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Candorville

Comics about testimonies.

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Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-17 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-17 Pub. Date: 2019-07-17
Image Number: 178561
Caption: Did you know comic strips are written weeks, sometimes months, in advance? Nope. Sometimes it leads to embarrassment. For instance, I was reading my favorite strip Bluntburg. It was lampooning the Robert Mueller testimony before Congress that was scheduled for today. How was the cartoonist to know weeks ago that Congress would be closed today because of a freak elephant stampede? Did that really happen today? Maybe.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-13 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-13 Pub. Date: 2018-12-13
Image Number: 175378
Caption: Come on … You can't blame me for losing the Nat King Cole lawsuit. You're the one who sampled his voice without permission for your album. You're the on who begged me to pretend I was a voice actor you'd hired to impersonate Nat King Cole. It wasn't my idea! I tried to lip sync to that testimony you recorded for me using his voice. I really tried! When you lip sync, ain't no sound s'posed to come out your mouth, fool. You ain't s'posed to harmonize with the recording. I got nervous.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-12 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-12 Pub. Date: 2018-12-12
Image Number: 175377
Caption: Member how I watch your boy for you? Well, I need a favor too right quick. You want me to watch your pet pigeon? Nah, bruh … I want you to testify that you a voice actor I hired to sound like Nat King Cole, 'cause Nat King Cole people suing me for sampling him in my album. I'll watch your pigeon. All you gotta do is up sync to the testimony I recorded for you usin' Nat King Cole voice.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-16 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-16 Pub. Date: 2017-05-16
Image Number: 158077
Caption: Lemont, we have need of you. What the -- Color-blinded. I am the harbinger, I'm … Here to warn me about a calamity threatening the entire multiverse. DC Comics' "Crisis on Infinite Earths," 1985. Oh … wait … this must be Earth Prime, where heroes only exist ... Heroes only exist as comic book characters or as dreams. Anyway, why are you in my dream? I was due to testify before Congress about President Trump's Russia ties, but Trump fired me. So I have some free time.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-11 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-11 Pub. Date: 2011-08-11
Image Number: 64169
Caption: Roxanne loves Lionel too. And she's rich. So why does he need me? Simple: I love him and he loves me ... but there's also the big picture, Judge. The social dynamics, set in motion by slavery's destruction of the black family unit ... have created a culture in which generations of black men have grown up estranged from our feathers. "Fathers," I mean. Sorry, I'm not used to saying that word. Objection, the petitioner is being a drama queen.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-10 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-10 Pub. Date: 2011-08-10
Image Number: 64168
Caption: Why should the court grant you custody of your son? Because I love him with all my heart. That's all you said. That's all that matters. How 'bout "I have a great job, I'm ambitious, I'm responsible, I've already planned for his future, and here's all the proof"? That would've been good too.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-09 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-09 Pub. Date: 2011-08-09
Image Number: 64167
Caption: "So don't worry, I can't testify against you"? No, even further back. "Your ex subpoenaed me. I'm supposed to talk about how you got me to impersonate you an' watch Lionel so you could go to a school reunion, while you ex was sick in bed"? No, forward a little. "I can't go within 500 feet of the courthouse 'cause they got a restraining order against me"? That's it ... say what?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-08 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-08 Pub. Date: 2011-08-08
Image Number: 64166
Caption: So you finally testified in court? Yeah, but not before Roxanne subpoenaed everyone and anyone who could say something bad about me. There was Reverend Wilfred. He puts an IOU in the collection plate every Sunday. Federal Agent Murph. And during the summer of 1982, he consorted with an unknown Iranian. I was seven! We were playing tag! He was from Van Nuys! And ... I don't want to talk about it. Many men who neglect their mothers can still be good fathers.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-05 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-05 Pub. Date: 2011-08-05
Image Number: 63975
Caption: It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, out of the swirling black clouds above, a freak lightning storm! I ducked into Groceryville to escape certain electrocution. Unfortunately, so did all the people who'd snuck out of the adjacent fat camp. The place was crowded. ... Except, obviously, for the produce aisle. Mr. Brown, all I asked was, "how did you allegedly meet Roxanne?" I'd have taken my chances in the snack aisle, if I'd known the pure, unadulterated evil - and the high prices - that were lying in store for me in produce.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-04 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-04 Pub. Date: 2011-08-04
Image Number: 63974
