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Candorville

Comics about thoughts.

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321. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-12 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-12 Pub. Date: 2008-11-12
Image Number: 28012
Caption: Federal Agent Murph, what do you mean the terrorist I turned in never escaped? You had me go into hiding! I thought I was about to die! I had no choice. The wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or "American Idol." So naturally I scared you into hiding and then moved into your apartment. I don't think "naturally" means what you think it means. Of course, I ate your pop-tarts.
     
322. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-11 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-11 Pub. Date: 2008-11-11
Image Number: 28011
Caption: When you told me I need to work on my people skills, it got to me. ME. Hard-nosed Federal Agent Murph. So I thought "Why not start with HONESTY?" Remember the time I told you that Al-Qaida terrorist you turned in escaped and was hunting you? Mmble. Huh? I SAID "UNTIE ME AND LET ME GO, YOU FASCIST, JACKBOOTED THUG!" Oh, I thought you said "Thanks for the ride home." Anyway, I may have exaggerated a teensy bit.
     
323. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-05 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-05 Pub. Date: 2008-11-05
Image Number: 27820
Caption: The Starbucks at the end of the world. Refuge for the lost and abandoned. You say you abandoned your wife and son? Yeah, but that don't explain why I been here the last thirty-some years. I think it does. Your son lost you, but you lost much more. Who we are lives on through our kids. But you left. You lost your legacy. You lost immortality. That's deep. I thought so. Deeply stupid.
     
324. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-01 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-01 Pub. Date: 2008-11-01
Image Number: 27643
Caption: So John McCain never left you behind in Vietnam? No. I came here of my own accord after the divorce. I caught him in bed with dishonor. Embracing those who had attacked his wife and baby. Implying his opponent was a terrorist-sympathizer with inappropriate thoughts about kindergarteners. Spending the entire month of September approving campaign ads that blatantly lied. Letting his running mate incite hate at her rallies. So, I divorced him. I became a salmon, swimming upstream to the place where I was born. I take it you got custody of the metaphors. Let me know when you decide to rant, and I'll come over and interrupt.
     
325. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-16 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-16 Pub. Date: 2008-10-16
Image Number: 27401
Caption: Vietnam. 5 klicks up the Nodung River. What's in there? Something moved. Back to the boat, Brown. Quick! Wait, I think I can see-- AAAAAAAHH!!! Hand-carve tiger sculpture. You buy? Oh. Heh. I thought… Never mind. How much? Two bucks? Five? 148 dollar. AAAHH!!! The dollar isn't what it used to be. Tried to warn you.
     
326. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-15 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-15 Pub. Date: 2008-10-15
Image Number: 27400
Caption: Anderson Cooper, I don't even know what I'm doing here in Vietnam. I guess I thought being an embedded journalist might make my dad proud enough to finally contact me. I have an idea, Brown. Let's stand around in enemy territory and have a heartfelt talk about your abandonment issues. I thought that's what we were already doin-- Move out, Brown!
     
327. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-03 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-03 Pub. Date: 2008-10-03
Image Number: 27048
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal: Day Four… Boot Camp almost over. Can you believe we're going to be embedded journalists? I look at the innocent faces. Kids, soon to be men. Hey, how come you never answer me? I don't dare get too close to them. Don't dare feel. Anything. Is this 'cause I took the top bunk? Awful truth is, some of them won't make it out of here alive.
     
328. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-29 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-29 Pub. Date: 2008-09-29
Image Number: 27044
Caption: Note to self: been kidnapped. Darkness. Fear. Who are they? What do they want? Well, a little help with the gas would be nice. …Fed… Federal Agent Murph? Surprise! Heard you were gonna be an embedded journalist, so I thought I'd give you a ride to media boot camp. YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR PEOPLE SKILLS! What? Ropes too tight?
     
329. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-20 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-20 Pub. Date: 2008-09-20
Image Number: 26783
Caption: What do you mean I can't fire Dick Fink? He patched my private phone conversation into the office intercom! Now everyone knows all my intimate stuff! Yes… But on the other hand, it was very, very funny. I… I'm speechless. That's odd, I thought I just heard you say something.
     
330. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-17 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-17 Pub. Date: 2008-09-17
Image Number: 26780
Caption: Maybe your boyfriend, Phil Anders, was joking about being married, but maybe not. Dana? I don't remember telling you about Phil. Have you thought of talking to him about this? Or at least hiring thugs to beat the truth out of him? What does "at least" mean on your planet? At least try your stun gun on him.
     
331. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-25 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-25 Pub. Date: 2008-08-25
Image Number: 26237
Caption: Big L, you a "sensitive" dude. Uh… Thanks? Say I got this friend named big… Al. Say I saw some dude sneakin' in an' out Big Al's woman's house at 2 AM. Say I got a reason to believe dude is really the father of the kid Big L… AL… thought was his. What's a "sensitive" way to tell big Al? WELL THAT'S NOT IT!!!
     
332. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-27 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-27 Pub. Date: 2008-07-27
Image Number: 25218
Caption: What have I done? What you had to do. What you always do… …Turn death into a fighting chance to live. Yeah! Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Huh? Oh. Sorry, don’t' mind me. I'm you 24 years from now. I just thought I'd travel back to a time when our dreams were exciting. In the future, we only dream about boring stuff like taxes, overdue bills, receding hairlines... NOOOOO!!! Search your feelings... You know it to be true.
     
333. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-13 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-13 Pub. Date: 2008-07-13
Image Number: 24970
Caption: DIVIDED AIRLINE. That'll be $95 for your+A2 checked bags, $5 for peanuts, and $14.50 for the in-flight movie. WHAT?! Fuel costs are killing us. We've gotta make it up somehow. (Sigh) Ok, two questions: (A) Why not just raise the ticket prices instead of acting shady, and (B)... When did I start dreaming about this kind of thing? I remember when I used to dream about spaceships and hot women and dragons and stuff. ...And it'll be $5 if you want orange juice. YOU'RE NOT HELPING!
     
334. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-24 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-24 Pub. Date: 2008-06-24
Image Number: 24478
Caption: Aaarchie, what are you doing home. It's only 2 o'clock! They laid me off, Edith. Didn't like my latest whatchacall… invention. But I thought your "Michelle Obama called White people 'Whitey'" invention was brilliant, Arch. That, Edith is 'cause you are what they call "obsolete." What's "obsolete"? That's French for "dingbat."
     
335. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-21 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-21 Pub. Date: 2008-06-21
Image Number: 24240
Caption: "Everything is made of energy." Quantum Theory. "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed." First Law of Thermodynamics. If the soul is made of energy, then it can't be destroyed when we die. Is boredom made of energy? Well, it's a function of the brain, and the brain's made of en-- Shut up and go to sleep!
     
336. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-06 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-06 Pub. Date: 2008-06-06
Image Number: 23875
Caption: What did you say, Susan? I said "It's late, I'd better call my boyfriend Phil." Oh. I thought you said "I love you." No, I’m pretty sure I said "It's late, I'd better call my boyfriend Phil." Oh. OK. …But that doesn't sound anything like "I love you." Are you calling me a love you?!
     
337. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-03-18 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-03-18 Pub. Date: 2008-03-18
Image Number: 22408
Caption: Avast! Who goes there? Relax, Mr. Nast. I'm Lemont Brown. I was drifting off to sleep, and I thought, "imagine if I could go back to 1865 and get someone in the media to write a story… "…about how Abraham Lincoln needs better security. Might change everything. Are you a demon, or an illusion brought on by ginger-pop and porridge?
     
338. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-03-06 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-03-06 Pub. Date: 2008-03-06
Image Number: 22135
Caption: I have to tell you, Lemont, I’m offended. Zzz… Why didn't you just ask me why the Secret Service didn't check the whole crowd for weapons at an Obama rally in Dallas? I thought we were close. Click. Wha-- who's there? What're you doing here? Federal Agent Murph, and that's classified. I so can't wait until 2009.
     
339. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-19 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-19 Pub. Date: 2008-02-19
Image Number: 21846
Caption: Mr. D., what're you doing here? Are Roxanne and the baby ok? Be cool, dawg. Ah was just chillin' in da hood wit' my homie Saxon. Ah peeped yo' crib from my caddie an' thought, we gon' bum rush mah futah son-in-law an' drop a couple of forties. What? Speak English. Mr. Dubois... is my best friend... in the world... ...dawg.
     
340. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-18 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-18 Pub. Date: 2008-02-18
Image Number: 21845
Caption: Rox, you've gotta tell your pops I don't care that he called me your "Black boyfriend." …And that I know he didn't mean anything by it. Why should I tell him that? I just happened t'be cruisin' through the ghetto with my homeboy Saxon, and I thought, why not stop in and say what up? ...No reason.
     
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