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The Short Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-11 short 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-11 Pub. Date: 2016-09-11
Image Number: 147720
Caption: Remember that time Donald Trump tried to "reach out to black voters"? Of course. That was just last month. The same day he tried to "reach out," he was asked about his "Make America Great Again" thing. They asked him what period in American history was "great." Trump said the '80s and the Industrial Revolution era, which was in the 1800s. In the '80s, there was that "drug war" that put more black people in jail than white people for havin' basically the same drugs. Plus we had to wear them short gym shorts. No dude should wear shorts that short. Ever. For a couple obvious reasons ... An' if there's one way to reach out to black people, it's to tell us the 1800s was good times. Just to be fair, there's no evidence he actually knows what happened in the 1800s.
     
2. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2016-09-10 short 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2016-09-10 Pub. Date: 2016-09-10
Image Number: 148200
Caption: He always expresses his wit in short quips. The pith of least resistance!
     
3. Comic Strip Kieran Meehan  Pros & Cons 2016-09-03 short 
Cartoonist(s): Kieran Meehan
Comic/Cartoon: Pros & Cons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-03 Pub. Date: 2016-09-03
Image Number: 147775
Caption: We're all tired and emotional. I'm not! Me neither. All right I'm tired and emotional. You two are short-tempered and irritable.
     
4. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2016-09-01 short 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2016-09-01 Pub. Date: 2016-09-01
Image Number: 147759
Caption: Dino "World's Worst Life Coach". I am short! I am overweight. - And doggone-it people tolerate being around me for short periods of time! I was hoping for more ambitious affirmations I'm a life coach, Picasso. I'm not Vince Lombardi.
     
5. Comic Strip Rina Piccolo  Tina's Groove 2016-08-30 short 
Cartoonist(s): Rina Piccolo
Comic/Cartoon: Tina's Groove
Viewable Date: 2016-08-30 Pub. Date: 2016-08-30
Image Number: 147808
Caption: I've hit my second wind. Once I get a momentum, I can just keep going and going said the servers within earshot of a manager short of staff & big on overtime Bwa-aah!! Schedule. Tina.
     
6. Comic Strip Jim Borgman Jerry Scott  Zits 2016-08-28 short 
Cartoonist(s): Jim Borgman Jerry Scott
Comic/Cartoon: Zits
Viewable Date: 2016-08-28 Pub. Date: 2016-08-28
Image Number: 147225
Caption: March April May June July August September October November. Short summer. Totally. I barely had time to unlearn.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-15 short 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-15 Pub. Date: 2016-08-15
Image Number: 147397
Caption: I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy. It did? Oops. "Oops" is right. I'll have to take that our of your pocket. Whatever. That's fine with me. Since it happened in 2001, that comes out to $298 when you factor in compound interest and opportunity cost. Very bad man.
     
8. Comic Strip Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2016-08-11 short 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2016-08-11 Pub. Date: 2016-08-11
Image Number: 146828
Caption: Whoa, Mike looks great. I could stand to lose a few pounds. Did he say how he lost the weight? Short answer He got a divorce Oh. I don't want to spend that much.
     
9. Comic Strip Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker  Beetle Bailey 2016-07-31 short 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker
Comic/Cartoon: Beetle Bailey
Viewable Date: 2016-07-31 Pub. Date: 2016-07-31
Image Number: 145866
Caption: Are you ready for the general's inspection, Beetle? I think so. My bed is made, my clothes are put away, my floor is swept. My boots are polished, my uniform pressed, my gun is shiny. Everything is perfect! Okay, stand at attention. He's coming! Pop! Sproing! Rip! Clunk! I'm sorry, my stuff only behaves for a short time.
     
10. Comic Strip Alex Hallatt  Arctic Circle 2016-07-25 short 
Cartoonist(s): Alex Hallatt
Comic/Cartoon: Arctic Circle
Viewable Date: 2016-07-25 Pub. Date: 2016-07-25
Image Number: 146164
Caption: The current hop shortage could be serious. Beer. More beer. Nah Howard only sprained his ankle.
     
11. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2016-07-07 short 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 143712
Caption: I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.
     
12. Comic Strip Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker  Beetle Bailey 2016-07-07 short 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker
Comic/Cartoon: Beetle Bailey
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 145269
Caption: Why are you practicing golf? To get good enough to beat the general. You left that shot 12 feet short of the pin. That's good enough!
     
13. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2016-07-05 short 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2016-07-05 Pub. Date: 2016-07-05
Image Number: 145316
Caption: Earl, you're using the wrong fork. The short fork is for the salad. Oh, well excuuuuse me! What about the soup spoon? Do I hold it curvy side up or down?
     
14. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2016-07-04 short 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2016-07-04 Pub. Date: 2016-07-04
Image Number: 145343
Caption: Don's Camper Sales. We're looking for a pop-up.
     
15. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2016-07-01 short 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2016-07-01 Pub. Date: 2016-07-01
Image Number: 144310
Caption: Hi! I'm Sue! But people call me Susanabanana for short! What? Why would I say that? It's dumb. Duh. You're a dummy. Well, I prefer to be a smart dummy. There's no such thing! And it's not funny!! Oh. A brain-numb dummy, that's funny? Hold on - is this part of our script?
     
16. Comic Strip Hilary Price  Rhymes with Orange 2016-06-28 short 
Cartoonist(s): Hilary Price
Comic/Cartoon: Rhymes with Orange
Viewable Date: 2016-06-28 Pub. Date: 2016-06-28
Image Number: 145019
Caption: The Bistro. For dessert, the shortbread, extra short. I'm not very hungry - I'll have one Mahi and one cous.
     
17. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2016-06-23 short 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2016-06-23 Pub. Date: 2016-06-23
Image Number: 144673
Caption: What about you, Mike? Would you ever date a robot? Probably not. - I long for the warm touch of a reality-show obsessed, selfie-taking junkie with the short, lit fuse of irrationality only found in women. How are you still on the market? I know, right?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-19 short 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-19 Pub. Date: 2016-06-19
Image Number: 144040
Caption: Give me whatever and make it fast. What? What do you mean? My wife gave me ten minutes of freedom for Father's Day. And I burned through three of those just sprinting over here. We have four children and a fifth one any day now. She's tired in bed so I'm on 24/7 kid duty. I haven't left the house, taken a shower, or gone potty by myself since 2015. My ear hairs are skinny secret babies that whisper to me at night that I may be going insane. So for Father's Day, my loving wife granted me ten fleeting moments of me-time, which I choose to spend buying expensive coffee in a run-down cafe, like I used to do when I was young and single and had all the time in the world. Mom wants to know when you'll be back. Tell the short person I can't hear it for another 5 minutes and 48 seconds! Sometimes I'm glad I can't even get a date.
     
19. Comic Strip Chris Browne  Hagar The Horrible 2016-06-18 short 
Cartoonist(s): Chris Browne
Comic/Cartoon: Hagar The Horrible
Viewable Date: 2016-06-18 Pub. Date: 2016-06-18
Image Number: 144303
Caption: I'm sick of going home to the pitter-patter of little feet running around the house! Cheer up! Kids are a blessing! It's not kids! It's my wife's short boyfriend running out the back door!
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-11 short 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-11 Pub. Date: 2016-06-11
Image Number: 144242
Caption: I'll admit, yesterday I was off my game. I made a rookie mistake and you bested me, nemesis. But I'll take comfort in the fact that the internet has ruined your ability to convert short-term memories into long-term ones. Today's Special Latte + 1hr web $12.50. You won't recall minute details of your day ... All you'll remember are the parts that stick out most, such as me yelling ... you're such a loser! Joke's on you, I won't even remember that.
     
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