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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-13 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-13 Pub. Date: 2019-07-13
Image Number: 178425
Caption: Did you see that video where important world leaders are talking at the G-20 … and wondering why the heck Donald Trump's daughter is trying to be part of their conversation? It triggered me. It brought back that time in college where I found myself at the same party with Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela. I interjected with a pretty enlightening Sanford and Son analogy, and things got awkward. Why is you still talkin'?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-03 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-03 Pub. Date: 2019-07-03
Image Number: 178392
Caption: Other day, some grown-#$% man in a business suit rolled over my foot on one of them scooters. You always say grown people look ridiculous on those things. So what'd you do? I rented a scooter too an' chased his @!#$ down. Chased him into his office building's elevator. You sure you weren't just looking for an excuse to ride a scooter? When we got up to the 55th floor, I chased him to his office.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-30 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-30 Pub. Date: 2019-06-30
Image Number: 178274
Caption: I'm unpoor! You're what? You're looking at an employed man. After seven years of unemployment, I just got a job at Walmart. It pays slightly more than minimum wage. Congrats. The first thing I'm going to do with my newfound wealth is buy a new pair of boxers. I haven't bought a new pair of boxers since 2012. America is great again, baby!
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-26 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-26 Pub. Date: 2019-06-26
Image Number: 178257
Caption: As I was saying, you can't call what we have concentration camps because that diminishes what happened in the Holocaust. Never again means never again will we let people commit genocide. I always thought it meant never again will we let people even begin to do things that led to genocide ... like calling people an infestation and locking them in camps. You thought wrong.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-30 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-30 Pub. Date: 2019-05-30
Image Number: 177796
Caption: Hello, me. I'm you from the future. I've come back in time to ask you to write in your journal more often. You know all those incredible little moments and all those profound or funny things your little boy says that make you think I'll never forget that? Well guess what? You've forgotten them all. Also, make sure you write about butterflies, panda bears and our democracy. Zzzzz.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-28 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-28 Pub. Date: 2019-05-28
Image Number: 177794
Caption: Wachooneed, bruh? I got an encyclopedia, an almanac an' a walkman. What the … ? Nobody wants that stuff. Nobody's used any of those things in years. When most people want to get rid of old junk, they hold a garage sale. That's 'cause they amateurs. Whachoogot?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-19 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-19 Pub. Date: 2019-04-19
Image Number: 177224
Caption: Do you think I'm losing it, Susan? No, Lemont. I mean sure, you're not as philosophical as you were when we were kids … and you seem a lot grumpier … and you lose things a lot more … and you tell me stories I've heard before … but it's super premature to worry that you're going senile ... Still, you might want to get checked out. I was talking about my sex appeal.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-03 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-03 Pub. Date: 2019-04-03
Image Number: 177044
Caption: I saw your article where you looked at all the counties that held Trump rallies in 2016. Then you looked at hate crimes in those counties and compared them to similar counties that not host a Trump rally. You found that counties that hosted a rally saw a 226 percent increase in reported hate crimes over those that didn't host a rally. You are so divisive. I'm the divisiveness one? Yeah, it's one of those "if a tree falls in the woods and no one reports on it, did it really fall?" things.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-25 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-25 Pub. Date: 2019-03-25
Image Number: 176939
Caption: Did you know that every week, millions of people gather on social media and Youtube for one purpose … which is to bash Star Trek: Discovery. They go over every last detail that they hated about each week's episode. All these gigantic online crowds of people seem to agree on one thing. Which is? That nobody watches it.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-09 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-09 Pub. Date: 2019-03-09
Image Number: 176629
Caption: I've been reporting on people for half my life, now, Clyde. You mean snitchin'. What're you talking about? It's totally different. You ain't tellin' on people? Only thing people hate more than the kid who steal a cookie is the tattletale that come runnin' an' smilin' to tell on him. What did you do? Don't change the subject.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-02 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-02 Pub. Date: 2019-02-02
Image Number: 176036
Caption: Akron, OH, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I never signed up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When Great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth hear attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-25 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-25 Pub. Date: 2019-01-25
Image Number: 175944
Caption: 1984. Momma says she really likes Gary Hart. She says he's got new ideas, but she won't vote for him. Why not? She says the only thing that matters is picking whoever can beat Reagan. And the party seems to think that only Mondale can beat Reagan. I hope she's wrong. If Mondale clobbers Reagan, the next eight years are going to be rotten. Why, Lemont? You can't rhyme as many funny things with Monday as you can with Reagan.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-24 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-24 Pub. Date: 2019-01-24
Image Number: 175943
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I don't know what's happened to journalism? All the mainstream journalists went after me on Twitter. I wrote and article dissecting the voting records and the past actions of the people who CNN tells us are the Democratic frontrunners for the 2020 presidential nomination. How could you, Lemont! Now's not the time for that sort of thing. They accused me of being divisive ... and Russian.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-09 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-09 Pub. Date: 2019-01-09
Image Number: 175738
Caption: The universe is expanding so fast that in one trillion years, all evidence of the Big Bang will have disappeared from view. Oh wow. About 600 million years from now, earth will experience its very last solar eclipse. In less than 100 million years Saturn's rings will be gone. It's amazing that we live at exactly the right time to witness these things. That's a beautiful point, Lemont. You should stop there. In just one year, Game of Thrones will be over forever.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-25 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-25 Pub. Date: 2018-12-25
Image Number: 175585
Caption: My little boy was so happy when he woke up and saw all those gift-wrapped boxes with his name on them under the tree. Totally unrelated topic: Did you know that a lot of well-known concepts are lies? Like an apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's a lie ... and that thing about little kids not even caring if there's a toy ... and just being happy to play with empty boxes. That's a lie too. Dios mio, Lemont.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-18 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-18 Pub. Date: 2018-12-18
Image Number: 175480
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an other choice. I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it. (This cartoon was previously published on 2016-10-26)
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-14 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-14 Pub. Date: 2018-12-14
Image Number: 175379
Caption: PhD. M.A. Couple's therapy. Tell her I'm sick and tired of her telling you to tell me things she could tell herself.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-11 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-11 Pub. Date: 2018-12-11
Image Number: 175376
Caption: I just downloaded your Christmas album. Good man. How on earth did you create that obscene rap battle between you and him? I mean, did he actually say those things … or did you hire a voice actor? Computers, bruh. I went through his must an' rearranged vowels an' consonants an' what not. Thank god. I'd hate to think Nat King Cole ever even knew those words. The video was harder to make.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-09 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-09 Pub. Date: 2018-12-09
Image Number: 175062
Caption: I feel like I'm always the last one to know, doc. Dr. Noodle. Back in high school, I was in a band called Foss. I showed up expecting it to be a grunge thing. I said Hey, how come I'm the only one in flannel? How come no one else is wearing Doc Martens? Where are your goatees? Turned out it was a punk band. Anyway, fast forward to 2018: I run into a couple of the guys and we start to reminisce. I asked What ever happened to Beto? Turns out he became a politician. They all knew it. I was the last to know. Again. It's like I'm the universe's afterthought. You're talking about Beto O'Rourke? The one who just ran for Senate? Yeah. How'd he do? When's he get sworn in?
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-26 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-26 Pub. Date: 2018-11-26
Image Number: 175154
Caption: Scientists may find a cure for death around the year 2050. It would change everything if we never again had to lose anyone we loved. Of course, we'd also never again lose anyone we hated, either. I guess that's a small price to pay. The only thing that never dies is the futile quest for immortality.
     
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