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Candorville

Comics about thoughts.

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341. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-18 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-18 Pub. Date: 2008-01-18
Image Number: 21207
Caption: You look happy. Good day fo' a thug rapper, Big L. But I thought you were depressed. I thought white folks in Iowa voting for Obama filled you with hope. I thought that hope made it impossible for you to go on profiting from black misery and despair. Yeh, but then I remembered black-on-black crime. That ALWAYS gon' be there.
     
342. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-02 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-02 Pub. Date: 2007-12-02
Image Number: 20099
Caption: When Republicans controlled Congress and Democrats kept blocking their legislation… …I thought the Democrats were wrong. I thought their job was to just vote on everything. I even used to chant "up or down vote, up or down vote" all the time. But now that Democrats control Congress and Republicans keep blocking THEIR legislation... ...I don't care. I haven't chanted "up or down vote" in months. You're afraid that makes you a hypocrite? I'm afraid my chant muscle has atrophied. I'm a shrink. Ear, nose & throat is across the hall.
     
343. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-09 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-09 Pub. Date: 2007-10-09
Image Number: 18867
Caption: Lemont Interviews Fox "News" Talking Head Bill O'Reilly. What's your reaction to those who'd say you're racist? I can't get over it. "Can't get over people saying he's racist." No, I mean I can't get over how you're not wearing any bling, or saying "Hey, M-fer" or anything. "O'Reilly became lost in something like thought..." You're just like a normal person.
     
344. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-22 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-22 Pub. Date: 2007-08-22
Image Number: 18334
Caption: Are you sure you want to marry my little Roxanne, Lemont? Why do you ask? I read your latest poem on your blog. Oh, the one about the pony who dreamt of being a horse? No, the one about a blogger who impregnates an evil witch, marries her, and then she and her demonic offspring nibble at his flesh for the next 18 years. I fail to see the connection. "...Not the fangs, Roxanne! Not the fangs!"
     
345. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-21 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-21 Pub. Date: 2007-07-21
Image Number: 17942
Caption: What'd you want to be back in elementary school, Susan? Huh? We were in school together. We were best friends! You should know this already. All those years I thought you were listening, but you weren't. I'm hurt, Lemont. What did I want to be? ...That's not the point.
     
346. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-20 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-20 Pub. Date: 2007-07-20
Image Number: 17941
Caption: I thought you were on a diet to get ready for your elementary school reunion. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. I'm not going, Susan. I looked at the other e-mail addresses on the invitation. They're things like "emily@nasa.gov" and "brandon@whitehouse.gov." They've all accomplished so much. Lemont, there's no reason to feel inadequate. "mitsy@brainsurgeon.com"
     
347. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-13 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-13 Pub. Date: 2007-06-13
Image Number: 17561
Caption: Scientists discovered a possible cure for baldness in mice. When they make a massive wound, the scar tissue that grows over it has new hair follicles. They think gaping head wounds could work for humans, too. Lemont, I'm still not smacking you in the head with this bat. I thought you were my friend.
     
348. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-31 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-31 Pub. Date: 2007-05-31
Image Number: 17384
Caption: Hello, I'm Mitt Romney. I'm running for president. Although I'm a Mormon, I can't imagine anything more awful than polygamy. Just thought you should know that. Wanna hear a good Mormon joke? Someone's over-compensating.
     
349. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-26 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-26 Pub. Date: 2007-05-26
Image Number: 17321
Caption: Have you told your "friend" Susan you're not allowed to talk to her anymore? Yes, dear. I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO HER ANYMORE! Wait. What? How could you?
     
350. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-25 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-18 Pub. Date: 2006-06-25
Image Number: 14155
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Fitzhugh? My wife. She got it into her think head there's something wrong with me. Just because I turn a bright shade of red and start pulling hy hair out and cussing whenever people talk about illegal immigrants. I see, and what happend when youhear about the national anthem being sung in Spanish? What?! How dare theygl-graarglargle gargle! Mm-hmm. Just as I thought. Foaming at the mouth. You'll be happy to know you're not alone. This may be an epidemic. WE SPEAK ENGLISH IN THIS COUNTRYAARGLE!
     
351. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-07 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-07 Pub. Date: 2007-05-07
Image Number: 17174
Caption: Don't eat the donut! Huh? Oh, hey, future me. How's it going? Hold that thought. Just lemme inject myself with insulin to stave off a deadly diabetic coma. So what you're saying is, "Don't eat the donut." If you don't want it, can I have it?
     
352. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-11 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-11 Pub. Date: 2007-04-11
Image Number: 16749
Caption: Kate, how's the latest patient the White House sent over? Worse than we thought, Doctor. It's not just amnesia, she also has aphasia. She has trouble compre-hending regular language. Watch… Ma'am, this presentation we found in your purse is called "How to ille-gally help the GOP take back Congress." That could mean anything. If only we'd gotten to her earlier.
     
353. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-15 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-15 Pub. Date: 2007-03-15
Image Number: 16394
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle I know what you're going through. One time I repeated a clever line from a movie… …and my friend thought I came up with it. Tech Support So I thought: do I tell her and risk her being disappointed in me, or do I let my friend believe a lie? Are you gonna tell me how to hack into some-body's Netflix account to make sure she can never rent "Clerks" or not? Telling the truth was embarrassing, but-- Thanks for nothing, Hank.
     
354. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-12 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-12 Pub. Date: 2007-03-12
Image Number: 16391
Caption: Penny for your thoughts, Lemont? The guy who restocked the Death Star's snack machines didn't have to die, Susan. Lando didn't care about the little people. I want a refund.
     
355. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-01 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-11 Pub. Date: 2007-03-01
Image Number: 16388
Caption: Fox's show about Obama started with shots of jumping Africans and ended with "Don't tell mama, I'm for Obama." How can you say that's not racist? Thought you'd never ask. What's this? My uncle gave me this book. Changed my whole life. "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others." Page 87: "That security guard's only following you to make sure nothing bad happens to you."
     
356. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-11 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-14 Pub. Date: 2007-02-11
Image Number: 16105
Caption: Saw your blog. Great article about eyestrain, Lemont. Thanks, Susan. Eyestrain's an underrated affliction. I miss writing fiction. I miss sending my dreams off to the publishers. Oh yeah? I used to lose myself in the words you created. Oh, yeah. And with people watching TV on their phones, it's only gonna get worse. But it's always "blindness this" or "glaucoma that." But every rejection was like to sadistic fingers snuffing out the sun. Eyestrain is the black sheep of the eye-affliction family. If I just write about today's news and people hate it, it doesn't mean they hate me. It just means they hate the news. You don't say. You're such a wuss. I do say. I know.
     
357. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-28 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-29 Pub. Date: 2007-01-28
Image Number: 15955
Caption: Y'know, when I was a kid I thought Eudora meddled in Darrin and Samantha's life, causin' trouble outta spite. I hated her. Thought she was nuts. Evil. But the other day, I looked at it all again, and man … I agreed with every last word Eudora said. She was all about the importance of being honest and true to oneself, while Darrin was selfishly trying to force Samantha to deny here true nature just 'cause he was insecure. Suddenly I realized it was Darrin who was wrong all along, not Eudora. And then it struck me. Susan: I really have matured. Not if you measure maturity by how you react to "Bewitched." Darrin Stevens could learn a thing or two from Major Nelson.
     
358. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-26 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-26 Pub. Date: 2007-01-26
Image Number: 15918
Caption: So, what happened when you confronted Clyde about selling drugs? It wasn't exactly what we thought, Susan. Huh? He said he was selling a product to lift people's spirits. Stuff nobody wanted to be seen buying. Yeh, whatchgot, whatchagot? Tsk, "Best of Broadway," @#$%. I got some "Lion King." I got "Grease." you got any "Chorus Line" up in there?
     
359. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-24 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-24 Pub. Date: 2007-01-24
Image Number: 15909
Caption: Oh dear lord, Susan. I think I have to turn my best friend in to the police. Why? What' I do? No, no, no, it's Clyde. He's selling drugs in that alley over that way. Dios mio. I can't believe this, Lemont. I know. It's so disappointing. Yeah. I thought I was your best friend.
     
360. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-12-23 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-12-28 Pub. Date: 2006-12-23
Image Number: 15618
Caption: Y'know when those guys mimicked Clyde and me, taped it and uploaded it to Youtube, it bothered me. I mean, it was a total invasion of privacy. But the more I thought about it, the more flattered I got. The more important I felt. Just don't let it go to your head, dude. You will address me as "Mr. Brown."
     
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