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Candorville

Comics about things that are sexual .

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-08 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-08 Pub. Date: 2018-10-08
Image Number: 174387
Caption: You know they're working on robots you can have nookie with? Aiight, bruh, that's it. C-Dog puttin' a stop to this train wreck right here. I don't put up with your Star Track, an' your Babylon 9, an' your Yoda voicemail greeting, but this spit just got outta control. I'ma go get Pookie an' Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys, an' we gonna have you an intervention. I didn't say I was going to buy one, or anything. Go home an' say goodbye to your Doctor Who toothbrush, bruh.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-02 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-02 Pub. Date: 2018-10-02
Image Number: 174289
Caption: I'm the one who brought in all our dark money accounts, sir. Especially Judicial Jerkpac. They hired us to create ads polishing off the rough edges of their favorite judicial nominees. But Judge Groperman is accused of sexual assault. I'm not sure you're the right man for this one, Garcia. I'm just as capable as any man of abandoning my principles to defend lowlife scum. It's called being a professional You mean alleged lowlife scum.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-01 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-01 Pub. Date: 2018-10-01
Image Number: 174288
Caption: Sir, I saw you assigned the Judge Groperman account to Dick Fink. That's my account, sir. Why would you do that? Now that Groperman's been accused of attacking a woman, I thought maybe you would be more comfortable not handling his P.R. campaign. I see. Are you sure it's not because you're afraid I'll sabotage the campaign to make sure the state senate rejects his nomination? Yayle. I would never even think of doing such a thing. Clearly not. All cretins are innocent until proven guilty.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-29 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-29 Pub. Date: 2018-06-29
Image Number: 172491
Caption: Ms. Garcia, I just want to thank you for trusting me to handle the Ask Sadie Show account. I've been waiting for a chance to prove myself. When I opened your memo this morning, I got right to work on a ten-step action plan. I wasted no time. I promise I won't let you down. I sent you that memo last year, Courtney. Step one is to tell you I disagree with having Kevin Spacey do the voiceover.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-10 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165352
Caption: I've been racking my brain trying to think of every interaction I've ever had with a woman. Dr. Noodle. I mean, when I was in my twenties, I did what guys in their twenties often did: I hit on women. Lots of them. We used to think that if a lady wasn’t interested, we just weren't trying hard enough. There were books about how to be more clever. How to be a pickup artist. There were times at the club when I was dancing with a lady, thought I had a shot, and went in for a kiss. Sometimes they didn't even know they were into me until I kissed them. But then they kissed back. Other times, they pushed me off and that was that ... or so I thought. Now, at any moment, some random woman could come forward and ruin my life. Well, lets start by acknowledging it's a healthy thing for society that men are learning what it's like to live in fear, for a change. Doesn't feel healthy.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-26 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-26 Pub. Date: 2017-11-26
Image Number: 165350
Caption: Women and men are coming forward and exposing all the powerful guys who've sexually harassed them. Its making me feel awfully worried and guilty. Dr. Noodle. Why? I'm worried that at any moment, a victim is going to come forward and ruin my life. That's natural. Think about it this way, though. If whoever it is you abused does come forward, you'll have a chance to come clean and clear your conscience. Huh? I've never abused anyone. I'm confused. I've already lost "House of Cards." This seems to be so pervasive, I could lose everything I spend my life watching. What'll I lose next, "Walking Dead"? "Man in the High Castle"? ... If they take "Big Bang Theory" my life'll pretty much be over. Just curious: Have you ever heard the phrases "get a life" and "it's not about you"? Hence the guilt.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-22 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-22 Pub. Date: 2016-12-22
Image Number: 152372
Caption: Why won't you tell me any details about your rendezvous with "Vancouver"? It's because you want to know so badly. Your eyes get all wide and you seem to feel you're about to hear something amazing. That's an awful lot of pressure, Susan. It makes it hard for me to get going. Don't feel bad. That happens to all storytellers, Lemont. It's never happened to me before.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-06 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-06 Pub. Date: 2016-11-06
Image Number: 149972
Caption: I don't care about anything I've heard lately, I'm still voting for Donald Trump on Tuesday. Yeah, maybe he teaches young men it's ok to objectify and assault women. And maybe he teaches young women that they're worthless. But we're not electing a "role model." And sure, maybe he's a tad racist. But we're not electing a "sensitivity trainer." Sigh. Newsweak. And yeah, maybe he hasn't paid income taxes ever since "Pocahontas" was in theaters, but we're not electing a "Taxpayer in Chief." And sure, maybe he's far better at alienating people than he is at winning them over. But we're not electing a "leader." ... What? Nothing.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-02 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-02 Pub. Date: 2016-11-02
