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Candorville

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221. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-11 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-11 Pub. Date: 2012-10-11
Image Number: 88328
Caption: Where your kid at, Big L? I thought you was bringing him over to watch TV. He was tired so I put him to sleep in your bedroom. Oh. Another stereotype bites the dust. Thug 4 Life. Say, does Lionel know how to snoop through closets and report people to police? Another stereotype bites the dust. Thug 4 Life. Why do you ask? Just making conversation. Another stereotype bites the dust. Thug 4 Life.
     
222. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-07 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-07 Pub. Date: 2012-10-07
Image Number: 87890
Caption: You ever thought of rapping in haiku? Nah. Thug 4 Life. I'd rather rap right here. Here is closer. What? What? Thug 4 Life. I ain't goin' to Asia. Huh? What? Listen … I wrote a rap for you in haiku. What? You ain't never been to Asia either, Big L. Who you foolin'? Haiku is poetry, Clyde. I don't care how beautiful it is, I ain't goin'! Thug 4 Life.
     
223. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-01 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-01 Pub. Date: 2012-10-01
Image Number: 88010
Caption: Back in the day, a man would dress like a man. A man would wear a suit and a hat, an' that was just his pajamas. You ever thought of wearing a hat? What did you do? Nothing.
     
224. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-23 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-23 Pub. Date: 2012-08-23
Image Number: 86185
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was looking forward to 2013's "Star Trek 2" film. … But then I realized: When I watch it, I'll be a whole year older. When did I start feeling bad about the thought of being a year older? Look on the bright side … I'll still be a year younger than you.
     
225. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-11 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-11 Pub. Date: 2012-08-11
Image Number: 85364
Caption: What do you love most. Toast. I know what you gonna say, Big L … "How can you be sure you love the toast, an' not the bitter on the toast. Well … Some things you just know. I thought maybe you'd say "my friends." Thug 4 Life. Why would I love your friends? You got awful taste in friends. Good talk, Clyde. Thug 4 Life.
     
226. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-12 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-12 Pub. Date: 2012-07-12
Image Number: 51941
Caption: She's crazy! She's been scaring me spitless for YEARS. Have not. Very few SCIENTISTS BELIEVE AIDS MAY or may not HAVE MUTATED INTO AN AIRBORNE VIRUS!!! HOLDing YOUR BREATH is not necessary! You forgave me for that! You can't keep throwing that in my face! And what was all that mess about asteroids blowing up the Earth? I thought we moved past that. (This cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
227. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-03 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-03 Pub. Date: 2012-07-03
Image Number: 83012
Caption: Everything was going fine with the guy from Date-A-Dude. Till he asked for my number. I thought he was gonna call to ask me out. But he TEXTED me. So what? It's 2012. What'd you expect him to do, wear tights and a feather and serenade you from the steps of your castle? I expected a phone call. Dream on, princess.
     
228. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-12 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-12 Pub. Date: 2012-06-12
Image Number: 81849
Caption: You don’t look too good Clyde. You look like you're about to throw up. Either that, or you're deep in sorrowful, thoughtful reflection about man's inhumanity toward man. Man's what? Who give a dohgawd … … That's breakfast. That's what I thought.
     
229. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-22 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-22 Pub. Date: 2012-05-22
Image Number: 81178
Caption: My blog gets 75,000 unique visitors every day, Clyde. But nobody's clicking on the ads, so all that traffic is actually costing me money. Well, have you thought of tracking down the readers an' threatening them? Good talk, Clyde. Plus it's a good way to get to know your readers.
     
230. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-11 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-11 Pub. Date: 2012-05-11
Image Number: 80535
Caption: Ever thought of getting a dog? Good idea. I've always wished I had a furry thing trying to steal my food. And you know what my brand new couch needs? Something that'll pee on it. You know what'd really make my day complete? Wandering the streets twice a day looking at a butt at the end of a rope.
     
231. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-10 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-10 Pub. Date: 2012-05-10
Image Number: 80534
Caption: Did I just spit on his face while I was talking? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. She just spit on my face while she was talking. Did he notice? Her single drop of spit is sitting on my nose, taunting me. If I just keep talking, he'll forget about it. If I wipe it off, she'll think I think she's disgusting. Maybe he didn't notice. Gaaaa!!! It burns!!!
     
232. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-07 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-07 Pub. Date: 2012-04-07
Image Number: 78537
Caption: You know the worst thing about the Trayvon Martin killing? The way people started tripping all over themselves to pretend it wasn't racial, and to make him look like the villain just because he wore a hoodie and made some typical dumb teenage mistakes. Or maybe the worst part is that that's what America always does when it comes to victims like Trayvon. Oh, I thought the worst part is that Trayvon is gone. Um ... That too.
     
233. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-11 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-11 Pub. Date: 2012-03-11
Image Number: 76814
Caption: I notice you ain't bought my new cd yet. I thought you was supposed to be my friend, Big L. Dang. You know what, Clyde? You're absolutely right. I mean, that'd be just as bad as if, hypothetically speaking, I had written five books over the last few years ... including a new on called "Run! Vampires, Werewolves, the One That Got Away; and Other Demons ... " And you didn't buy any of them. Hypothetically speaking. Glad you agree. I accept cash, cash or cash. Thug 4 life. Dawn. By Butler.
     
234. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-25 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-25 Pub. Date: 2012-02-25
Image Number: 76742
Caption: Have you ever thought that in the hundreds and thousands of years man has been here … We've only heard the best singers of the last 100 or so? For all we know, there was an ancient Mesopotamian donkey-herder whose voice could make the angels weep. But we'll never, ever hear her because time screwed her out of a recording contract. I don't think they "herded" donkeys. No, I googled it. Donkeys were all ever ancient Mesopotamia.
     
235. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-18 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-18 Pub. Date: 2012-02-18
Image Number: 76408
Caption: What's wrong? The appeals court declared California's proposition 8 unconstitutional. I thought you'd be thrilled about that. When the AP app on my iPhone first told me, I thought "Right on." A half hour later, the MSNBC app on my phone told me the same thing. And I thought "Man, you guys are slow. That's old news." America's attention span is dead, Susan. And we wonder why newspapers are dying. 30 minutes might as well be a whole week.
     
236. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-16 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-16 Pub. Date: 2012-02-16
Image Number: 76406
Caption: Lamont interviews Syrian dictator Bashir Al-Assad for his blog. Hummusville Syrian Cuisine. Has it occurred to you that your people just aren't that into you? I mean, if you have to slaughter people in order to lead them, maybe they're trying to tell you it's over. But instead of moving on, you keep calling and texting and bombing. Doesn't that feel a little, pathetic? A little. Have you thought of looking for other countries to lead?
     
237. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-13 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-13 Pub. Date: 2012-02-13
Image Number: 76403
Caption: You look happy. I scored a major interview for my blog. A really important person. In my time at the Chronicle, I must have become a bigger name than I thought. Or maybe they think you still work for the paper. Nah. Did you tell them this was for the paper or your blog? Why bother important people with unimportant details?
     
238. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-05 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-05 Pub. Date: 2012-02-05
Image Number: 75448
Caption: I'm thinking of coming out, Susan. I've been keeping it a secret since … Forever. I guess I've been ashamed. But that's selfish of me. To spare myself the social stigma, I've been living a lie. But that just reinforces the idea that it's wrong for people like me to be how we are. It's important for each of us to speak up, to say who we are, because there's safety in numbers. When people realize they know one of us ... ... Then all of a sudden we don't seem so weird or scary or ... wrong. After all these years ... It's time for me to admit I thought Star Trek: Voyager was a great show. Dios Mio, nobody cares about Star Track. TREK!
     
239. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-01 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-01 Pub. Date: 2012-02-01
Image Number: 75826
Caption: What do you mean you have nothing for me? You majored in liberal arts … Jobville Employment Agency. … Which doesn't qualify you for the jobs that are still out there. You should've thought ahead, like I did. Identified growth industries and majored in one of them. What did you major in? Unemployment counseling. With a minor in post-apocalyptic foraging.
     
240. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-25 thought 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-25 Pub. Date: 2012-01-25
Image Number: 75719
Caption: I'm tired of liberals saying republicans are playing political games, just because we're requiring voters to show IDs. I mean, sure, blacks are far less likely to have state-issued IDs. And sure, you need a birth certificate to get one, and the poor can't easily afford that. And sure, plenty of elderlies couldn't buy one even if they could afford it, because the state lost their certificates decades ago. ... And sure, all those demographics are likely to vote democrat. What was I saying? Lost my train of thought.
     
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