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Candorville

Comics about tops and topping.

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (76 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-23 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-23 Pub. Date: 2019-01-23
Image Number: 175942
Caption: Why you always arguin' with other journalists on Twitter, bruh? It ain't a good look. They call you a useful idiot, you call them a corporate stooge, don't nobody come out on top. Before you know it, you an' Anderson Blitzer gonna be throwin' hands, or havin' a dance-battle in that alley. Wait ... he and I were having a private argument. How'd you see it? That ain't important right now. Give me back my phone!!!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-25 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-25 Pub. Date: 2018-11-25
Image Number: 174819
Caption: This is the Hallmark Channel. Tonight on the Andy Griffith Show, little Opie Taylor gets … recruited into the Nazi party, only here on the History Channel. But first, Ancient Aliens … were easily confirmed for lifetime appointments to the federal courts. Fox News reports that most senators ... were totally rubber stamps! ... You've been watching Top Ten Favorite Office Supplies. If you like our content, do all the Youtube things: Like, share, and ... set fire to the Reichstag, giving Hitler an excuse to demand almost-unlimited emergency powers. Despite the evidence, he blamed it on a devious liberal conspiracy to subvert ... Gilligan, Mary Ann, and the Skipper, too.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-06 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-06 Pub. Date: 2018-09-06
Image Number: 173882
Caption: Susan? Of all the haircuts I've ever had, which one was your favorite? Oh, that's easy. The high-top fade you had back in high school. That was amazing. Mine too. I went to Roscoe's Cuts to see if old Roscoe could do it, just like he did in the nineties. He said he's not sure my hair's thick enough to get up that high anymore. Oh. Well, there's nothin wrong with a low-top fade. He said it's almost time for a no-top fade.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-16 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-16 Pub. Date: 2018-07-16
Image Number: 172925
Caption: You think my latest story's going to get me in trouble? Candorville.com. Exclusive! Journalist who may or may not be me breaks into Mayor Thump's top-secret refugee prison, exposes horrid conditions. Nah, I think you'll be fine. Cops pulled me over three times today. Coincidence. I was on skates.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-05 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-05 Pub. Date: 2017-09-05
Image Number: 162343
Caption: Do you know how know there's no god, Rosencrantz? Because we've been abandoned. Will eat for food. I once spun a top, Tyrone. I spun it and I walked away. How it fell, I have no idea. But I know this: An intelligent being spun that top. I thought you said you spun that top. Don't resent me just because I just blew your mind.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-16 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-16 Pub. Date: 2017-07-16
Image Number: 159772
Caption: Cool shirt. You gonna watch the new Star Trek tv show? No way! It's a horrible show and it's going to fail! What? Why? All the angriest people on the internet agree with me. It looks to much like J.J. Abrams' J.J. - Trek nonsense … It's a scam to distract from CBS suing fan film creators ... O ... K ... it looks too advanced to be a prequel, the bridge is on the bottom of the saucer and not the top, the Klingons look stupid ... O ... K ... I guess I can ... There are too many minorities on it ... it's on CBS All Access instead of on broadcast or Netflix ... Wait ... What?! I shouldn't have to pay $6 month and watch it where they want me to watch it. They should give it to me how I want it! Didn't you just get all racist for a second? It should be free. It shouldn't force "diversity" down my throat. I should be able to see it on the channel I want to see it on. There! Right there! You just did it again!
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-04 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-04 Pub. Date: 2017-06-04
Image Number: 158134
Caption: I've never been in here before. What's your best drink? That'd be the Gambler's Mocha. Sounds interesting. What's in it? Oh … a little of this, a little of that. For all you know, it's a smooth blend of hand-mixed Amedei Porcelana dark chocolate from Tuscany ... and Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee beans, hand-picked by sherpas 5,000 feet above sea level precisely at sunset ... topped with a light whip of frozen Arctic sea foam, and black diamond cream from Dubai ... for all you know ... Or it could be day-old sludge made with tap water from Flint? I thought you said you'd never been here before. Siri, where's the nearest Starbucks?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-19 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-19 Pub. Date: 2017-04-19
Image Number: 157014
Caption: Fairness & Accuracy in Reporting surveyed the five top newspapers in America after our attack on Syria. They found that the papers ran 18 opinion pieces about the attack. Guess how many of them were opposed to it? And how many mentioned it was illegal? I'm guessing it was less than 18. It was zero. What I win? I was right, so do I win somethin'? You win a military industrial journalism complex.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-13 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-13 Pub. Date: 2016-07-13
Image Number: 145818
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I always ask myself one question when I cover a politician in my own party. "What would I think if this person were in the opposing party?" People are hypocrites, Susan. We tend to give a pass to people in our own parties. But I'm a journalist: I have an obligation to be candid. Even if it causes people to stop visiting my blog. So ... you're thinking of writing an article about Clinton? That's an awfully strong grip you have there.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-04 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-04 Pub. Date: 2015-10-04
Image Number: 132818
Caption: Clyde, have you seen my vintage 1980s Flash Gordon tank top? Your what? It was one of the last survivors of a more enlightened age … when real men weren't afraid to wear loose-fitting tank tops and bright, colorful booty shorts. I've been saying them all my life, for when that comes back in style. Ok, what gon' happen now is, you gonna back up about five feet ... an' I'm gonna forget this conversation ever happened. Give me back my booty shorts!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-04 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-04 Pub. Date: 2015-09-04
