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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  Next  (283 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-02 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-02 Pub. Date: 2018-11-02
Image Number: 174719
Caption: Was the foster family child protective services put you with nice to you, son? Yes! We aw got the watch the Amewican fwag on tv, and we got to pwedge awegiance to Donawd Twump. You meant that the other way around, right? … right? I leawned to shoot a Kawashnikov and a wocket wauncher.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-25 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-25 Pub. Date: 2018-09-25
Image Number: 174192
Caption: This just in: Astronomers discover and earthlike planet orbiting the nearest start, Prozima Centauri … click … Some are starting to question whether there's proof President Trump's grandfather immigrated from Germany. He could have come from anywhere. Click ... Proxima Centauri is just 4.24 light years away. In cosmic terms that's right next door. This side up.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-24 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-24 Pub. Date: 2018-09-24
Image Number: 174191
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood cliches. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all alone in front of his TV … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for half an hour. Cliches are cliches for a reason.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-19 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-19 Pub. Date: 2018-09-19
Image Number: 174074
Caption: Clyde, you notice all that ash outside? That's because of that wildfire raging 50 miles away. I don't recall having massive wildfires all the time when I was a kid. 'Course not. You was always inside watching tv. If they didn't mention it on The Love Boat, you didn't know @#$ about it. I watched the news, too. Don't remind me. You was the only six-year-old came to Halloween dressed like Ted Koppel.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-15 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-15 Pub. Date: 2018-09-15
Image Number: 173987
Caption: Can I share your fries, Clyde? Oh, so now you wanna share. Where was you when I wanted to share your cable tv line? … Or your wifi? Or your Netflix password? Or your social security number? You somehow got all that anyway. I got that one my own, Big L. That's the problem with America today: Erebody want erethang just handed to them.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-14 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-14 Pub. Date: 2018-09-14
Image Number: 173986
Caption: Whachoo gone an' canceled cable for, bruh? It's too expensive and I didn't watch most of the channels. I can see all my favorite shows on Netflix and Hulu for a fraction of the cost. That's selfish. Think of the ramifications. Think of the cable workers who gonna lose they job if erebody cut cable. Wait ... how did you know I canceled cable? (A) I don't know what you implying. An' (2) I don't even know how to tap somebody line to secretly share they cable.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-12 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-12 Pub. Date: 2018-09-12
Image Number: 173984
Caption: This country's moved too far to the left. You can tell every time you turn on the tv. There used to be shows like Little House on the Prairie, which taught good, wholesome family values … and Gunsmoke, which taught good, wholesome respect for the sheriff's proper role as judge, jury and executioner ... and The Munsters which taught us good, wholesome disdain for multiculturalism. Wait ... are you just messing with me?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-02 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-02 Pub. Date: 2018-09-02
Image Number: 173653
Caption: I read your latest article about the Fermi Paradox. It's the likeliest explanation … We've only been transmitting radio signals for about 100 years, Susan. And since radio waves travel at the speed of light, our radio bubble's only about 200 light years across. Our radio waves have only reaches 15,000 or so stars out of 400 billion. It'll be tends of thousands of years before most of the galaxy ever sees I Love Lucy. There could be 399,999,985,000 stars out there with civilizations broadcasting I Love Splorg or something, and we won't even notice it until the year 201818 ... and if most aliens skipped radio and went straight to internet, we may never, ever know they exist. Is that why your headline was We'll Never See a Splorg Get Trolled on Facesplorg?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-25 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-25 Pub. Date: 2018-07-25
Image Number: 173089
Caption: This just in: Air Force One is missing. It was last seen flying in the general direction of Russian. Click … Despite the empty Big Mac boxes suddenly piling up in his trash can in Moscow, Edward Snowden denies he's got a new roommate. Click. In Moscow, there's been a sudden increase in reported incidents of grabbing. Click. Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the Millionaire ... Mun mun mun -
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-22 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-22 Pub. Date: 2018-07-22
Image Number: 172923
Caption: Dear "Critic," I read your article about how Star Trek gets its own impulse drive all wrong. You said that even though Star Trek SAYS it's not faster than light, it HAS to be, because of all the times they said they had to leave the star system before jumping to warp speed. Sigh ... not again ... Impulse drive is not faster than light!!! you're a two-dimensional thinker. Has it occurred to you they could leave a star system by flying UP, out of the ecliptic plane? Moron!!! Dear reader, light passing Jupiter would take 250 minutes to reach Neptune. But in the season finale of Star Trek: Discovery, they start a conversation as they're passing Jupiter, end it ten seconds later as they're passing Neptune ... Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap t - ... at which point the captain says Have we left the Sol system? The navigator says yes, and the captain says Take us to warp ... I rest my case. I was wrong. I was wrong. Just once let someone restore my faith in humanity by just admitting they were wrong. Discovery isn't REAL Star Trek.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-20 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172356
