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Candorville

Comics about testifying.

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Result page:    2  Next  (26 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-12 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-12 Pub. Date: 2018-12-12
Image Number: 175377
Caption: Member how I watch your boy for you? Well, I need a favor too right quick. You want me to watch your pet pigeon? Nah, bruh … I want you to testify that you a voice actor I hired to sound like Nat King Cole, 'cause Nat King Cole people suing me for sampling him in my album. I'll watch your pigeon. All you gotta do is up sync to the testimony I recorded for you usin' Nat King Cole voice.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-16 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-16 Pub. Date: 2017-05-16
Image Number: 158077
Caption: Lemont, we have need of you. What the -- Color-blinded. I am the harbinger, I'm … Here to warn me about a calamity threatening the entire multiverse. DC Comics' "Crisis on Infinite Earths," 1985. Oh … wait … this must be Earth Prime, where heroes only exist ... Heroes only exist as comic book characters or as dreams. Anyway, why are you in my dream? I was due to testify before Congress about President Trump's Russia ties, but Trump fired me. So I have some free time.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-11 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-11 Pub. Date: 2011-08-11
Image Number: 64169
Caption: Roxanne loves Lionel too. And she's rich. So why does he need me? Simple: I love him and he loves me ... but there's also the big picture, Judge. The social dynamics, set in motion by slavery's destruction of the black family unit ... have created a culture in which generations of black men have grown up estranged from our feathers. "Fathers," I mean. Sorry, I'm not used to saying that word. Objection, the petitioner is being a drama queen.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-09 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-09 Pub. Date: 2011-08-09
Image Number: 64167
Caption: "So don't worry, I can't testify against you"? No, even further back. "Your ex subpoenaed me. I'm supposed to talk about how you got me to impersonate you an' watch Lionel so you could go to a school reunion, while you ex was sick in bed"? No, forward a little. "I can't go within 500 feet of the courthouse 'cause they got a restraining order against me"? That's it ... say what?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-08 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-08 Pub. Date: 2011-08-08
Image Number: 64166
Caption: So you finally testified in court? Yeah, but not before Roxanne subpoenaed everyone and anyone who could say something bad about me. There was Reverend Wilfred. He puts an IOU in the collection plate every Sunday. Federal Agent Murph. And during the summer of 1982, he consorted with an unknown Iranian. I was seven! We were playing tag! He was from Van Nuys! And ... I don't want to talk about it. Many men who neglect their mothers can still be good fathers.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-02 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-02 Pub. Date: 2011-08-02
Image Number: 63972
Caption: Where were you last night when I testified in my custody case? A little support from my "best friend" would've been cool. I came! But I couldn't find the right courtroom! The 13th floor! I even wrote you the room number! Not a single person who'd RSVP'd showed up. The metal detector guy said there is no room 666. It's not my fault you don't check your evites for typos. I'd made enough clam dip for 30 people.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-22 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-22 Pub. Date: 2011-07-22
Image Number: 63530
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi, Lemont, I'm just checking in 'cause I haven't heard from you in a while. How are you, LB? Not so good. A witness testified in court that I told him I met an actual demon … It's true, I did. I told Susan about it, and she thinks I'm crazy. She doesn't believe me. Nobody believes me. I believe you, Lemont. Say what? I know we haven't seen each other in 16 years, but Lemont I remember you like we've never been apart. You're the smartest, most honest, most sane man I know. Anyone who doesn't believe you must not really know you. ... Not like I do. Man, why'd you to be happily married? Who said "happily"? Nothing bad can come of this.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-19 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-19 Pub. Date: 2011-07-19
Image Number: 63527
Caption: My lawyer says I have to testify, because Benny Russell's testimony devastated my case. What did Mr. Russell say? I … I don't want to talk about it. What? Why not? Tell me! You don't want to know. Now I really have to know! Tell me! It's much too horrible to tlak about. Ok. Hey ... you're supposed to ask four times! It's the rule!
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-14 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-14 Pub. Date: 2011-07-14
Image Number: 63190
Caption: You're gonna have to testify. Ok. That eyewitness testimony was really damaging. It made you look nuts. Like when he said you claimed you unleashed an ancient evil that'll end the world. You have to testify that it was just a euphemism for passing gas or something. I SAID I'm sorry already.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-30 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-30 Pub. Date: 2011-06-30
