I'm not gay, I swear. I didn't really divorce my wife and marry Lance the mailman. I made it all up to illustrate how letting gays marry destroys traditional marriage and makes people gay. Lilly and I are still happily married. Repeat that part. It destroys traditional marriage. The other part. It makes people gay?
You left your wife and married Lance the mailman? I had no choice. California legalized gay marriage. Obviously, that meant traditional marriage must die, and we must all turn gay. So instead of waiting for the inevitable, I figured I'd just get it over with now. Some people will do anything to prove a point. Don't tell Lance about me and Arnold.