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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-16 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-16 Pub. Date: 2018-01-16
Image Number: 167356
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe. (Originally published on 2015-12-29).
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-19 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-19 Pub. Date: 2017-05-19
Image Number: 158080
Caption: Tyrone, do you recall the days when we panhandled outside the theater? Of course, Rosencrantz. I remember them vividly. They were performing "King Lear," the Shakespeare play about the angry, vain old king who slowly descended into madness. He carved up the kingdom and gifted it to his children. He gave the largest piece to the daughter who flattered him the most. What happened at the end of the play? I don't know. Why do you ask? Spare change?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-12 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-12 Pub. Date: 2017-03-12
Image Number: 154859
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I think I'm done watching "The Flash." You know, the superhero who can run faster than a bullet. I just saw the episode where he has to fight someone who could teleport. But she could only teleport if she could see where she was going. After the Flash figured that out, he did all these things to limit her field of vision. He ran all around knocking out street lights, for instance. He did all sorts of things to make sure she couldn't see. All sorts of things ... except putting a bag over the villain's head. Well that would've been a pretty short episode. I'd rather have five minutes of brilliance than 45 minutes of not putting a bag over the villain's head.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-02 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-02 Pub. Date: 2016-09-02
Image Number: 147923
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood clichés. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all along in front of his tv … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for a half an hour. Clichés are clichés for a reason.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-31 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-31 Pub. Date: 2016-08-31
Image Number: 147921
Caption: Not everything is about race, Clyde. You tryin' to tell me Hollywood don't have a "magical Negro" problem? You ain't noticed all the movies where a black character come outta nowhere an' has no purpose at all other than to teach white people how to solve problems? Yeah, but that's not racial. There are plenty of characters of all races who have no purpose other than to teach people lessons. And let's not forget Yoda. Confusing the issue, you are.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-30 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-30 Pub. Date: 2016-08-30
Image Number: 147920
Caption: That trailer for Eddie Murphy's "Mr. Church" don't look like nothin' but "Driving Miss Daisy Part 2." It look like it literally a film about a brotha who spend decades serving white people an' tryin' to be part of they family instead of makin' his own. I was willin' to look the other way when he was talkin' to animals, and when a tree made him shut up for a whole movie, an' when he played a donkey. But when he play a black man who want nothin' outta life but to cook grits for two white women, I draw the line. It's a true story!!! That makes it ok.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-29 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-29 Pub. Date: 2016-08-29
Image Number: 147919
Caption: Clyde, have you seen the trailer for that new Eddie Murphy movie? Yes, "Magical Negro." I seen it. It's not called "Magical Negro." You mean it ain't about a black character whose only purpose is to use his special insight to aid white characters? It's a true story. So that's different. And it's called "Mr. Church." C-Dog call a movie what it should be called. Wanna go see "Mr. Church" with me? I'd rather go see "Watch Margot Robbie in Hot Pants for Two Hours" again.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-12 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-12 Pub. Date: 2016-08-12
Image Number: 147069
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I decided to show my son the same cartoons I saw as a kid. So I Youtubed "Casper the Friendly Ghost." He liked it, but all I could think about was "Hey … that's a dead kid who's not allowed to go to heaven … He's condemned to roam the earth forever, trying in vain to make friends. And every time he fails, he tries to off himself." So those stories were fine for you but not for your kid? So then we watched the Smurfs, and I was like, "This is a caste system!"
