Urethra! What? You said the other day your iPhone's been tracking your movemets for years. We can use that to prove you've been with Roxanne and Lionel! … Oh, wait. You said all your media libraries were suspiciously erased. I guess that would include the location data the iPhoen would've backed up to iTunes. You mean "eureka"? What'd I say?
So the judge ruled out DNA. I still have hundreds of pictures of Lionel and me together that prove I'm his dad. I have pictures of me and the Three Stooges together. Photoshop is so WIN! I miss the '90s. Look: it's me, you and Justin Bieber.