Caption: No, thanks. I like to let my reporting speak for itself. I'd rather not come on your show. I wrote 4,000 words about how Kim Jong Un tricked the president into offering him everything he wanted in exchange for nothing. That should be enough. There's no reason for me to appear on CNN just to basically repeat it all ... No, I am not afraid of public speaking. Y'know ... grown people aren't supposed to make chicken noises.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-03 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-03 Pub. Date: 2018-06-03
Image Number: 171757
Caption: What's wrong wit' you, Big L? Nothing makes sense anymore. In Star Trek, they almost never jump warp speed until they've left a star system. It takes light from the sun about eight minutes to reach earth. It takes 5.3 hours for that same sunlight to reach Pluto. And yet, it only takes the Enterprise one minute or so to leave a star system. Don't you see ... Every time they use their impulse drive to leave a star system they're still traveling faster than light. But they're not yet warping space. That means they should be affected by time dilation. For every second that passes for them, weeks or months should pass back on earth. Just like e'ry second of this conversation for you be like months for me. Exactly! Even you can understand that!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-19 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-19 Pub. Date: 2018-05-19
Image Number: 171506
Caption: Whachoo wanna watch, Big L? The end of hatred. I want to watch the end of terror, the end of war, the end of killing, the end of brutality. The end of people having to live in fear of other people. I want to watch mankind finally decide to just get along with itself. I don't think that be on. Sigh. Just put on Gilligan's Island.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-01 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-01 Pub. Date: 2018-05-01
Image Number: 171053
Caption: I think you take Star Trek a little too seriously, Lemont. I do not. I just think that it's a good show. A good show that has fun characters … who happen to be a shining symbol of mankind's ability to overcome our barbarism and selfishness and evolve into the noble and ingenious paragon of animals we're meant to be. I rest my case. I mean ... it's pretty good. Worth checking out.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-30 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-30 Pub. Date: 2018-04-30
Image Number: 171052
Caption: Want to come over? I'll watch old Star Trek reruns with you. No offense … but it's not really fun watching "Trek" with you. Just when I'm really feeling it, you always say something to cheapen the experience … You even ruined the single most shocking moment in all of Trek history: When the Borg assimilates Captain Picard and he announces his new identity to the crew. How did my saying I am locutus of bored ruin anything? You had your chance.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-22 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-22 Pub. Date: 2018-04-22
Image Number: 170147
Caption: Here we have a fabulous, publicly owned power grid. It served an island that was home to 3 million American citizens, until it was devastated by a natural disaster. Bidding starts at $3 billion. $3 billion! $4 billion! We have $4 billion. $4 billion going once ... $4 billion going twice ... Sold, to the gentleman from Foreignvania, for $4 billion! Is this the room where they're auctioning off Captain Picard's flute for Star Trek? You want the Macarthur Ballroom. 3rd floor. Here we have a fabulous-but-devastated public education system ...
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-08 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169718
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard this computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he's discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-31 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-31 Pub. Date: 2018-03-31
Image Number: 169890
Caption: Sure, there are probably aliens. But why would they want to come here? The answer's obvious. How many of us tune in to insipid reality shows like The Bachelor and Real Housewives? If there's on thing we should all be able to agree on, it's that world history's been a bit melodramatic. We can't be the only species enthralled by the eternal question: What the @#$% is going on over there?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-22 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-22 Pub. Date: 2018-02-22
Image Number: 168663
Caption: I am come that you may have life and have it abundantly. Be not content to live in a basement studio apartment with cable TV jacked from your neighbor across the alley. You are capable of so much more, my child. Am I capable of gettin' some sleep, bruh? Well, excuse me for trying to grant you a divine revelation. Excused.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-19 television cartoon 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-19 Pub. Date: 2018-02-19
Image Number: 168660
Caption: North Korea just detonated a hydrogen bomb and warned that it's ready to go to war. Click. An alarming new study proves that something in your apartment is almost certain to cause elbow cancer. Stay tuned to find out what it is. Click. The dwarf planet Ceres seems to have broken orbit and is plummeting straight toward earth. Stay tu ... Click. " ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper toooo, the millionaire, and his wiiiiiiiife ... "
     
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