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Candorville

Comics about sex .

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-20 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-20 Pub. Date: 2019-04-20
Image Number: 177225
Caption: So you're worried that you may no longer be attractive to the opposite sex. Dr. Noodle. That's entirely normal. I felt that way myself at your age. M.A. You did? Sure. There comes a day when you look in the mirror and realize you're not a stallion anymore. Your coat is greying, and your saddle is too tight. When do you get to be the helpful part? M.A. The trick is realizing that a donkey can be just as beautiful ... ish.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-19 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-19 Pub. Date: 2019-04-19
Image Number: 177224
Caption: Do you think I'm losing it, Susan? No, Lemont. I mean sure, you're not as philosophical as you were when we were kids … and you seem a lot grumpier … and you lose things a lot more … and you tell me stories I've heard before … but it's super premature to worry that you're going senile ... Still, you might want to get checked out. I was talking about my sex appeal.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-21 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-21 Pub. Date: 2019-03-21
Image Number: 176838
Caption: Randy, if you could be any animal there is, which one would you be? Easy: I'd be a Bonobo monkey. But not just any Bonobo monkey, I'd be the king of all Bonobo monkeys. They resolve all their conflicts with a little good, old-fashioned, hot, steamy lovin'. They're the best animal to be. DO you agree? Totally, of course. No conflict here.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-08 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-08 Pub. Date: 2019-03-08
Image Number: 176628
Caption: Daddy, what is six twafficking? Uh … What? Where'd you hear that? You were on the phone talking about six twafficking in Flowida. Oh. Well, you know that you're not supposed to listen to Daddy's door when he's being a journalist. So what's it mean? … It means there are six kings in charge of traffic. Oh.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-14 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-14 Pub. Date: 2018-11-14
Image Number: 174937
Caption: There once was a man from Nantucket … who fell in love with his sock puppet. But one fateful day, a bird whisked it away, so the man went and grabbed his musket. What does it say of me, Rosencrantz, that given the alternatives, I was actually relieved when you ended that limerick with gruesome violence? Spare change?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-08 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-08 Pub. Date: 2018-10-08
Image Number: 174387
Caption: You know they're working on robots you can have nookie with? Aiight, bruh, that's it. C-Dog puttin' a stop to this train wreck right here. I don't put up with your Star Track, an' your Babylon 9, an' your Yoda voicemail greeting, but this spit just got outta control. I'ma go get Pookie an' Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys, an' we gonna have you an intervention. I didn't say I was going to buy one, or anything. Go home an' say goodbye to your Doctor Who toothbrush, bruh.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-01 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-01 Pub. Date: 2018-10-01
Image Number: 174288
Caption: Sir, I saw you assigned the Judge Groperman account to Dick Fink. That's my account, sir. Why would you do that? Now that Groperman's been accused of attacking a woman, I thought maybe you would be more comfortable not handling his P.R. campaign. I see. Are you sure it's not because you're afraid I'll sabotage the campaign to make sure the state senate rejects his nomination? Yayle. I would never even think of doing such a thing. Clearly not. All cretins are innocent until proven guilty.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-20 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-20 Pub. Date: 2018-02-20
Image Number: 168661
Caption: Let me ask you, Mr. Dogg, are you sexually active? I ain't get no complaints. But I don't mean to brag. Plus we don't really know each other like that, so you should mind your business. What? What?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-10 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165352
Caption: I've been racking my brain trying to think of every interaction I've ever had with a woman. Dr. Noodle. I mean, when I was in my twenties, I did what guys in their twenties often did: I hit on women. Lots of them. We used to think that if a lady wasn’t interested, we just weren't trying hard enough. There were books about how to be more clever. How to be a pickup artist. There were times at the club when I was dancing with a lady, thought I had a shot, and went in for a kiss. Sometimes they didn't even know they were into me until I kissed them. But then they kissed back. Other times, they pushed me off and that was that ... or so I thought. Now, at any moment, some random woman could come forward and ruin my life. Well, lets start by acknowledging it's a healthy thing for society that men are learning what it's like to live in fear, for a change. Doesn't feel healthy.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-22 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-22 Pub. Date: 2016-12-22
Image Number: 152372
