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Candorville

Comics about speeches.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-30 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-30 Pub. Date: 2019-07-30
Image Number: 178782
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Elizabeth Warren. As many of you have correctly guessed … I've been ghost-writing all of her Donald Trump-related speeches and tweets. That's why she's been tearing him a new one lately. Sadie's lady's coming for you, Donald!!! ... But I would like all my listeners to write to Liz and ask her to stop leaving out all my well-crafted expletives.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-29 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-29 Pub. Date: 2019-07-29
Image Number: 178781
Caption: Thank you for coming in on your day off, minion. It reflects well on your character. I thought my job depended on it. I don't know how you got that impression. I would never force you to come in on your day off. That would be illegal. You said Come in on your day off. Your job depends on it. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy ... that's just a figure of speech. You went on to say I mean it. That's not just a figure of speech. That was a figure of speech too.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-06 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-06 Pub. Date: 2019-06-06
Image Number: 177955
Caption: I heard about how the police raided your home office, took your computers an' whatnot. Yeah. I wrote an article about police abuse of power based info a source leaked to me. You never shoulda did that, bruh. What was you thinking? I was thinking this was America. That's fake news.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-16 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-16 Pub. Date: 2019-03-16
Image Number: 176729
Caption: Did you see Trump's speech at CPAC last week? Nah, bruh. You catch the Cornel West vs. Diamond and Silk debate on reparations? Where was that? Youtube? Cable news? Twitch? Facebook? Instagram? Periscope? Vimeo? Streamshark? Ustream? Netflix? Broadcast tv. Oh. No, I'm still trying to figure out how to stream that.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-01 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-01 Pub. Date: 2019-02-01
Image Number: 176035
Caption: Were I but a gossamer figment of they father's illumination … that I might reach for the golden moment … the singular image of that sweet glimmering night … then upon my breast I would beseech thee, do not speak kindly, but carry a dagger and consign thyself to havoc. I'm not convinced that you're quoting Shakespeare. I suspect you're stringing together a bunch of random words. Knaves! Fiends! Avail thyself of house and bitter rain and sleep no more.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-21 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-21 Pub. Date: 2018-10-21
Image Number: 174386
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident 90-something-year-old radio pundit Sadie Cohen answers actual reader questions. AS away at asksadieshow@gmail.com (if you're sure you want the answer). Dear Sadie, I have to give a speech. When I stand up in front of people to talk, my palms get sweaty, my stomach hurts, and I suddenly have to use the bathroom, even I didn't eat anything. any advice? - Shy in Scottsdale. Excellent question. It reminds me of the very first time I was supposed to give a big speech. It as May 6, 1937 ... As head of the Ladies Auxiliary of Manchester Township's Dirigible Fan Club, I was to give a rousing welcome to an incoming blimp. As the German airship drifted gently overhead, I picked up the microphone, and ... By the ay, you know what people don't tell you? They don't tell you that it could create a spark when you accidentally whack a microphone on a mental box full of fireworks. I was by no means relieved about not having to give a speech that day. That would be wrong. And it was by no means intentional ... not provably so, anyway. Anyway, what were you asking about, again? How quickly to establish an alibi? Um ... that's ok. I've gotta go. Asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-08 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-08 Pub. Date: 2018-06-08
Image Number: 172072
Caption: I feel as if an interlude is coming to an end, Rosencrantz, and a new chapter begins anon. Stop using archaic words!! Fie! I have an appetency to force the world to bethink itself of anon.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-05 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-05 Pub. Date: 2018-04-05
Image Number: 170151
Caption: 1983. You know what would be really cool? If Eddie Murphy was president. Why Eddie Murphy? Because his State of the Union speeches would be hilarious. He could dress in a leather suit, do funny voices, cuss a lot … The only thing standing in his way is that he's an entertainer. And America is too serious to put an entertainer in charge. Ronald Reagan's in charge now. That's different. Momma says he was never all that entertaining.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-05 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-05 Pub. Date: 2018-02-05
Image Number: 168180
Caption: You know my favorite part of the president's State of the Union speech? Tell me. The lame SJW response by that beta Congressman Joe Kennedy III. It was equal parts virtue-signaling, multiculturalism, political correctness, and run-of-the-mill snowflakery. (Sigh) ... labeling-away speech and people we don't like is one of mankind's oldest pastimes. Spoken like a typical, deep-state, crybaby, anti-neoreacitonaryist.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-13 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-13 Pub. Date: 2018-01-13
Image Number: 167094
Caption: I had a dream. I dreamt that in 2020, "The Rock" runs for president as an independent. The Republicans nominate Trump again. Democrats are so overconfident that they nominate the corpse of Woodrow Wilson. And while we're all distracted, Congress quietly eliminates elections altogether and they appoint an immortal A.I. as the chairman and CEO of the American Corporate Empire, LLC. I think I like Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech better. I'd tell you the rest, but you might as well just watch "The Matrix."
