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Candorville

Comics about televisions.

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-11 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-11 Pub. Date: 2013-09-11
Image Number: 101334
Caption: We can't go to war 'cause of a video tape. How we know them rebels didn't do that to frame they government? That would violate the "Matlock Principle." Every episode, a killer would frame someone else, and Andy Griffith would catch him. It was so unrealistic. "Real life is inversely proportionate to Matlock." Don't you watch nothin' made in THIS century? Thug 4 Life.
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-24 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-24 Pub. Date: 2013-08-24
Image Number: 100556
Caption: Monopoly Cable, Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? You dropped CBS. 10% of the shows I watched were on CBS. Since you're giving me 10% less product, I will be paying you 10% less money. Ok sir, that sounds reasonable. Coincidentally, we were about to raise your rates by 10%, so let's call it even.
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-20 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-20 Pub. Date: 2013-08-20
Image Number: 100552
Caption: Why we be watchin' a home improvement show, Big L? We both RENTERS. Why'd you turn it to business news? Neither of us got no investments. Why'd you turn it to "Facts Of Life" reruns, both of us MEN, dawg. You want me to turn it to "I Owe Big L $2, I'd Better Pay Him Back"? Quiet. Tootie 'bout to say something.
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-15 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-15 Pub. Date: 2013-08-15
Image Number: 100292
Caption: Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. General Hospital. And some are given a chance to climb but refuse. They cling to the realm, or love, or the gods, illusions. Do you know why he's here, doctor? Sssh! Offhand, I'd say it's because his cable is out at home. Great ... You made me miss Littlefinger's retort to Lord Varys!
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-28 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-28 Pub. Date: 2013-07-28
Image Number: 99246
Caption: I always wanted a circle of friends like the ones I saw on TV. I wanted friends who would stick by me through all my failed romances … Like in "Sex and the City." … Friends who would care enough about me to argue with me when I'm wrong, like in "A Different World." ... Friends who would do silly dances to make me lighten up, like in "What's Happening!!" ... Friends who would fight every battle for me, like Fonzie did for Richie Cunningham. WHY CAN'T I FIND FRIENDS LIKE THOSE?! Maybe because you've spent all your time watching TV. FRASIER CRANE never would've said that.
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-11 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-11 Pub. Date: 2013-07-11
Image Number: 99041
Caption: Twitter. TWITTER.COM/CANDORVILLE. Lemont Brown: Even Doctor McCoy forgetting he had 71 other genetically engineered augments in stasis whose blood could save Captain Kirk makes more sense than my inability to attract ladies.
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-29 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-29 Pub. Date: 2013-06-29
Image Number: 98452
Caption: C-dog, my IRA is only earning 0.3% interest. Should I put my money somewhere else? C-dog's incredibly bad advice. 50 cents. I get that question all the time. Here whachoo do: Pull out all your money. Invest it in television. Is television still a growth sector? Yeh, they be gettin' bigger all the time. Get yourself one of them 60" ones from Wal-Mart. What? What?
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-25 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-25 Pub. Date: 2013-06-25
Image Number: 98448
Caption: The news just ran a story about how watching TV negatively affects cognition. … Or maybe it was memory.
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-13 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-13 Pub. Date: 2013-06-13
Image Number: 97912
Caption: Before spying on reporters' emails, did the Justice Department consider the devastating effects it could have? We did. We were worried the news may become nothing more than poorly sourced, superficial noise that nobody trusts or cares about. … Are being sarcastic? We worried newspapers would close their bureaus and fire their staffs, and TV news would become all partisan and opiniony.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-05 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-05 Pub. Date: 2013-06-05
Image Number: 97640
Caption: Studies show that channel-flipping leads to attention deficit disorder. Click. Thug 4 Life. This side up. In other news, what you're doing right now is likely to kill you if you don’t stop right this instant. Click. Find out more after the break. Click. Studies show that channel-flipping leads to ... Something or other ... I don't recall. Back to you, Wolf.
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-31 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-31 Pub. Date: 2013-05-31
Image Number: 97403