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-25 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-25 Pub. Date: 2016-03-25
Image Number: 140812
Caption: Harrison Ford gonna play Indiana Jones again. He gonna be 77 years old. That mean the movie gonna have to be set in the 1980s. They already done found everything by the eighties. What there was for an archaeologist to do in the eighties? I'll tell you what: In 1984, archaeologists found a sunk slave ship called the "Whydah Gally." The '80s story I'm picturin' got it all: jheri curls, leg warmers, an' 200 ticked off slave ghosts bent on revenge. That's ... wait, I'd watch the heck out of that.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-29 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-29 Pub. Date: 2015-12-29
Image Number: 137114
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-06 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-06 Pub. Date: 2015-10-06
Image Number: 133459
Caption: I met someone in Vancouver, Susan. She's a writer, just like me. After my speech, she approached me to say hello, and I froze. She had this burning intelligence in her eyes. And she was gorgeous. The next day, we went out. One thing led to another, and we ended up getting arrested. Wait ... back up a little ...She had this burning intel ... too far.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-10 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-10 Pub. Date: 2015-05-10
Image Number: 126136
Caption: I'm reading a book called "Leviathan Wakes." It tells a story from the perspective of two different protagonists. Dr. Noodle. Neither knows just how much their stores are connected. It's like I've always thought: what if I'm not the only protagonist in my own life? What if there's somebody out there who's living the other half of my story? What if we're both on separate roads that are fated to converge at some pivotal, all-important moment? And what if I don't recognize this person's significance to my life and so we fail to connect?! I still think boring everyone you meet with your whole life story is a bad idea. But if I don't recognize their significance, they might recognize mine.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-01 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-01 Pub. Date: 2015-05-01
Image Number: 126134
Caption: Hey Lemont, feel like catching the "Avengers" movie later today? … Yeah, I'll get the popcorn. … Sure, I'll be fine with seeing it in 3-D. … Yeah, I promise not to heckle the movie. … No, I won't be embarrassed if you dress up as Captain America. … What the -- It's dark in there. How would you even know if I roll my eyes when they win against all odds? (Sigh) ok, I promise.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-31 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-31 Pub. Date: 2015-03-31
Image Number: 124958
Caption: All right, I'll admit it: There were just way to many plot twists in the "Empire" season finale. First you find out that thing about Lucious … then there's what Hakeem does to Lucious … then there's what Dre and Rhonda do to Uncle Vernon … then there's what Dre, Rhonda, Cookie, Vernon and Hakeem do to Jamal ... then there's what Vernon and Cookie do to Lucious ... This still doesn't explain why you only really have two friends. Fewer friends means fewer people who can DO to me.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-16 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-16 Pub. Date: 2015-01-16
Image Number: 121388
Caption: Lemont Brown's "Writer's Credo" page 12. #47: This, I believe: NOTHING ENDS. Every "ending" - even DEATH - is the starting point for an infinite number of stories. #48: This, I believe: The studio that rejected my screenplay for "Casablanca 2" is an idiot.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-07 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-07 Pub. Date: 2014-12-07
Image Number: 119211
Caption: I'm rewatching J. Michael Straczynski's Babylon 5 for the fifth time, and something's bugging me. The show's all about right vs. wrong and good vs. evil. It's maybe the best morality play ever filmed for tv. Even the goofy comic relief character, Vir Cotto, ends up risking everything to rescue thousands of women and children from a holocaust. In that episode, he personally represents the morality of the entire show. Why, then, did J. Michael Straczynski end the episode with Vir joking that all marriages have problems after he found out his new wife was a raving bigot who had happily taken part in committing that genocide? If even J. Michael Straczynski would ruin his best story by going for a cheap laugh, it's not wonder everything coming out of Hollywood is dumbed down! Explain yourself, J. Michael Straczynski. Who are you and how did you get my phone number? That's not important right now.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-23 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-23 Pub. Date: 2014-07-23
Image Number: 114098
Caption: I had a dream last night. I dreamt that Israel's Prime Minister was Captain Kirk, of the starship Enterprise. And I dreamt Palestine's leader was also Captain Kirk, of a different Enterprise. Both ships were squaring off in orbit of Cestus III. The Metrons who lived on Cestus got annoyed and beamed both Kirks down to the planet to fight one-on-one. Who won? Not sure. There was lots of shirtlessness and karate chops, and then I woke up.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-10 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-10 Pub. Date: 2014-06-10
Image Number: 112321
Caption: Clyde, I'm writing a biography of you, just in case you ever become famous. Problem is, I'm 20 chapters in and it's gotten really predictable. There needs to be a major plot twist right about now. I told you; I'll pay you the $2 you loaned me one mumbleday.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-05 storyline 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-05 Pub. Date: 2014-06-05
Image Number: 112090
Caption: I liked it. What'd you think, Lemont? I think I'm getting old. X-MEN. I should've loved it. It was well-made. But I just sat there feeling like I've seen this same story a million times. The good guys face impossible odds and somehow triumph. That's it. Everything else is just details. I liked Wolverine. You mean you liked "Frodo-Rocky-Potter-Spider-Super-Skywalker-Doubtfire-verine."
     
Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)