Caption: So how did your testimony go? Mr. Braun, is it not true that you were in a sanitarium for two weeks spouting nonsense and you're unfit to be a father. "Mr. Braun"? Um … my evil ex's lawyer didn't know who he was messing with. I'm sorry, it's "Brown," not "Braun." ... Sir. I sure set him straight. Yay, Lemont!!!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-22 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-22 Pub. Date: 2011-07-22
Image Number: 63530
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi, Lemont, I'm just checking in 'cause I haven't heard from you in a while. How are you, LB? Not so good. A witness testified in court that I told him I met an actual demon … It's true, I did. I told Susan about it, and she thinks I'm crazy. She doesn't believe me. Nobody believes me. I believe you, Lemont. Say what? I know we haven't seen each other in 16 years, but Lemont I remember you like we've never been apart. You're the smartest, most honest, most sane man I know. Anyone who doesn't believe you must not really know you. ... Not like I do. Man, why'd you to be happily married? Who said "happily"? Nothing bad can come of this.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-20 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-20 Pub. Date: 2011-07-20
Image Number: 63528
Caption: Why don't you want to tell me what that witness said in court? 'cause you won't believe me! Ever since we were kids! I tell you about things that really happen to me, and then you roll your eyes in disbelief. I'll believe you, Lemont, I promise. (sigh) ... Ok ... Lemont said he'd discovered the Mexican drug cartels were really zombie armies. With Doctor Noodle's help, Lemont seduced their commander, a demon named La Llorona: and got her to ... YOU'RE ROLLING YOUR EYES! Am not.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-19 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-19 Pub. Date: 2011-07-19
Image Number: 63527
Caption: My lawyer says I have to testify, because Benny Russell's testimony devastated my case. What did Mr. Russell say? I … I don't want to talk about it. What? Why not? Tell me! You don't want to know. Now I really have to know! Tell me! It's much too horrible to tlak about. Ok. Hey ... you're supposed to ask four times! It's the rule!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-14 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-14 Pub. Date: 2011-07-14
Image Number: 63190
Caption: You're gonna have to testify. Ok. That eyewitness testimony was really damaging. It made you look nuts. Like when he said you claimed you unleashed an ancient evil that'll end the world. You have to testify that it was just a euphemism for passing gas or something. I SAID I'm sorry already.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-30 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-30 Pub. Date: 2011-06-30
Image Number: 62674
Caption: Dr. Noodle, would you say Lemont Brown is insane, and therefore an unfit parent? You'll say Lemont is insane. Or I'll eat you. I'm Dr. Noodle. You're safe here. You can trust me. Lem … Lemont Brown is … … every bit as sane as I am.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-28 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-28 Pub. Date: 2011-06-28
Image Number: 62672
Caption: State yur name. Doctor Sigmund Mesmer Noodle. Do you solemnly swear an oath to tell the truth, so help you God? No. If I were going to lie, then I would be a liar. And if I were a liar, then my oath would be worthless. The real reason courts don't have therapists testify. Have you always sought empty promises from the people in your life, Judge?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-06 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-06 Pub. Date: 2011-05-06
Image Number: 60511
Caption: Don't worry, Lemont. I'm prepared for whatever your evil ex's lawyer says. The can call you neglectful, say you're abusive, a terrorist, poor, inadequate and slovenly. And a little fat around -- I GET IT! But I'm prepared for anything! I've got rebuttals! I've got expert testimony! I've got -- Your honor, Ms. Dubois has never even heard of this man before. ... I've got poopy pants. Me too.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-04 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-04 Pub. Date: 2011-05-04
Image Number: 60509
Caption: Your honor, I'd like to call character witnesses that'll attest to Lemont Brown's fitness as a parent. Later, counsel, first the court wishes to hear opening statements from my daughter's -- I mean, from the RESPONDENT'S lawyer. That's good, 'cause I couldn't find anybody who liked you enough to actually show up. ... Oh, did I say that out loud? Yes.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-16 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-16 Pub. Date: 2011-03-16
Image Number: 58578
Caption: Of course I'll come to your custody hearing tonight, Lemont. I mean, I AM spending every waking moment staving off the financial collapse of our paper, playing with my grandkids, and waiting for your long-overdue article about the Wisconsin union protests. But I think I can steal an entire evening away from my dying wife to sit in night court testifying on your behalf. Great! Be there at 10 p.m.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-15 testimony 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-15 Pub. Date: 2011-03-15
Image Number: 58577
Caption: Clyde … sure, you're a thug, and you make awful decisions. But you're also the only friend I have who's actually met Roxanne. The judge said my lawyer and I can't say anything bad about her in the custody hearing. But maybe as a witness, YOU could slip in some really underhanded, mean comments about her ... ... just to contrast the part where you talk about how ethical I am. That reasoning appeals to me. It does? Never mind, then.
     
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