Caption: The guys change the channel. Can I say something? What is it? Well, judge … Yes, my pitbull ate her car … But that's not the whole story. Thug 4 Life. She didn’t have to come zooming around the corner. Everyone knows the proper way to round a corner where a pitbull lives is slowly, after honking twice. But your honor, she should've had her pitbull on a leash. He's already unfairly maligned ... A leash would make Killer feel even worse.
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-30 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-30 Pub. Date: 2013-05-30
Image Number: 97402
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." I ain't the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! Hold on … Let's find out. We have the results of the paternity test. You in trouble now! Brian, in the case of Linda's baby, Little Brian Jr, you are. BEEEEEEP! This is the Emergency Broadcast System. We interrupt this program to say "Are you really watching this #$%?"
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-29 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-29 Pub. Date: 2013-05-29
Image Number: 97401
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Maury, I can't possibly be the daddy. We was only together that one time. An' it was the first time for both of us. E'rebody know you cant make a baby if it your first time. What that tell you, Maury? What that tell you? ... That they need better sex ed classes. Thug 4 Life.
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-28 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-28 Pub. Date: 2013-05-28
Image Number: 97400
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Brian, Linda accuses you of being the father of her baby. That ain't true, Maury. Yeah, I have 29 other kids, but I ain't claimin' one that ain't mine … … Because I have INTEGRITY. It's like I can feel my synapses just giving up. He do make a good point. Thug 4 Life.
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-27 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-27 Pub. Date: 2013-05-27
Image Number: 97399
Caption: What time is it? Why? Why you gotta ask "why?" Why come you can't just answer the question? It's insulting that you don’t just assume I have a good reason for asking. What time is it? 11 A.M. Oh good … The "I Ain't The Baby Daddy" show on. THAT'S WHY I ASKED WHY! Thug 4 Life. Thank God For Culture Clash.
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-21 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-21 Pub. Date: 2013-04-21
Image Number: 95578
Caption: All I'm saying is, if you're going to tell a science fiction joke, it can't be about something so obscure. It's not obscure, it was on TV for five years! I still don’t see why "in and alternate universe, they're rebooting 'Sliders'" is funny. I can't explain it to you. No joke is funny once it's explained. (Sigh.) Fine. "Sliders" was a show about alternate universes. Apparently you can explain why a joke is NOT funny. I don't get it. What do you mean?
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-12 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-12 Pub. Date: 2013-04-12
Image Number: 95576
Caption: Lemont calls to cancel his cable. Sir, before you go ... What if I gave you all the channels you want, plus free HBO for a year, for half what we charge you now? I'd say if you can afford to do that, you must've been overcharging me all this time ... but whatever. I'll give you one more chance. I'll take it. Thank you, sir! You won't be sorry. The one who's less in love controls the relationship. (Originally published on 2011-09-02).
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-11 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-11 Pub. Date: 2013-04-11
Image Number: 95575
Caption: Lemont talks to his cable provider. You're right, satellite would end up being just as expensive. Glad you realized that! Doesn't mean I'm coming back to you. I've been thinking ... Almost everything I watch is online. Maybe I'll just get a Roku box and stream on Netflix and Hulu for $20/month. It's really over, isn't it. You'll find another man who won't mind paying $120 for the Sewing Channel. (Originally published on 2011-09-01).
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-10 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-10 Pub. Date: 2013-04-10
Image Number: 95574
Caption: Lemont talks to Brian at Concast cable. Didn't we give you HBO free for six months? When you were down, didn't we come over promptly to service you? Go ahead, try satellite. You'll come crawling back here when their six-month special is over and they get just as expensive as us. ok. 'Bye. WAIT! What if ... What if we change? It's too late, Brian. (Originally published on 2011-08-31).
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-09 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-09 Pub. Date: 2013-04-09
Image Number: 95573
Caption: Lemont cancels his Concast cable service. If you don't mind my asking, why are you leaving us? Was it us? Did we not meet your needs? No, it's just I want to see other TV. Maybe satellite. What? Are you serious? What does satellite have that we don't have? Cheaper, better programming. Better box ... Aside from that. (Originally published on 2011-08-30).
     
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