Image Number: 150473
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, your ten-year-old grandson just groped me, said something lewd … and then told me if I can't take it, I shouldn't be in the business world. Yayle. CEO of the Year. 2002. My bad. I accidentally left a newspaper lying around, and he read some quotes from Donald Trump and his son. Now he wants to be just like them. "My bad" can't fix everything, sir. You're right. My bad.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-22 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-22 Pub. Date: 2016-10-22
Image Number: 149909
Caption: I don't care what the evidence says, the "Central Park Five" were guilty of assaulting that woman! I said it before and I'll say it again: what were they doing there in the first place, playing checkers? Trump. Seriously, Mr. Trump? Why would black and brown kids be in a park? SERIOUSLY? EXACTLY! You see my point. Very suspicious.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-21 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-21 Pub. Date: 2016-10-21
Image Number: 149908
Caption: Mr. Trump, in 1989, a white woman was assaulted in Central Park. Five black and brown teens confessed. Vancouver Taxi. You took out a full page ad demanding the death penalty. In 2002, they were all proven innocent. The real perpetrator confessed, DNA evidence exonerated them, and courts found the cops had coerced their confessions. Yet just two weeks ago, you insisted they were still guilty anyway ... Why? I'm a better judge of guilt than the evidence is.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-20 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 149907
Caption: Mr. Trump, a couple weeks ago, you said something outrageous and I want to give you a chance to clarify your thoughts. Vancouver Taxi. Listen, all I said was I kiss women and grab their junk without permission. What's the big deal? EVERY guy brags about how he sexually assaults broads. Trump. (A) I was referring to your comment about the "Central Park Five," and (B) ... No, no they don't!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-16 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149095
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes even three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills? They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-17 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-17 Pub. Date: 2016-08-17
Image Number: 147387
Caption: Hi, momma, how are you? I need to go overseas for a week. Wanna watch your grandson? … Oh … a cruise? Who with? Aunt Alta Faye? Aunt Laverne? Aunt Julie? Please tell me "the mailman" is a long-lost aunt. Is it possible when I person says, "I'm packing 50 Shades of Gray," she's talking about hats? ... Please say yes.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-30 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-30 Pub. Date: 2016-05-30
Image Number: 143918
Caption: Bill Cosby's standing trial for criminal sexual assault in Pennsylvania. It's shocking, Susan … Shocking that it doesn't shock me at all to say that anymore. We get used to anything. And I don't know whether that's good or bad. I'm still shocked. Maybe you're just jaded. Eh ... I've heard that a million times.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-12 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-12 Pub. Date: 2016-01-12
Image Number: 137664
Caption: Let me ask you, Mr. Dogg, are you sexually active? I ain't get no complaints. But I don't mean to brag. Plus we don't really know each other like that, so you should mind your business. What? What?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-27 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-27 Pub. Date: 2015-11-27
Image Number: 135626
Caption: You know they're working on robots you can have nookie with? Aiight, bruh, that's it. C-Dog puttin' a stop to this train wreck right here. I done put up with your Star Track, an' your Babylon 9, an' your Yoda voicemail greeting, but this spit just got outta control. I'ma go get "Pookie" an' "Big Oatmeal" an' the rest of the boys, an' we gonna have a intervention. I didn't say I was going to buy one, or anything. Go home an' say goodbye to your Doctor Who toothbrush, bruh. Katrina's Ghost.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-22 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-22 Pub. Date: 2015-07-22
Image Number: 129958
Caption: I still have that awful cough, Susan. Six weeks of gagging and hacking. I haven't heard you cough. That's because it mainly happens at night and when I first wake up. If you want to hear me really hack up a lung, you'll have to sleep with me. How could a girl say no to a line like that? That didn't come out how I meant it to. I hope you feel better soon, Lemont.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-28 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-28 Pub. Date: 2015-03-28
Image Number: 124646
Caption: Clyde, if every romantic relationship you've ever had ended in humiliation and disaster would you try dating someone you already get along with ... maybe a good friend? YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND, YOU KNOW! (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-07).
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-26 sexual 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-26 Pub. Date: 2014-12-26
Image Number: 120259
Caption: I really don't see why you need to show your son "The Cosby Show." Is it because "Cliff Huxtable" raised you? He was the only father I ever knew, Susan. He taught me how to be a man. How to be a father. Yeah, but Lemont ... Your son has you. He doesn't need Bill Cosby. If we only had what we needed, we wouldn't have electricity, clothes or mouthwash. Don't. Change. The subject.
     
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