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The True Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-14 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-14 Pub. Date: 2016-04-14
Image Number: 141799
Caption: I've been thinking about how you said women don’t need to earn what men do 'cause we pay their way half the time. Maybe it's true, but whose fault is that? Most of the time, they don't ask us to pay. That's our decision, because we're trying to impress them. Who's this "we"? I ain't never tried to impress nobody. Don't change the subject. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-17).
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-02 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-02 Pub. Date: 2016-04-02
Image Number: 141138
Caption: Lemont? If you could wish for just one thing and it'd come true, what would it be? And don't say "an unlimited number of wishes." That’s cheating. I'd wish for an unlimited number of wishes. How about you? I'd wish that men actually listened. It looks good on you. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-11-09).
     
123. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2016-03-20 true 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2016-03-20 Pub. Date: 2016-03-20
Image Number: 140501
Caption: F&E Marketing and Advertising. Election years are the hardest! It's tough to sell guys like this new political client. To begin with, he has IRS problems. Let's says "He's an experienced tax-cutter." He also took bribes to pay off his debts. That's great! We'll spin it that "he knows how to balance a budget!" He gave public sector jobs to unqualified family members. "He's lowered unemployment." And he has high unfavorable ratings across the political spectrum. Perfect! We'll call him a "true uniter!"
     
124. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-14 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-14 Pub. Date: 2016-03-14
Image Number: 140509
Caption: I was supposed to be covering a horrible story in Uganda. But then a horrible story broke in the Ukraine. So I changed my ticket to the Ukraine and booked a room at the Motel Sixky. Turns out there is no "Motel Sixky." It was a fake website run by identity thieves. Look on the bright side: Now you got a horrible story to cover right in your house. True.
     
125. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2016-03-13 true 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2016-03-13 Pub. Date: 2016-03-13
Image Number: 138960
Caption: I'm gonna write a sitcom called "TJ and the Brad"! Makes sense. We're a laff riot. Well, I am. You need to be way funnier. The goal is 6 jokes per minute. Ok. Why did the chicken - Can You Write a Hit Sitcom? By Bets Shucant. We start with a funny one-minute scene that states a problem. I can do it in one second: You're an idiot. We bring in a subplot ... Make mine a foot-long meatball. The hero struggles comically. What's the difference between a "sub" and a "hero"? But never changes ... True. You've worn that shirt forever. Ok, if you're not gonna take this seriously, forget it! Hey, I did MY 6 jokes.
     
126. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2016-03-09 true 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2016-03-09 Pub. Date: 2016-03-09
Image Number: 139574
Caption: Come on, dog breath, make a wish. It came true, it came true!!
     
127. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-05 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-05 Pub. Date: 2016-03-05
Image Number: 139629
Caption: You know a good way to tell your friend his breath remind you of barnyard animals? My breath is just fine, Clyde. You sound defensive, bruh. Of course I do. You said something about me that isn't true, so I'm defending myself. That's what's wrong with America: Every time an innocent person defends himself, people say that's proof he's guilty. There you go again with your defense-tivity. Your breath must be worse that I thought. I'm going to quit while I'm behind.
     
128. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-05 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-05 Pub. Date: 2016-03-05
Image Number: 139847
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3a.m., we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-29 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-29 Pub. Date: 2016-02-29
Image Number: 139842
Caption: Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt with heretics.
     
130. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2016-02-25 true 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2016-02-25 Pub. Date: 2016-02-25
Image Number: 138985
Caption: You know what they say about good friends? They can go long periods of time without speaking and never question the friendship. What do you think? Oh, it's true. In fact, the less you talk, the more I like you.
     
131. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2016-02-21 true 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2016-02-21 Pub. Date: 2016-02-21
Image Number: 140044
Caption: It's awfully windy out here, Frank! Yeah … early season golf is a true test of character. But when the going gets tough, the tough get going. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. What goes around comes around.
     
132. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-06 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-06 Pub. Date: 2016-02-06
Image Number: 138615
Caption: Do you believe the world is all an illusion? I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon. Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet "It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies." If the entire hive mind of earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true. I hope not. I'd hate for you to end up being the most important person in history.
     
133. Comic Strip Signe Wilkinson  Family Tree 2010-04-01 true 
Cartoonist(s): Signe Wilkinson
Comic/Cartoon: Family Tree
Viewable Date: 2016-02-04 Pub. Date: 2010-04-01
Image Number: 45728
Caption: There's only one way to test out the sex-ed theories. Uh-oh. I need a date with Ryan Beardsley. Twig? He's not on the curriculum. True, but … How else will I know whether abstinence works? W. Fester High.
     
134. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2016-01-30 true 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2016-01-30 Pub. Date: 2016-01-30
Image Number: 138753
Caption: It's true that when you wish upon a star it makes no difference who you are, but it makes a big difference who you know.
     
135. Comic Strip Signe Wilkinson  Family Tree 2010-03-29 true 
Cartoonist(s): Signe Wilkinson
Comic/Cartoon: Family Tree
Viewable Date: 2016-01-25 Pub. Date: 2010-03-29
Image Number: 45701
Caption: Sun today. I'd love a more local weather report. True. It would make it easier to plan … Whether we need our emotional umbrellas.
     
136. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-24 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-24 Pub. Date: 2016-01-24
Image Number: 137727
Caption: I told my wife all about us, Jenny, and she left me. That means we can finally be together, like we wanted. All the things we dreamed about over Facebook can finally come true. We can finally take that long walk along the beach … make love under the night sky on a bed of roses ... dress like big teddy bears and mud-wrestle ... All the beautiful things that we alone dared to dream are finally about to happen, Jenny. No ... this isn't Robert ... No ... this isn't Sam ... Jenny, are you joking with m -- No, this isn't Randy ...
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-22 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-22 Pub. Date: 2016-01-22
Image Number: 137948
Caption: Be careful what you wish for, Rosencrantz. For Christmas, I wished you and I had a "blanket."
     
138. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2016-01-15 true 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2016-01-15 Pub. Date: 2016-01-15
Image Number: 137181
Caption: It's true, Earl. I can tell exactly how you feel just by looking at your mustache. I don't believe it. Oh, it's true. When you're happy your mustache smiles, even if your mouth doesn't. And when you're unhappy it frowns all by itself. Wow, maybe that explains why I've never been good at playing poker!
     
139. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2016-01-12 true 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2016-01-12 Pub. Date: 2016-01-12
Image Number: 138237
Caption: It's usually true, brother Ernest, that you should dress for the job you want, but ...
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-10 true 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-10 Pub. Date: 2016-01-10
Image Number: 136908
Caption: I'm sorry, we're all out of mocha. Want something else? Yes, I want you to run to Starbucks and get me a mocha. I'm … what? Sorry, I can't do that. You have to. Or I'll sue. Sue for what? I saw your menu from the sidewalk. I'm not following. If your menu is viewable from the sidewalk, it's considered advertising. If you advertise a product but you don't have it in stock and you don't cross it out, that's false advertising. And that's a crime. So what's it going to be? Are you going to run down to Starbucks or do you want me to bring the wrath of the entire judicial system down upon you? I'm not sure any of that is true. But I could use the fresh air. While you're there, would you be a poodle and get me a cheese danish?
     
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