Image Number: 62674
Caption: Dr. Noodle, would you say Lemont Brown is insane, and therefore an unfit parent? You'll say Lemont is insane. Or I'll eat you. I'm Dr. Noodle. You're safe here. You can trust me. Lem … Lemont Brown is … … every bit as sane as I am.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-28 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-28 Pub. Date: 2011-06-28
Image Number: 62672
Caption: State yur name. Doctor Sigmund Mesmer Noodle. Do you solemnly swear an oath to tell the truth, so help you God? No. If I were going to lie, then I would be a liar. And if I were a liar, then my oath would be worthless. The real reason courts don't have therapists testify. Have you always sought empty promises from the people in your life, Judge?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-27 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-27 Pub. Date: 2011-06-27
Image Number: 62671
Caption: Your ex called your THERAPIST to testify against you? What about doctor-patient privilege? They found a loophole. According to Brown v. Dubois … Privilege does not apply when the judge is your opponent's mother. Objection overruled.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-24 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-24 Pub. Date: 2011-06-24
Image Number: 62376
Caption: Can you repeat that? As my ex's therapist, you'll testify in court that he's insane, so they'll give me sole custody of our son. And I'm going to do that because … ? Because I'm a vampire, and if you don't, I'll eat you. Oh! I thought you said "If you dope, I'll bling you." Hard to enunciate with fangs. What was that about your bangs?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-19 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-19 Pub. Date: 2011-05-19
Image Number: 60999
Caption: I really am sorry! I was riding the subway to court to testify for you … … But my dog chewed the bolts off the back door of the train and leapt out into the pitch black tunnel. I jumped out and chased her, but another train almost ran me over. I rolled between the rails at the last second and the train passed over me, with only inches to spare. Then the train broke down and I was stuck under it till morning. Psshh! Yeah right, I've heard that one before.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-18 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-18 Pub. Date: 2011-05-18
Image Number: 60998
Caption: Hello, you've reached Lemont Brown … To hear about how I dreamt of Osama Bin Laden last night, say "one." To hear how Roxanne is saying she's never even heard of me and I'm not Lionel's father, say "two." To hear about how you, my best friend, didn't show up to testify on my behalf, say "three." I've never liked the number three, so ... You've chosen ... three.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-30 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-30 Pub. Date: 2011-04-30
Image Number: 60248
Caption: Lemont, it's dangerous and unwise to stop taking your antipsychotic medicine. I can't testify on my own behalf in court 'cause they make me forgetful! Besides, what's the worst that could happen? You could flip out, hallucinate, lash out and lose everything and everyone you've ever cared about. Oh. What's the SECOND worst thing that could happen? Fascinating.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-26 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-26 Pub. Date: 2011-04-26
Image Number: 60244
Caption: Lemont, you shouldn't have stopped taking your antipsychotic medicine. But I have to testify in my custody hearing. I have to tell the judge all about the great times Lionel and I have together, but I can't remember any of them. The meds make me forgetful! You already said that. I ... I did? Sorry, a little therapist's joke.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-16 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-16 Pub. Date: 2011-03-16
Image Number: 58578
Caption: Of course I'll come to your custody hearing tonight, Lemont. I mean, I AM spending every waking moment staving off the financial collapse of our paper, playing with my grandkids, and waiting for your long-overdue article about the Wisconsin union protests. But I think I can steal an entire evening away from my dying wife to sit in night court testifying on your behalf. Great! Be there at 10 p.m.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-15 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-15 Pub. Date: 2011-03-15
Image Number: 58577
Caption: Clyde … sure, you're a thug, and you make awful decisions. But you're also the only friend I have who's actually met Roxanne. The judge said my lawyer and I can't say anything bad about her in the custody hearing. But maybe as a witness, YOU could slip in some really underhanded, mean comments about her ... ... just to contrast the part where you talk about how ethical I am. That reasoning appeals to me. It does? Never mind, then.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-14 testify 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-14 Pub. Date: 2011-03-14
Image Number: 58576
Caption: I was gonna come waste my valuable time testifying at your custody hearing last night, Big L … but my grandma died, all sudden an' #@$%*. Oh man … I'm sorry to hear that, Clyde. I really am … but the hearing's still going on. You can come tonight. Um ... sure-wait ... tonight? Can't dawg. We expecting her to have a relapse tonight. Wait ... I was at your grandma's funeral. In 1994. It's a chronic thing.
     
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