Caption: Why won't you tell me any details about your rendezvous with "Vancouver"? It's because you want to know so badly. Your eyes get all wide and you seem to feel you're about to hear something amazing. That's an awful lot of pressure, Susan. It makes it hard for me to get going. Don't feel bad. That happens to all storytellers, Lemont. It's never happened to me before.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-06 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-06 Pub. Date: 2016-11-06
Image Number: 149972
Caption: I don't care about anything I've heard lately, I'm still voting for Donald Trump on Tuesday. Yeah, maybe he teaches young men it's ok to objectify and assault women. And maybe he teaches young women that they're worthless. But we're not electing a "role model." And sure, maybe he's a tad racist. But we're not electing a "sensitivity trainer." Sigh. Newsweak. And yeah, maybe he hasn't paid income taxes ever since "Pocahontas" was in theaters, but we're not electing a "Taxpayer in Chief." And sure, maybe he's far better at alienating people than he is at winning them over. But we're not electing a "leader." ... What? Nothing.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-22 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-22 Pub. Date: 2016-10-22
Image Number: 149909
Caption: I don't care what the evidence says, the "Central Park Five" were guilty of assaulting that woman! I said it before and I'll say it again: what were they doing there in the first place, playing checkers? Trump. Seriously, Mr. Trump? Why would black and brown kids be in a park? SERIOUSLY? EXACTLY! You see my point. Very suspicious.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-21 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-21 Pub. Date: 2016-10-21
Image Number: 149908
Caption: Mr. Trump, in 1989, a white woman was assaulted in Central Park. Five black and brown teens confessed. Vancouver Taxi. You took out a full page ad demanding the death penalty. In 2002, they were all proven innocent. The real perpetrator confessed, DNA evidence exonerated them, and courts found the cops had coerced their confessions. Yet just two weeks ago, you insisted they were still guilty anyway ... Why? I'm a better judge of guilt than the evidence is.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-20 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 149907
Caption: Mr. Trump, a couple weeks ago, you said something outrageous and I want to give you a chance to clarify your thoughts. Vancouver Taxi. Listen, all I said was I kiss women and grab their junk without permission. What's the big deal? EVERY guy brags about how he sexually assaults broads. Trump. (A) I was referring to your comment about the "Central Park Five," and (B) ... No, no they don't!
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-16 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149095
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes even three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills? They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-17 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-17 Pub. Date: 2016-08-17
Image Number: 147387
Caption: Hi, momma, how are you? I need to go overseas for a week. Wanna watch your grandson? … Oh … a cruise? Who with? Aunt Alta Faye? Aunt Laverne? Aunt Julie? Please tell me "the mailman" is a long-lost aunt. Is it possible when I person says, "I'm packing 50 Shades of Gray," she's talking about hats? ... Please say yes.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-06 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-06 Pub. Date: 2016-08-06
Image Number: 146693
Caption: Where have all the butterflies gone, Susan? Good question. See, this is why I'm more comfortable with a female best friend. I can ask you a simple question about a bug without you questioning my manhood. Think there'll ever be another "Sex and the City" movie? Don't push it.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-08 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-08 Pub. Date: 2016-06-08
Image Number: 144221
Caption: You know how I've been seeing a lady from Vancouver long-distance? Dr. Noodle. I'm finally going to see her again in person, in just two weeks!!! But now I'm terrified. The one time we were together in person, it was hot and steamy and magical. We tend to build things up in our memories, and reality can never live up to our memories. Try to temper expectations. Too late. She's already started calling me "Thor." Ph.D.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-17 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-17 Pub. Date: 2016-05-17
Image Number: 143333
Caption: Prince visits Lemont's dream. I'm not gay, but every time I saw you I thought "Now that's one sexy brother." Even in the eighties, when men were ashamed of thinking things like that. Even then, it didn't feel awkward at all to think that way about you. That's because when you saw me you didn't see the man, you saw pure music. You saw life. Everyone wants to make love to life. That's why it doesn't bother you that you've always wanted to make love to me ... maybe a little awkward.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-12 sex 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-12 Pub. Date: 2016-01-12
Image Number: 137664
Caption: Let me ask you, Mr. Dogg, are you sexually active? I ain't get no complaints. But I don't mean to brag. Plus we don't really know each other like that, so you should mind your business. What? What?
     
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