C-Dog, I'm worried the stock market will crash. Should I old or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for Big Oatmeal, he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
What is this, Brown? What is what? This blog you wrote about some sort of famine in the horn of Africa. There's not a single word in here about the Tea Party or Obama or the stock market crash or our jobs crisis. Sometimes - every once in a while - things happen to people who aren't Americans. I want a rewrite by 5.