number: 110789
Caption: Why should I let you leave work, Rudy. Because my shift's over. I've calculated it. Turns out you spend 12.2% of your day mopping. That means in just one month, I pay you more to mop than the price of one Roomba. The Roomba robot would work 24 hours a day if I told it to. Would like a 12.2% pay cut, of shall I rename thee. "Roomba Park"? Goodnight, Scrooge.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-02 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-02 Pub. Date: 2014-03-02
Image Number: 108410
Caption: Did I remember to turn off the stove? Stop second-guessing yourself. It displays a lack of confidence in yourself and it's unattractive. Forget that! What if the house is burning down?! My plants! My bongos! My Joan Baez records! A real man would sooner burn his whole house down than reveal to his lady just how little faith he has in himself! People can turn ANYTHING into a "relationship discussion." I find it helpful when a lady wants to talk about "the relationship." You don't care if I find you attractive! It lets me know I'm IN one and that's my cue to split. I'm sorry!
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-25 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-25 Pub. Date: 2014-01-25
Image Number: 106955
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penalty for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time? - Andy, Los Angeles. Actual reader question. Excellent question. Unfortunately, answering that question would lead to a stock market collapse ... Which would be just the sign of weakness that the Dutch have been looking for. I'll answer you if you really want to wake up to the sound of 500,000 clogs bearing down on you. Ask Sadie questions at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-10 turn 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-10 Pub. Date: 2014-01-10
Image Number: 106940
Caption: Ever since you restarted your feud with Mrs. Cohen, our profits have increased 16%. I hope you're happy. I was … but then I crunched some numbers. It turns out that if you give it a little more effort, you can boost that number. 213 of patrons under 60 say they'd stick around longer if it meant they could watch Sadie give you and Atomic Wedgie. How do you live with yourself knowing you're not giving it your all? Pretty well. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard.
     
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