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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-13 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-13 Pub. Date: 2019-09-13
Image Number: 179398
Caption: The world's going to censored Susan. I don’t think it's wrong for me to want one last shot at absolute euphoria. How about it, Susan? Just you and me. But … Lemont … What about your girlfriend? I don't think she'd mind if I saw Coming to America 2 with you.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-22 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-22 Pub. Date: 2019-08-22
Image Number: 179096
Caption: 80s toys was no joke, bruh. My Voltron had a sword that oculd put a kid eye out. 'Member how my Shogun warrior had a gist that shot off an' would go right down a kid throat if you aimed it wrong? 'Member that time us kids was all mail-ordering razor sharp Ninja throwing stars? I still don't agree that kids today are too soft. A few childhood lacerations never hurt nobody.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-10 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-10 Pub. Date: 2019-05-10
Image Number: 177532
Caption: What happened, bruh? When we was kids, most we had to worry about was someone had a knife. Didn't nobody bring guns to preschool an' terrorize little kids, Big L. We even had massive gang wars on campus in high school, an' not one person got shot. Ah … the good old days. In my day, we had to wait 'til we was walkin' home to get shot at.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-09 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-09 Pub. Date: 2019-05-09
Image Number: 177531
Caption: Do you understand now why I never want to have kids, Lemont? You hate kids. No, I love them. And I don't want them living in a world where they have to be taught what to do in case of an active shooter. It's not the world, Susan. It's America. You could move to lots of places where school shootings don't happen. Well ... can I move to someplace that won't be affected by climate change? It's ok to admit you just don't like kids.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-08 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-08 Pub. Date: 2019-05-08
Image Number: 177530
Caption: So … today was the day Toddlerville Day Care taught your son what to do if an active shooter hunted them in the potty? Yeah. The kids took turns standing on toilet seats and scrunching down so the shooter can't see their feet or head. What're they going to have to teach them next, how to escape through a window after they break it with a ... whachoomacallit? Safety hammer. Lionel wanted the Paw Patrol safety hammer, but they gave him the Kermit one, so he's pretty upset. Stop. I can't take any more.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-07 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-07 Pub. Date: 2019-05-07
Image Number: 177529
Caption: Little Lionel said Toddlerville Day Care had another active shooter drill today. They practiced how to hide under their desks and stifle their cries while they heard gunshots and saw friends die. Lionel was so proud that they chose him to play one of the fallen victims. All we had to rehearse for was the school play. Tomorrow they practice what to do if it happens while they're in the potty.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-06 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-06 Pub. Date: 2019-05-06
Image Number: 177508
Caption: I applied for a Home Depot credit card, Susan. What? Why? You rent. How much Home Depot stuff could you need? Well, when I picked little Lionel up from Toddlerville day care and asked him what he learned today … he said they learned how to barricade the door and hide form an active shooter. This country is sick. Toddlerville told me they didn't have the budget for bulletproof doors, so I figured I'd build them some.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-13 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-13 Pub. Date: 2019-03-13
Image Number: 176726
Caption: This just in: Police arrest 80 protesters and journalists after the D.A. refuses to indict officers for shooting an unarmed … Click. North Korea is rebuilding a nuclear missile test site and appears to be targeting your house. Click … in London, second man appears to have been cured of HIV. Side effects of the cure include drowsiness, sneezing and zombiism. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... Mun mun mun -
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-13 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-13 Pub. Date: 2019-02-13
Image Number: 176283
Caption: Your trippin' bruh. Ancient Greek philosophers ain't responsible for slavery in America. Academics an' politicians an' slave owners used Aristotle an' Plato's words to justify they own actions. But so what? Bigots don't need justification. That's why they bigots. They'da done all that regardless. Is this about how your album was blamed for all those people who sold fake Botox shots? Sling that Buttox didn't make nobody do nothin' they wasn't already gonna do.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-18 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-18 Pub. Date: 2019-01-18
Image Number: 175844
Caption: I read your new article about Jazmine Barnes getting shot. What'd you think? I think you were right about gang violence and about fatherless homes and about uneducated, hopeless young men. But you were dead wrong about gun control, and about taxpayer-funded daycare and youth camps, and about pouring tax dollars into poor school districts. So ... you like pointing out problems, but you hate pointing out solutions. Is solutions the name of your Marxist unicorn?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-17 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-17 Pub. Date: 2019-01-17