Image Number: 131902
Caption: Sell us your blog and come back to work for us, Lemont, and we'll set up a day-care service for your son. The Candorville Chronicle. And that's on top of the raise, the profit-sharing, the parking spot and the corner office. Editor-in-Chief. If you're offering me all that, you must see a lot of growth potential for my blog. Maybe that's a sign I should just see where it takes me. Is it that you've gotten used to working in your underwear? Because if so, I'm sure we can ... Yeah, definitely a sign.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-30 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-30 Pub. Date: 2015-08-30
Image Number: 131280
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was just thinking about how the oceans make up two-thirds of our planet. And most of the underwater world is basically unexplored. We have no idea what or who may be living down there, Susan. What does it matter? We've been here for hundreds of thousands of years. If there's anyone down there, they obviously don't want to meet us. We don't know that. What if they're just as clueless as we are? What if they've just never thought to explore what's at the top of the water and don't even know life exists up here? There could be a whole civilization of mer-bears who think they're the paragon of animals. That's just silly, Lemont. Would a mer-bear be silly for wondering if there are air-fish at the top of the water?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-10 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-10 Pub. Date: 2015-06-10
Image Number: 128069
Caption: What do you think of The X-Files coming back, Clyde? You gonna watch it? Nah, bruh, there was a time an' place for that spit, an' this ain't it no more. Back then, trenchcoats was cool. That was before Columbine. Back then, secret government conspiracies was just fiction. That was before Edward Snowman. Back then, you had a high-top fade and parachute pants. Now you ain't got no hair an' you make regular pants look like parachute pants. I've only gained 30 pounds!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-15 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-15 Pub. Date: 2015-04-15
Image Number: 125564
Caption: Sorry I dunked on you in front of your little boy, Big L. That be insensitive right there. An' I'm sorry I swatted that ball from out your hand in front of your baby boy every single time you tried to take a shot. That was wrong too. An' I'm sorry I pulled your shirt up over the top of yo' head in front of your boy when I won, Big L. Are you sorry you keep reminding me of all that in front of my little boy? Not really.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-09 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-09 Pub. Date: 2014-11-09
Image Number: 118031
Caption: What brings you to therapy? I feel like everyone's out to get me, because I'm the top dog. I'm the Tony Soprano. The Gus Fring. The Nino Brown. The other day, Thanksgiving, Halloween and Groundhog Day ate pasta e fagioli in a private booth at Whole Foods. They were conspiring to knock me off! My own lieutenants betrayed me after all I've done for them! I have eyes everywhere! Don't they know this? I'll just check the box next to "paranoid delusions." Those traitors are about to find out "coal" is just a euphemism.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-25 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-25 Pub. Date: 2014-09-25
Image Number: 116764
Caption: My Mac broke down, and I replaced it with a PC, and now I regret it. You should, dawg. Why you didn’t come to me? I coulda hooked you up. I know a guy. He an' I done a lot of business. He coulda set you up with a top-of-the-line system for cheap. Long as you ain't ask too many questions. Would I get a credit for what I'd end up spending on my bail? (A) Don't stereotype, bruh ... an' (2) Yes.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-15 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-15 Pub. Date: 2014-08-15
Image Number: 114929
Caption: You ever think about how what you have in your hand totally changes how people see you? If you fling open someone's door at work or school, they think you're trouble. But if you're holding a walkie-talkie they think you're there to protect them. If you're standing on a rooftop, people think you're taking in the view. But if you're holding binoculars, they think you're a pervert. I told you not to bring those. Pretty sure that guy yelling "ivoy a llamar al 911!" wasn't a good thing.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-03 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-03 Pub. Date: 2014-08-03
Image Number: 113943
Caption: I'm glad to be home, Murph. Aren't you glad to be home? Quiet, Jules. I'm just saying, this is much better than the trash can in the German chancellor's bathroom. I said quiet! You talk too much, Jules. That's the problem. In my day, we knew how to be covert. We were all that stood between the Republic and its enemies. We were a ghost. We were neither confirmed nor denied. We were everywhere and nowhere, Jules. Everywhere ... and nowhere. Can you say that in 140 characters, so I can quote you? That'd make a good tweet. I've already got like 723,000 followers. The Republic is doomed.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-25 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-25 Pub. Date: 2014-05-25
Image Number: 111144
Caption: Case #17700503-A: Lemont Brown. Compiled by Federal Agent Eugene O. Murphy. Cried. 9:43 am - Declined a shave despite having noticeable stubble. Possible evidence of nascent Islamo-beard. Warrants further surveillance. Asked for high-top … bald? Department of Homeland Security
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-26 top 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-26 Pub. Date: 2014-01-26
Image Number: 106177
Caption: What was that? I said "What's your latest article about, Lemont?" Seriously? Yeah, just kinda sum it up for me. Susan … I researched it for five months. I interviewed dozens of bystanders and triple-sourced everything they said. I interviewed all the key figures in this scandal: President Obama, Kim Jong Un, Carrot Top ... Then I locked myself in my apartment for a WEEK, painstakingly crafting it into a nuanced, fascinating story ... ... But you can't spend five MINUTES reading it? You want me to "just kinda sum it up" for you?! Not really, I was just being polite.
     
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