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Candorville

Comics about sitting and sittings.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-01 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-01 Pub. Date: 2019-10-01
Image Number: 179726
Caption: Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothies on my head? I'm glad you huff asked. Studies huff show that sitting all huff day long behind a desk leads huff to obesity, sickness, huff toe-swelling huff and an early, huff excruciating huff death. So more huff and more huff office workers are using huff standing desks huff with treadmills. Have you ever huff tried handing someone huff a smoothie while running huff on a treadmill? They walk ... Walk.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-20 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-20 Pub. Date: 2019-07-20
Image Number: 178564
Caption: Sadie, how can I convince my husband that a vacation is worth paying for? Excellent question. In my day, vacations were an essential component of a successful marriage. I would get two weeks a year to don a bikini, sit on a tropical beach amidst coconuts and oiled-up cabana boys, and recharge my yelling voice. And he would stay home working and have two weeks to live in dread of my imminent return. It was a win-win situation, really. What were we talking about again? Um ... nothing. Thanks.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-11 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-11 Pub. Date: 2019-05-11
Image Number: 177533
Caption: You wanna come to my boy's soccer game, Clyde? Depends, bruh. When them little kids kick him the ball, do he still wander off, sit down, an' pick dandelions? That was last month. He's gotten a lot better since then. When the coach tell him to play goalie, an' the kids be runnin' at 'im ... Do he still wet hisself? That was just a phase. Too bad. That !@#$ was entertaining.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-23 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-23 Pub. Date: 2018-12-23
Image Number: 175261
Caption: Online shopping has ruined everything. The mall just laid me off to cut costs. Really? It's going to ruin Christmas. I was the mall Santa. Now where are the tiny kids and babies going to go to sit on a stranger's lap and tell him what they want under their tree? Where are they going to go to hear a man who'll say ho ho ho? Who'll pat them on the head? Who'll tell them to stop begging for handouts? Who'll tell them to stop crying, get a job, and pull themselves up by their own bootstraps? You sure they laid you off because of online shopping? Who's going to give them a copy of The Art of the Deal and send them on their way?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-22 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-22 Pub. Date: 2018-11-22
Image Number: 175066
Caption: I heard a passerby comment that a plane has been stuck on the tarmac for seven hours and the passengers are furious. That's because they don't realize that life in a stranded plane is better than no life at all, Rosencrantz. They could sit there and think At lease we haven't crashed. And they've got all the peanuts and ginger in the world. I heard they've run out of peanuts. There will be blood. Spare change?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-02 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-02 Pub. Date: 2018-04-02
Image Number: 170148
Caption: Goodnight, son. I hafta poop. Are you telling daddy the truth? Yeth. That's the third time you've told me that tonight. And every time, you don't poop. You just sit there and ask me to bring you toys. You're stalling for time, son. I'm on to you. Have you ever heard of The Boy Who Cried Poop? I hafta poop.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-16 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-16 Pub. Date: 2018-02-16
Image Number: 168417
Caption: I can't get over Black Panther, Clyde. Me neither, bruh. I ain't never had to sit next to no dude wearin' nothin' but black body-paint before. I tried spandex, but it still looked too puffy. Bruh … It's not my fault Disney made Black Panther's costume so skintight. Can ... can we not talk 'bout it no more?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-07 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-07 Pub. Date: 2018-02-07
Image Number: 168182
Caption: Have you ever lost time, Susan? Sure. Everyone zones out sometimes. Cool, cool. But hey, have you ever, like, dropped your kid off at preschool, gone home, sat on the couch, and then after what feels like just five minutes, your alarm goes off telling you six hours have passed and it's time to go pick him up already? That's the kind of lost time I'm talking about. Reason number 398 why I'll never have children. I'm pretty sure I was abducted by aliens yesterday, is what I'm saying.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-18 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-18 Pub. Date: 2018-01-18
Image Number: 167358
Caption: This C-Dog. Whachoo want, fool? Clyde, it's me, Lemont. I just wanna say thanks for watching Lionel for me tonight. Just an FYI: I'm potty training him, so please don't put a diaper on him till bedtime. Also, he's refusing to use the potty, so he may jump up and run around the house in mid-poop. Why you ain't tell me all this BEFORE I agreed to watch him?! No reason. (Originally published on 2015-12-31)
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-15 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-15 Pub. Date: 2017-04-15