Image Number: 175843
Caption: You writin' another article about them two that shot little Jazmine Barnes? Her death has to mean something. America cared because people thought racism cause it. Now that we know it didn't … This is an opportunity to get America to care about what did cause it. America caused it. I mean specifically.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-16 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-16 Pub. Date: 2019-01-16
Image Number: 175842
Caption: I read your article 'bout how it turned out the @#$% that shot that black girl was black, not white. I read the comments under it. It was almost nothin' but white people gleeful about it. They was so busy rubbing it in your face, they forgot they talkin' 'bout the murder of a precious little girl. I don't think I've ever heard you say gleeful before in my whole entire life ... or precious. @#$% ... Them bigots got me all turned 'round.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-15 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-15 Pub. Date: 2019-01-15
Image Number: 175841
Caption: Hah! You race-baiters got owned! I read your article last week about that little black girl who got shot. How embarrassing for you. When the police said the suspect was a white man in a truck, you all wanted to talk about racism. But it turned out the real shooter was a couple of black guys. Now you're talking about guns and gangs, but not one mention of racism. It's normal to chance your focus when you get new facts. Ha! You flip-flopper. Bet you wish you hadn't made such a big deal out of a little girl getting shot.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-14 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-14 Pub. Date: 2019-01-14
Image Number: 175840
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Jasmine barns, the little black girl who was killed in a shooting. When the police said the suspect was a white man, I was shaken. I was scared. I was afraid it was one more example of racism getting out of control in America. But when the police later said no, the real killer were black ... I felt ... I felt ... relief. That's normal, Lemont. Don't be too hard on yourself. How bad off are we when we can think Oh good, it's just normal gun violence.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-12 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-12 Pub. Date: 2019-01-12
Image Number: 175741
Caption: This country's overrun with people who hate talking about racism more than they hate racism itself. I wrote an article about a breaking story. I called it White Man in a Pickup Truck Shoots into Black Family's Car, Kills Seven-Year-Old. Hundreds of people replied Why do you have to bring race into it? Bet they came up with all kinds of excuses. On of them said Some pickup-truck drivers just really don't like cars.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-31 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-31 Pub. Date: 2018-12-31
Image Number: 175656
Caption: This year's been awful. Babies in concentration camps … journalists under attack … school shootings … Dr. Noodle. What right do I have to be upset about my own personal problems when all that's going on? I'll repeat the question: You and your girlfriend haven't visited each other in over a year. What do you think that means? How can you talk about that when we have only twelve years to stop climate change? Very interesting. M.A.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-02 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-02 Pub. Date: 2018-11-02
Image Number: 174719
Caption: Was the foster family child protective services put you with nice to you, son? Yes! We aw got the watch the Amewican fwag on tv, and we got to pwedge awegiance to Donawd Twump. You meant that the other way around, right? … right? I leawned to shoot a Kawashnikov and a wocket wauncher.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-28 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-28 Pub. Date: 2018-09-28
Image Number: 174195
Caption: I have to admit, Big L, you getting' better. You made two shots. In the right basket. I was proud, bruh. I was in the zone. It was like I was a leaf blowing on the wind. A pebble floating in the river … Almost nobody even laughed this time when you tried to dunk an' missed the rim. You noticed that?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-27 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-27 Pub. Date: 2018-09-27
Image Number: 174194
Caption: I think my son's ready to learn a sport. Whachoo gon' teach him, Lemont? You gon' teach him to bounce the ball off his foot an' chase after it 'fore it go in the street? Or you gon' teach him to get the ball swatted out his hand when he try to shoot? Or you gon' teach him to miss the rim an' the backboard altogether? None of that has ever happened. In the same game. You gon' teach him to make his one an' only shot in the wrong basket?
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-28 shot 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-28 Pub. Date: 2018-05-28
Image Number: 171945
Caption: Would you be disappointed in me if I agreed to create an ad campaign for the NRA? Of course not. In fact, I have an idea. Why don't you do an ad about how the NRA saved us all from smart gun technology that would've made sure only authorized users could fire a gun. I mean, that tech alone would've prevented most school shooting. Thank got the NRA put a stop to that. I really hate sarcasm Mondays. We really dodged the dodge-a-bullet bullet thanks to them.
     
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