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Candorville

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281. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-27 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-27 Pub. Date: 2008-02-27
Image Number: 21976
Caption: You're what? I'm starting a letter-writing campaign to save "Journeyman." If I can get millions of people to write NBC and demand they renew "Journeyman"… …There'll be millions of people disappointed when they don't do it, instead of just me. I ever tell you I love your optimism? I expected your sarcasm.
     
282. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-24 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-24 Pub. Date: 2008-02-24
Image Number: 21934
Caption: I've been reading your blog, Lemont. Did you write to NBC I asked? I downloaded all those "Journeyman" episodes like you said we should do. Did you write to NBC like I asked? I loved it. It started a little slowly, but man, it got sooo good! Did you write to NBC like I asked? Oh, when she opened her eyes and finally saw him disappear, I just cried and cried. DID YOU WRITE TO NBC LIKE I ASKED? If only there were some way to get NBC to renew the show. AAAARGH!! This is just way too easy.
     
283. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-01 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-01 Pub. Date: 2008-01-01
Image Number: 20999
Caption: What did you get for Christmas, Lemont? Absolute proof there is no GREAT AUTHOR IN THE SKY. NBC canceled "Journeyman," one of the best TV shows I've ever seen in my whole entire life. Oh, and then there's the war and everything. Dios mio.
     
284. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-07 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-07 Pub. Date: 2007-12-07
Image Number: 20125
Caption: I think I figured out why Foxxx News gets higher ratings than CNN or MSNBC. People prefer conservative voices? No, it's the NEWSMODELS. The what? The sexy anchors with the tiny skirts and all the cleavage. I don't even notice that stuff. Right. Me neither.
     
285. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-06 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-06 Pub. Date: 2007-12-06
Image Number: 20124
Caption: There's nothin' wrong with your cable, bruh. Then why can't I get Foxxx News? Looks like its your TV's v-chip. It blocks violence and smut. Were you watching "Girls Gone Wild" clips on the Bill O'Reilly Show? I watch it for the commentary, I swear! Whatever, dude.
     
286. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-23 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-23 Pub. Date: 2007-11-23
Image Number: 19612
Caption: Celebrity Big Brother. So I told Kucinich he should participate more in like, kitchen chores and stuff. An' he told me he'd rather, like, end the war and stuff. An' I'm like, what-ever. I think he likes me, though. I can't wait 'til the writers' strike is over. So I'm like, WHAT war, an' he's like...
     
287. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-28 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-28 Pub. Date: 2007-10-28
Image Number: 19040
Caption: On today's SUNDAY MORNING POLITICAL SHOW, we discuss Clinton's suggestion that the government give every child a $5000 savings account. Here to discuss this, we have Rudy Giuliani. Thanks, Bob. Hillary's taking a page from George McGovern's playbook. When he ran for office, he promised every American $1000. It was bribery, and it was pathetic. And here to debate Mr. Giuliani, we have Rudy Giuliani from 1972. Hello, Bob. I obviously don't think McGovern's pathetic. In fact, I just voted for him. Bob, this Giuliani character just confessed to having poor judgment. Bob, THIS Giuliani guy will say just about anything.
     
288. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-19 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-19 Pub. Date: 2007-10-19
Image Number: 18935
Caption: Our son's gonna stand under these stars one night, Roxanne. And he's gonna say, "Poppa, what are those?" And I'm gonna say "Ask your mother. I'm not allowed to talk about it." I said he can't watch "Battlestar Galatica" and I meant it. He's already one, he's falling behind!
     
289. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-10 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-10 Pub. Date: 2007-10-10
Image Number: 18868
Caption: It's a sad day, America. You can no longer trust the media. In their ongoing obsession with painting yours truly as a racist, they've actually stooped so low as to… Well, there's no other way to say it… They're actually quoting my exact words. Gotta love Bill O'Reilly. Accurate quotes aren't what journalism is supposed to be about.
     
290. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-09 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-09 Pub. Date: 2007-10-09
Image Number: 18867
Caption: Lemont Interviews Fox "News" Talking Head Bill O'Reilly. What's your reaction to those who'd say you're racist? I can't get over it. "Can't get over people saying he's racist." No, I mean I can't get over how you're not wearing any bling, or saying "Hey, M-fer" or anything. "O'Reilly became lost in something like thought..." You're just like a normal person.
     
291. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-08 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-08 Pub. Date: 2007-10-08
Image Number: 18866
Caption: What's wrong with you, Lemont? The Chronicle sent me to interview Bill O'Reilly. Y'know, that talking head from Fox "News." Oh no. Oh yes. When we spoke by phone, I had no idea you were Black. You didn't cuss or anything.
     
292. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-03 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-03 Pub. Date: 2007-10-03
Image Number: 18780
Caption: Have you got road rage? Do you yell at other bruthas even when it's yo' own #$% fault? Do you get mad at people you mug when it turns out they ain't got no money? Do you blame them fuh wastin' yo' time? Come in to C-Dogg's Attitude Adjustment Clinic. We'll set yo' punk-@%$ straight. CLYYYYDE! Located in that alley over that way. We accept Blue Cross.
     
293. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-31 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-31 Pub. Date: 2007-08-31
Image Number: 18405
Caption: C-dog's incredibly bad advice. $2. C-dog, I'm 19. My girlfriend's leaving for college in another state. How can I keep her from falling for some new guy who's richer and hotter than me? Cheat on her. That way she'll be too busy planning your death to even look at another cat. How could I become as wise as you, sir? Study Gilligan. F Troop. All the classics.
     
294. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-27 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-27 Pub. Date: 2007-08-27
Image Number: 18401
Caption: Unemployment Office. Hi, I just got laid off. Need a new job. Where'd you last work, "Mr. Track"? Call me "Laugh." I was on staff at Fox News "Half Hour News Hour"… …The comedy show that once made fun of Barrack Obama by showing a huge crowd of rowdy Africans. Boy, was I needed there. But even my talents couldn't keep them on the air. There's an opening on "Saturday Night Live."
     
295. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-09 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-09 Pub. Date: 2007-07-09
Image Number: 17864
Caption: Hello, you've reached CNN. Finally! Lemont Brown, Candorville Courier. I want to ask why Larry King canceled Michael Moore's discussion of our healthcare system in order to talk to Paris Hilton. I've been on hold for a whole week, by the way. Oh my, let me find out why that happened. Hold, please. @#$%!
     
296. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-01 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-02 Pub. Date: 2007-07-01
Image Number: 17788
Caption: I don't like high definition.
     
297. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-18 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-18 Pub. Date: 2007-06-18
Image Number: 17668
Caption: Do your feet stink? Are you thirsty several times a day? Call your doctor and ask if Plasseebo is right for you. The pill industry is evil. Do you get tired at night?
     
298. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-15 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-15 Pub. Date: 2007-06-15
Image Number: 17563
Caption: Roxanne said she'll marry me if I get hair plugs, stop watching Star Trek reruns… …put on some muscle, grow a goatee, dress better, wear cologne… ...get a $5 million life insurance policy and take up sky diving… …wait. What? I know, I don't give up Star Trek for anyone.
     
299. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-11 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-11 Pub. Date: 2007-06-11
Image Number: 17559
Caption: Why do the good die young? Why do the best ones leave us way before their time? I know. Nearly 3800 troops have died in Iraq. I was talking about Battlestar Galactica ending next season. …Um, yeah. Exactly.
     
300. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-02 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-22 Pub. Date: 2006-07-02
Image Number: 14162
Caption: On today's Sunday morning political show, our guest in Condoleeza Rice. Thanks, Bob. Listen, Iran is a grave and gathering threat. We must confront it now, while we still can. Ms. Rice, that's almost exactly what you said in 2002 about Iraq. Some critics argue that you're using the same old script to scare Americans into another, jingoistic frenzy right before the elections. All you did was pick a different country to fear. Of course not, Bob! That's an irresponsible and inappropriate allegation. How dare you impugn my integrity, sir Sorry. As I was saying, [insert name] is a grave and gathering threat to our security. Did you just "bracket insert name close-bracket"? No! And it's irresponsible and inappropriate of you to ....
     
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