Image Number: 156723
Caption: 1982. I don't like going to the doctor. My Uncle Benny went to the doctor and never came back. Plus, there are lots of sick people there. How is it a good ideas to go sit in a waiting room where everyone has the plague? Plus, I believe in the Vulcan philosophy of mind over matter. If Spock could trance himself free of those killer alien spores, I could do that too. You're going to die young, Lemont. No, I'm going to live long and prosper.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-11 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-11 Pub. Date: 2017-02-11
Image Number: 154242
Caption: What's wrong with you? I thought sitting on the sidewalk crack would make me happier. But after the initial thrill wore off, it became apparent to me it was no different from sitting beside it. This upends the entire paradigm, Rosencrantz. It means the hereafter is no happier than the ... the therebefore. I'm pretty sure "therebefore" hasn't been an actual word for a long, long time, Tyrone. And has that realization made you any happier?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-24 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-24 Pub. Date: 2016-12-24
Image Number: 152374
Caption: Merry Christmas. Sheep. What? What do you mean "sheep"? I mean, when we hit certain days on the calendar, people programming kick in. You gon' buy gifts, kill a bird, eat stuffing out its butthole, an' sit in a room with people you don't care enough about to visit the rest of the year ... 'cause you're s'posed to. Happy Sheep Day, bruh. I said Merry @#$% Christmas!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-03 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-03 Pub. Date: 2016-12-03
Image Number: 151555
Caption: Dear Telemarketer, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Are you happy with your current chair? Or does sitting in it hour after hour make your lower back sore? Do you feel the pain slowly spreading up your spine and spread out like calloused fingers gripping and squeezing your ribs? Why don't you think about that for a few hours after you hear the beep. Beep.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-06 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-06 Pub. Date: 2016-10-06
Image Number: 149309
Caption: I heard a passerby comment that a plane has been stuck on the tarmac for seven hours and the passengers are furious. That's because they don't realize that life in a stranded plane is better than no life at all, Rozencrantz. They could sit there and think "at least we haven't crashed." And they've got all the peanuts and ginger ale in the world. I heard they've run out of peanuts. There will be blood. Spare change?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-05 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-05 Pub. Date: 2016-10-05
Image Number: 149308
Caption: Dick, a friend of mine is sitting in a plane that's been stranded on the runway for six hours. We handle all the TSA's advertising. I know they don't have authority over that, but … say no more, Ms. Garcia. You want me to call them … and get your friend released from that plane by any means necessary. No, never mind. I'll call them myself. I'll tell them of his extensive travels in Syria. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-29 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-29 Pub. Date: 2016-09-29
Image Number: 149028
Caption: Is that seat taken? Ted Striker Memorial Airport. Candorville/Canardville. Which one? This one here at the end. Oh, that one. Yeah, it's taken.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-07 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-07 Pub. Date: 2016-09-07
Image Number: 148216
Caption: Good news, Lemont! I can watch your son for you while you're in Canada. What? You mean it? You won't be "washing your hair," or "having client meetings," or "visiting your aunt in Cameroon" … or any of the other reasons you've always given me for why you can never baby-sit? By "I," I mean Olga, the nanny I hired for while you're in Canada. Dios mio.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-18 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-18 Pub. Date: 2016-08-18
Image Number: 147388
Caption: Susan's out of town next week. Momma's got plans. My old boss is going to be on a fishing trip. My mailman is going to be eloping in Vegas. The corner hobo is going to be out of town at a convention. Ok, now I'm feelin' a little less honored that you asked me to watch yo' son for you. Just don't tattoo him like you did my goldfish.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-17 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-17 Pub. Date: 2016-08-17
Image Number: 147387
Caption: Hi, momma, how are you? I need to go overseas for a week. Wanna watch your grandson? … Oh … a cruise? Who with? Aunt Alta Faye? Aunt Laverne? Aunt Julie? Please tell me "the mailman" is a long-lost aunt. Is it possible when I person says, "I'm packing 50 Shades of Gray," she's talking about hats? ... Please say yes.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-16 sit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-16 Pub. Date: 2016-08-16
Image Number: 147386
Caption: I'm going to Uganda next week to write an article about their harsh anti-gay laws. Can you watch my son for me while I'm gone? I wish I could, Lemont, but I have a mmble to do so I just can't. You just mumbled. You didn't say an actual thing. No, I don't think that happened.
     
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