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Rudy Park

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-26 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-26 Pub. Date: 2014-11-26
Image Number: 119414
Caption: What's the best way to break up a marriage? I'm not sure I want to know why you're asking. As long as Beyonce's sister stays married, I don’t have much chance of marrying her myself. I'm not fit enough for "Survivor," I don't have eight kids, and I'm a bit too old to be on "Big Brother." I figure marrying a celebrity's sister is my best chance to finally get my own reality show. Does "Willis" from "Diff'rent Strokes" have a sister? Ok, now I'm 100% sure.
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-24 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-24 Pub. Date: 2014-11-24
Image Number: 119412
Caption: Solange Knowles got married!!! That's n … Who? Beyonce's sister. I've had a crush on her ever since I found out Beyonce was already taken. I always imagined that someday we'd meet, fall in love, and together we'd start a reality show. I mean "family." This is why I don't cover psychotherapy in your health insurance. You'd bankrupt me.
     
123. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-23 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-23 Pub. Date: 2014-11-23
Image Number: 118569
Caption: I was in a riot a few weeks ago. Did you see me on TV? What're you talking about? I heard there was going to be trouble at the Pumpkin Fest in Keene, New Hampshire. So I hopped on a plane. It was tense. On one side, you had the pumpkin community. On the other side, the sweet potato advocates. That's when it all exploded. STOP! Riots are supposed to be about serious issues! Injustice! Racism! Corrupt local governments! Out-of-control police! Walgreens running out of Metamucil! There were fists, tear gas and pumpkin bits everywhere. STOP!!! Rudy, the situation was tense enough without outside agitators like you.
     
124. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-21 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-21 Pub. Date: 2014-10-21
Image Number: 117983
Caption: Sadie, you were around in the sixties … is "Mad Men" accurate? That depends. Are you genuinely curious about history, or is this your oafish way of calling me old? Genuinely curious. Honest. All right … They took liberties, but they got the general tone right. And how accurate was "Bonanza"?
     
125. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-13 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-13 Pub. Date: 2014-10-13
Image Number: 117697
Caption: What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it. It's going well. So far I've downloaded and categorized every single episode of "Property Brothers" and "Income Property." I had a little setback, though. The hard drive where I thought I'd stored "Curb Appeal" is filled with "Star Trek" instead. You bought that shack seven years ago. Counselor Troi is distracting.
     
126. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-13 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-13 Pub. Date: 2014-09-13
Image Number: 116263
Caption: All the police brutality in the news makes it seem like it's happening more. It's not? Of course not. We've had police brutality ever since we first had police. You youngsters don’t know what police brutality is. Everything you've seen on your TV is what's done by police who know they're probably being recorded. When I was your age, there were no cellphone cameras or dashboard cams. Imagine what cops did before cameras existed! Anything that happened before I was born is meaningless to me.
     
127. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-24 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-24 Pub. Date: 2014-08-24
Image Number: 114704
Caption: Oh, Lucy, I never say anything like this in my whole life! Oh, Ricky, the studio must think a lot of you to give you a suite like this. My solution for pain? Painaway Jet Spray! Buy a Chevy! They don’t kill people anymore! … That we know of! Take it from me, for toe itch, buy Gold Toe! No, Lucy, you can't go to the studio with me. Because you will hound all the stage. Hungry? Head on down to Pigville for a double Pork-Burger! Do you like a firm mattress but your partner likes it soft? Get the new Eject-A-Mate from Slumberco, and never have to listen to them complain again! Lucy, Ricky better not find out what you're up to, or. Got grease? Get Greezy-Off! Definitely didn't have as many ads in my day. Ricky, I'm sorry I messed everything up. Honey-Nut Cheer-Me-Ohs!
     
128. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-08 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-08 Pub. Date: 2014-08-08
Image Number: 114702
Caption: What're you watching on your me-phone? "Batman v Superman" bootleg. That reminds me of the time Adam West caught me and George Reeves smooching in the woods. Adam and I had been over for weeks, but he was still insanely jealous. Adam who and George what? They should outlaw anyone under 40. Anyone seen any woods around here?
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-27 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-27 Pub. Date: 2014-07-27
Image Number: 113519
Caption: Have I heard of what? "The curse of the redshirts." You know how every time Captain Kirk would beam down a landing party, the character wearing a red shirt would get killed in some gruesome way? Well, back in nineteen and sixty-eight, I auditioned to be the red shirt who gets killed by a plant. Mal Friedman stole that role from me! A luck would have it, Gene Roddenberry like the cut of my jib and wrote me into every episode anyway. I was the purple-shirted extra who was always felled by workplace repetitive stress injuries. They always cut my scenes on account of overacting. Only think I remember from that show is shatter's glistening chesticles. The purple shirt always ended up on the cutting-room floor.
     
130. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-21 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-21 Pub. Date: 2014-05-21
Image Number: 111624
Caption: I went down to the jail to bail out Sadie. But she refused to leave. Why? Seems the old lady's risen to the top of the pecking order already. Everyone seemed to be catering to her. Her cell even had cable TV and flowers with doilies. When I noticed the prison guard had a new tattoo of a begonia under his left eye, I got the heck out of there.
     
131. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-20 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-20 Pub. Date: 2014-05-20
Image Number: 111623
Caption: It’s not every day you turn on the TV and see your nemesis being chased by the cops on the freeway. Old Sadie sire knows how to handle a Rascal Scooter. I still don’t know how she avoided those spike strips. You know what it’s made me think, Randy? HOJ. It has? Wow. When's the last time something did that? (Sorry, when Sadie's in jail, someone has to be Sadie.)
     
132. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-19 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-19 Pub. Date: 2014-05-19
Image Number: 111622
Caption: We interrupt this breaking news to bring you breaking news! About half an hour ago, we interrupted "The Price Is Right" to bring you breaking news. An elderly "Price Is Right" fan emerged out of nowhere and began pummeling our news van with rotten eggs. Our newscopter is bringing us video of the lady chasing our van. What is that she's driving, Chuck? I believe that's a Rascal Scooter, Ted.
     
133. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-18 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-18 Pub. Date: 2014-05-18
Image Number: 110795
Caption: The fad herald cometh. Dang. He's not wearing a Bluetooth. Hear ye: The following is now OUT: Ending every fifth sentence with the word "right?" if you're a talking head on MSNBC. The following is now in: "Cord cutting," which is canceling cable and satellite and getting all your favorite shows online. The following is now out: the phrase "cord cutting." Also out: watching TV on a TV. The following is now IN: Smartphones with absurdly large screens. YES!
     
134. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-14 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-14 Pub. Date: 2014-04-14
Image Number: 110181
Caption: My new app lets me change my voice to sound like anyone. I can sound like Beyonce … Or Lady Gaga … or Snooki … or … Oh, wait … you wouldn’t know them, would you. I should pick a star from back in your day. … I can sound like Cleopatra. You will when I'm done with you.
     
135. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-13 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-13 Pub. Date: 2014-04-13
Image Number: 109296
Caption: Did you see "Cosmos"? No. It was mind-blowing. Didn't it make you feel small to see how huge the cosmos is? Nah. The opposite. It mad me realize that in all the vast reaches of space, with all the trillions of planets capable of supporting life … … and at all points in the past and in the future, there is, has been, and ever will be ... ... Only one me. How can you feel small when you realize something like that? I hadn't teared up like that since the last time I gazed longingly at myself in the mirror. Too much information.
     
136. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-05 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-05 Pub. Date: 2014-04-05
Image Number: 109634
Caption: I've been watching British shows on Hulu. They're strange. Why? Well … the people in them, they … they look really kind of … homely. You only think that because our shows are filled with impossibly perfect-looking models who look the way Americans WANT to look, not the way we really look. ... By "we" I mean "you." I'M modelicious.
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-31 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-31 Pub. Date: 2014-03-31
Image Number: 109629
Caption: I'm living proof of evolution, Randy. What? Unlike most of America, I don’t have cable TV. I get all my shows on Netflix and Hulu at a fraction of the cost. That means I have $150 more at the end of the month. That means I can afford to date women. That means the next generation will also be Netflixers because I'm more likely that cables to pass on my genes. I'd like to pass on this conversation. I'm a societal mutation.
     
138. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-22 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-22 Pub. Date: 2014-03-22
Image Number: 108951
Caption: There's an old-school barbecue guy in "House of Cards" who always has a plate ready for the main character. … And the main character's evil. Look, I'm sorry I don’t remember your "usual order." It doesn't pay to be good.
     
139. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-10 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-10 Pub. Date: 2014-03-10
Image Number: 108582
Caption: When I was a teenager, "Saturday Night live" had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman … That was the only time SNL was actually funny. Blasphemy! It was only funny when I was a teenager. Aykroyd, Murray, Belushi … It's always been lame. But I suspect in 5-10 years, it'll be funny. Blasphemy.
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-20 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-20 Pub. Date: 2014-02-20
Image Number: 107784
Caption: I see you. I deny everything. You're using a computer. You are mistaken. It's natural to publicly despise and condemn that which we are ashamed to secretly love. I'M OLD! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE TELEVISION! You don’t have to pretend anymore, Sadie.
     
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