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Candorville

Comics about televisions.

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101. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-13 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-13 Pub. Date: 2015-10-13
Image Number: 133793
Caption: It's been a while since I've seen you two. How are you lovebirds doing? Dr. Noodle. Couple's counseling Great. Just great. I mean, sure, we were on the verge of breaking up. And sure, the internet is young and hot, and willing to do just about anything I want ... But TV and I have been together forever, so we might as well just stick it out. Oh. So I'm just a habit to you?
     
102. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-11 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-11 Pub. Date: 2015-09-11
Image Number: 132205
Caption: twitter™ twitter.com/Candorville. Trying to determine the best Star Trek episode to talk about on a first/last date … Ladies? Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
103. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-08 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-08 Pub. Date: 2015-09-08
Image Number: 132202
Caption: What do you think I should ask Trump at his press conference? I want to ask him a tough question, but he doesn't answer tough questions. Last time I asked him a tough question, he pouted, got angry, accused me of being mean to him … and then said I was an emotional person. I liked "The Apprentice."
     
104. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-29 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-29 Pub. Date: 2015-08-29
Image Number: 131718
Caption: Monopoly Cable, Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? You dropped CBS. 10% of the shows I watched were on CBS. Since you're giving me 10% less product, I will be paying you 10% less money. Ok sir, that sounds reasonable. Coincidentally, we were about to raise your rates by 10%, so let's call it even.
     
105. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-25 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-25 Pub. Date: 2015-08-25
Image Number: 131714
Caption: Why we be watchin' a home improvement show, Big L? We both renters. Why'd you turn it to business news? Neither of us got no investments. Why'd you turn it to "Facts of Life" reruns, both of us men, dawg. You want me to turn it to "I owe Big L $2, I'd better pay him back"? Quiet. Tootie 'bout to say something.
     
106. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-21 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-21 Pub. Date: 2015-08-21
Image Number: 131278
Caption: The presidential election is officially underway. The candidates are making a lot of dubious claims … which may or may not be consistent with what they've said before. But who can say? We have no way of knowing. Hey, why're you looking at me like that? Listen, just because Jon Stewart's "Daily Show" is over, doesn't mean I'm not worth watching. I'm not being defensive, if that's what you're thinking ... Hey! Where are you going?! You're just going to the bathroom, right?
     
107. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-10 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-10 Pub. Date: 2015-08-10
Image Number: 130933
Caption: I just watched "Deep Space Nine" all the way through for the eighth time. But this time I didn't enjoy it very much. I was … bored. What does that say about me? Could it be I have a thyroid problem or cardiac condition or some other illness that causes depression? Maybe it just means you'd already seen it seven times. I tried to schedule a doctor appointment, but they refused. Thanks a lot, Obamacare.
     
108. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-06 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-06 Pub. Date: 2015-08-06
Image Number: 130586
Caption: Whachoo wanna watch, Big L? Anything but Sesame Street. My don't crazy about it. Sometimes he says "watch Elmo" over and over again for hours until I finally give in and turn it on. If I hear "La la la la la … La la la la … Elmo's world" one more time, I just might throw the tv into the East River. Parent be trippin'. Elmo should be considered a class 2 drug.
     
109. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-04 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-04 Pub. Date: 2015-08-04
Image Number: 130584
Caption: Did you hear, Clyde? It's looking more and more like the EM drive may actually work! It could get from earth to the moon in four hours. It could reach Mars in 70 days. It could reach the nearest star in just 100 years! Don't you see? This is the "impulse drive" from Star Trek! This is the "Epstein drive" from The Expanse, only it's real! It could be the most important development in human history. Yet everyone's still talking about Donald Trump. When you talk geek, it make me physically ill, bruh.
     
110. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-02 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-02 Pub. Date: 2015-08-02
Image Number: 129962
Caption: I always wanted a circle of friends like the ones I saw on TV, Dr. Noodle. I wanted friends who would stick by me through all my failed romances … like in "Sex and the City" … Friends who would care enough about me to argue with me when I'm wrong, like in "A Different World" ... Friends who would do silly dances to make me lighten up, like in "What's Happening!!" ... Friends who would fight every battle for me, like Fonzie did for Richie Cunningham. Why can't I find friends like those?! Maybe because you've spent all your time watching tv. Frasier Crane never would've said that.
     
111. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-19 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-19 Pub. Date: 2015-07-19
Image Number: 129280
Caption: How many fights you think I been in in my life, Big L? I try not to think about it, Clyde. I figure as long as I don’t have statistics about the horrible details of your life, I can pretend you're actually a good person. Denial is a skill I began honing at an early age, when I first saw "Galactica 1980". If I could convince myself that show was good, I could convince myself of anything. No offense. I started a fight exactly ... For the love of god, man, don't ruin our friendship!
     
112. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-05 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-05 Pub. Date: 2015-07-05
Image Number: 128670
Caption: But if you just watch. I ain't wanna talk about this, Big L. But why can't we talk about it? 'Cause there only so many words we get to hear an' say before we die. The average person say 370,110,001 words in his lifetime, bruh. Way I see it, I ain't got but 180,000,000 left. I ain't gonna waste nary a one of them on that corny @*$%. Besides, Star Track Next Generation been off the air 20 years now, bruh. I'm just saying, once you notice Worf doesn't have any ears, you can't ever unnotice it.
     
113. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-28 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-28 Pub. Date: 2015-06-28
Image Number: 128375
Caption: Hello Concast Cable? This is Lemont Brown. I'd like you to stop calling me. You don't really want that. Yes, I do. Stop trying to get me back. It's over. It's satellite … isn't it? I could give you more than satellite gives you … just give me a chance. No, its not ... Listen, it's not you, it's not satellite. A couple years ago, I discovered Roku. And all of a sudden, Roku gave me Netflix, and Hulu, and Crackle on my tv ... and all of a sudden I had what I never knew I'd been missing. So you see, it's not you, Concast ... it's me. You're just saying that. Yeah. I am. it IS you. You and your stupid van and your smug attitude and your crazy hidden fees. It would be a shame if I were to raise your broadband bill and then you couldn't afford to stream Netflix. See? This! This is exactly the sort of thing that made me leave you!
     
114. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-26 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-26 Pub. Date: 2015-06-26
Image Number: 128675
Caption: I wish I could visit the alternate universe where the Kennedy brothers had never been assassinated. In that universe, we never escalated in Vietnam, Nixon was never president, we never ended the Apollo program … I was born on the moon, Carter and Reagan were never presidents, so Iran never turned out to be what it is and we never helped create all these terrorists ... and "Chappelle's Show" never went off the air. You really need to let that go, Lemont.
     
115. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-10 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-10 Pub. Date: 2015-06-10
Image Number: 128069
Caption: What do you think of The X-Files coming back, Clyde? You gonna watch it? Nah, bruh, there was a time an' place for that spit, an' this ain't it no more. Back then, trenchcoats was cool. That was before Columbine. Back then, secret government conspiracies was just fiction. That was before Edward Snowman. Back then, you had a high-top fade and parachute pants. Now you ain't got no hair an' you make regular pants look like parachute pants. I've only gained 30 pounds!
     
116. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-30 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-30 Pub. Date: 2015-05-30
Image Number: 127505
Caption: I got so angry at "The Flash" the other day. Flash went to the super-villain Captain Cold for help. Dr. Noodle. And Captain Cold knew he was Barry Allen. In fact, everyone on the whole show knows his secret identity. Ph.D. I kind of flipped out when I realized that. Why'd I even care? You were jealous. All those people knowing his true identity reminded you you have very few close friends who know the real you. Shut up. You don't know me.
     
117. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-18 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-18 Pub. Date: 2015-05-18
Image Number: 127171
Caption: Did you know we spend $2 billion a week in Afghanistan, Susan? Do you know how many Americans could have health insurance for $2 billion a week? Do you know how many roads and bridges and tracks we could fix for $2 billion a week? Do you know how many episodes of a new "Star Trek" show we could produce for $2 billion a week? I mean ... Do you know how many hungry Americans we could feed for $2 billion a week?
     
118. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-02 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-02 Pub. Date: 2015-05-02
Image Number: 126135
Caption: OK, I have to admit, that was a really good film. What was your favorite part? Avengers. My favorite part was seeing Elizabeth Olsen play the Scarlet Witch. I remember when she was the baby on "Full House." So not only did I get to feel incredibly old, I also got to be distracted by the image of "Uncle Jessie" singing to her that kept running through my head. She wasn't on "Full House." Those were her older twin sisters. Avengers. Well then they should've put "she wasn't on' Full House'" on the posters.
     
119. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-29 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-29 Pub. Date: 2015-04-29
Image Number: 126132
Caption: My son keeps loading 'The Cosby Show' on Hulu. What fo'? Cosby ain't never been funny. He always been boring as @#$% an' I ain't never liked him. Cosby ain't nothin' now, Cosby ain't never been nothin', and I always thought he was creepy. People always try to go back and pretend they were right about someone all along. He ain't never made me laugh. Not even once!
     
120. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-23 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-23 Pub. Date: 2015-04-23
Image Number: 125857
Caption: Dang, bruh … American Idol be really, really bad this year. Where they be findin' all these mediocre singers? I can't picture not a one of them bein' on the radio. This is the best they can find in a country of 320 million people? If I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd say it's no coincidence they're getting us used to voting for mediocre talent just as the presidential election season starts. When "Gilligan Island" be on?
     
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