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-20 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-20 Pub. Date: 2017-11-20
Image Number: 165147
Caption: I flew to Vancouver last week to give a speech. I thought you hated public speaking. Yeah, but they asked me, and I have a hard time saying no to people. Well, I'm proud of you, Lemont. It's always a good idea to tackle your fears head-on. I got nervous and threw up on stage. I'm sure no one noticed.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-26 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-26 Pub. Date: 2017-07-26
Image Number: 160759
Caption: Wait … did you say someone is bullying my song? Yeh, but I took care of that while you was gone. I taught little bruh to man up an' overcome it exactly the way you did back when we was kids an' a bully was clownin' you. You taught him to stand toe-to-toe with the bully, look him in the eye, and deliver a stirring speech that won his respect? What? That ain't even close to what happened. Well that's how I remember it. You also 'member Sinbad playing a genie ins some '90s movie, but that ain't never happened neither. Yes it did!!!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-12 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-12 Pub. Date: 2017-04-12
Image Number: 156720
Caption: Bruh, when the last time you been to the doctor? About a … year ago. Why … do you ask … Clyde? 'Cause you outta breath. I don't … know what you're … talking about. What's with all them pauses in your speech? They're just … dramatic … pauses. You ain't Captain Kirk. You need a hospital, bruh.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-07 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155380
Caption: Did you see Trump's address to Congress last week? Nah, bruh. Did you catch the "Gilligan's Island" marathon on channel 32 last night? . I don't watch broadcast tv. I only watch Netflix and Hulu. You wanna catch a movie? Watched them all off bittorrent for free already, bruh. You get Kanye new album? I only download songs I like and make my own playlists. Read any good books? C-Dog only read tweets.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-11 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-11 Pub. Date: 2016-10-11
Image Number: 149610
Caption: My girlfriend lives in Vancouver. That's why I'm going there. We met a year ago. I'd just given a speech, and she was in the audience. Afterward, she approached me … Hello, Lemont … Well, it felt like that, anyway. Oh my.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-28 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-28 Pub. Date: 2016-04-28
Image Number: 142412
Caption: I remember your first word, son. It was "agoo." That'th not a word, daddy. It was to you. I could tell because your eyes would light up whenever I said it back to you. But in the movies people's eyes onwy wight up when they'we evil. Am I evil? What've I told you about taking things literally. I didn't take anything. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-03).
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-03 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-03 Pub. Date: 2016-03-03
Image Number: 139627
Caption: 1983. You know what would be really cool? If Eddie Murphy was president. Why Eddie Murphy? Because his State of the Union speeches would be hilarious. He could dress in a leather suit, do funny voices, cuss a lot … The only thing standing in his way is that he's an entertainer. And America is too serious to put an entertainer in charge. Ronald Reagan's in charge now. That's different. Momma says he was never all that entertaining.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-01 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-01 Pub. Date: 2016-03-01
Image Number: 139625
Caption: So how's Lionel? Amazing. Guess what happened last night? We were eating dinner. He was playing with his food, so I asked him if he was done, and I reached for this plate. He said "I not done, but you can take it after I done." "Amazing" means something else once you have kids, I guess. He's using compound sentences three years early!
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-01 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-01 Pub. Date: 2015-11-01
Image Number: 134209
Caption: I was supposed to give a speech in Omaha. I spent months perfecting my Powerpoint. Dr. Noodle. When I got there, there was no monitor. No projector. Nothing. But that's ok, that's happened before. I asked if they had an easel and paper so I could draw charts on the fly. They gave me an 8.5"x11" notepad. 800 people in a huge room can't see anything on an 8.5"x11" notepad. I said "That's ok. I've got some funny stories." But when I got on stage, there was no microphone. Stories aren't usually funny when you yell them. Is that when you knocked over the podium, got arrested, and they put you on 72-hour psych hold? No. That's when they served cake, and I thought "I have to compete with cake? Nobody can compete with cake."
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-12 speech 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-12 Pub. Date: 2015-10-12
Image Number: 133792
Caption: My son needs speech therapy, but I don't have the money. Insurance will cover it, but only once he turns three. Should I wait till he's three … or should I have him lie about his age and risk teaching him it's ok to deceive: which'll possibly lead to a career in politics? Why e'rebody treat "risk" like it a four-letter word? Man up. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. $2.
     
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