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The Thousand Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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21. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-12 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172213
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
22. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-12 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172241
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
23. Comic Strip Mike Twohy  That's Life 2007-12-07 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Twohy
Comic/Cartoon: That's Life
Viewable Date: 2018-06-04 Pub. Date: 2007-12-07
Image Number: 15384
Caption: Jim Conroy - in for my six thousand mile check-up.
     
24. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2018-04-15 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170737
Caption: I procrastinated and need to work on my taxes today. They're due this week. Doing your taxes is like playing golf. The rules for both are very complex. With taxes and golf I incur huge penalties for going out of bounds. And sometimes it seems like everybody else is cheating. Well, it looks like I owe thousands! I never get to take any deductions in golf or taxes. The final number in both is huge and somehow it all seems unfair!
     
25. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2018-04-07 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2018-04-07 Pub. Date: 2018-04-07
Image Number: 170051
Caption: What're you listening to, grampa? Tony Bennett, my favorite singer. Here, have a listen. What do you think? DO you like it? Nope. That's a good way to get disinherited from my multi-thousand penny estate!
     
26. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-21 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-21 Pub. Date: 2018-03-21
Image Number: 169628
Caption: Is it all just a waste of time? I don't know what you mean, bruh. I wrote an article called Mr. President, if you want to look like you're Russia's stooge, firing your Secretary of State right after he strongly criticizes Russia is a great way to do it. Just seconds after I posted it, thousands of people attacked me on Twitter, and I've been debating them ever since. But now I'm not sure any of them were actual people. If they was actual people, they'da tuned you out after that long-@#$ headline, like I did.
     
27. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2018-03-21 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2018-03-21 Pub. Date: 2018-03-21
Image Number: 169401
Caption: When I was a kid there were only three tv channels … Click … and always something worth watching … now there's thousands of channels and nothing worth watching. Click click click click click click.
     
28. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2018-03-08 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2018-03-08 Pub. Date: 2018-03-08
Image Number: 169172
Caption: A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thousands of dollars.
     
29. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2018-03-07 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2018-03-07 Pub. Date: 2018-03-07
Image Number: 169000
Caption: You rally shouldn't frown, Earl. I read somewhere that every two thousand frowns create one new wrinkle. I decided to hang around for a couple more weeks if that's okay, Opal. Of course, Pearl. See? There's another wrinkle! Plink!
     
30. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2018-02-04 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 166972
Caption: You read a lot of book, don't you, grampa? Yep. I've probably read thousands of them in my lifetime. But the sad thing is I've forgotten most of what I've read. It makes me kind of wonder what's the point of reading all those books. I've eaten a lot of food in my life too ... but most of it has stayed with me.
     
31. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2018-02-04 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167205
Caption: You read a lot of books, don't you, grampa? Yep. I've probably read thousands of them in my lifetime. But the sad thing is I've forgotten most of what I've read. It makes me kind of wonder what's the point of reading all those books. I've eaten a lot of food in my life too ... but most of it has stayed with me.
     
32. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2018-01-18 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2018-01-18 Pub. Date: 2018-01-18
Image Number: 166948
Caption: An Eiffel was a horrid boss! Manipulative! Abusive! Evil! And she's a scam artist! She pocketed thousands tonight! This is who my dad's dating?! We need to tell the Degroots! We need to call the police! I need to bring down Ann Eiffel …
     
33. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-13 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-13 Pub. Date: 2018-01-13
Image Number: 167109
Caption: Boss, I have a suggestion for you that win-win. It'll save you thousands of dollars in health insurance premiums. Listening … If you pay to have me cryogenically frozen and then thawed every other day, I'll get to live to be 180, and you'll get an employee who's young and productive for the rest of your life. Ignoring. Don't you want to sleep on it?
     
34. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-01-07 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-01-07 Pub. Date: 2018-01-07
Image Number: 166110
Caption: C'mon in! Looking to shred a few pounds? Actually I was looking to "shed" a few pounds. We don't do that anymore. Say hello to the "XS-U Shredder" two, two-thousand grit sandpaper rolls that remove those love handles in minutes! Rrrr!! Yaaaaah!!!! That unsightly gut is reduced to a fine powder that is then recycled into a high performance protein shake! Can I do it without the shake? No. What flavor? Chocolate, vanilla or Axe for Men.
     
35. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2017-11-14 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2017-11-14 Pub. Date: 2017-11-14
Image Number: 164662
Caption: Look at the image on this piece of toast. It looks like Elvis! We could sell this on eBay for a thousand bucks!!! Ralph, this looks like Elvis Costello. Oh … then maybe a buck and a half.
     
36. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2017-11-09 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2017-11-09 Pub. Date: 2017-11-09
Image Number: 164512
Caption: Cable's a racket so I cut it. We pay for thousands of programs and don't even know what they are … I watched a month of "Pawn Stars" before I realized it was about pawn shops.
     
37. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-05 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-05 Pub. Date: 2017-11-05
Image Number: 164017
Caption: What can I get you? The pumpernickel sriracha margarita mocha sounds good. Ok. Can I get you anything else, ma'am? Yes. An explanation of the Fermi paradox. Would you like the most common explanation, or the latest explanation? The latest would be lovely. Despite knowing there are trillions of planets out there, we haven't seen any evidence of alien life because we're part of a simulation. We exist on the computer of someone living in a higher reality. The limits of our knowledge are dictated by the sophistication of the guy's program. He's been steadily upgrading the program. That's why the Hubble telescope "discovered" all those "old" galaxies, and that's why we've "discovered" thousands of new planets. We'll "discover" aliens as soon as the guy running our simulation gets around to installing the "alien life" expansion pack. I meant to ask for that "to go."
     
38. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-27 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-27 Pub. Date: 2017-10-27
Image Number: 164163
Caption: Some people think there's a "second species" living secretly with us who aren't homo sapiens. What are you talking about, little buddy? They say it's a cone-headed species called "homo capensis." They say this secret species controls our banks and religions ... so they can divide and conquer up, so we'll be too busy hating each other to notice them. HOJ. Mankind has been coming up with excuses for its own failings for thousands of years, little buddy. That's probably exactly what the coneheads would want us to do.
     
39. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-17 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-17 Pub. Date: 2017-10-17
Image Number: 163916
Caption: I can't believe blade runner 2049 flopped so hard, Randy. I can, little buddy. It was amazing. It was beautifully done. But it was fifteen thousand hours long. At the 2.5 hour mark, your eye starts to wander. You start thinking about other movies. You think maybe you rushed into this one and you're just settling. Are we still talking about movies? You think of sneaking into a different one.
     
40. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2017-10-10 thousand 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2017-10-10 Pub. Date: 2017-10-10
Image Number: 163714
Caption: I just made up that part. It should really throw people for a loop if they find this place thousands of years from now!
     
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