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Candorville

Comics about senses and sensing.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-14 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-14 Pub. Date: 2019-07-14
Image Number: 178556
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions. (This cartoon was originally published on 2016-07-10).
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-26 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-26 Pub. Date: 2019-05-26
Image Number: 177771
Caption: One of my readers asked me Why do I sense such anger in you? What'd you say? I said That's probably because I'm not a sociopath. I said When people die because they can't afford health insurance, I care. When we tell kids they're nothing without college and then saddle them with loans they can never repay ... I care. When people figure out all sorts of ways to keep black people from voting, I care ... When poor people are being lied to about whether their water is safe to drink, I care. When our President separates toddlers and babies from their asylum-seeking mothers for months, I care. And because I care, I'm angered. I bet being a sociopath is relaxing. I'll relax when there's not more police brutality. Shut up, I'm trying to relax.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-24 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-24 Pub. Date: 2019-04-24
Image Number: 177325
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. He still really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? A lie is not a lie if you believe it. America elected George Costanza president.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-18 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-18 Pub. Date: 2019-03-18
Image Number: 176835
Caption: I'm thinking of becoming a radical alt-right internet sensation. Ok, that's it. You can't just go along with every new trend there is. Some people are painters. Some are musicians. Some compose symphonies. My innate talent is sensing incoming trend waves and surfing their peaks and troughs as with the grace of a dolphin. Being a lemming is not a talent, little buddy. And I'm not sure dolphins "surf." Hold on ... trend wave incoming! It involves ... corduroy ... No, wait ... pancakes.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-08 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-08 Pub. Date: 2019-02-08
Image Number: 176174
Caption: boss, I'm more than just a cashier and a mopper-upper guy. What? If only you'll give me more of a decision-making rule, you'll find that I've got a lot of good ideas. Such as? I, uh … didn't really expect you to ask me right now. I sense a cash register that needs mopping.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-20 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-20 Pub. Date: 2018-11-20
Image Number: 175064
Caption: 1982. Do you ever get claustrophobic, Lemont? What's claustrophobic? I think it's the fear of tight spaces. It's why mama won't fly, or ride the bus, or ride in a car. She walks everywhere. That makes no sense. That should be tight-space-a-phobic. Claustrophobic should mean something else, like a fear of bear claws. Or a fear of Santa Claus. We should make up our own language. What kind of word is language? It should be talkuage.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-13 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-13 Pub. Date: 2018-10-13
Image Number: 174392
Caption: Ima Buvitall @imabuvitall. Turns out processed meat causes cancer. I've heard that. Makes sense meat's at the root of all our problems. After all, if nature intended us to eat meat, we wouldn't have to cook it. Valid point. Ima Buvitall @imabuvitall. That's what the anti-meatists want us to think, anyway. If nature didn't want us eating meat, it wouldn't have made us smart enough to invent cooking. I need a burger. Right @#$% now.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-03 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-03 Pub. Date: 2018-09-03
Image Number: 173879
Caption: I been thinkin' 'bout John McCain, bruh. How the whole country got together to worship him when he died. When he got captured, he tool it like nobody else alive prolly coulda taken it. Can't take that away from him. But he was wrong about a lot. He supported wars, invasions an' arms sales that got a lot of people slaughtered ... but then, so did America. An' that's why people love him. 'Cause if he still cool, that mean the rest of us still cool too. I think it was because of his sense of humor.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-07 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-07 Pub. Date: 2018-07-07
Image Number: 172692
Caption: 1982. Momma says she wants me to be the next Thurgood Marshall. So I asked who that is, and she said he desegregated the schools. And I asked what "desegregated" means, and she said "I'll tell you when you're older." It was at that point that I realized Momma was probably just making up words. What's a "Thurgood"? No, that one makes sense. What has a Thursday ever been bad?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-04 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-04 Pub. Date: 2018-06-04
Image Number: 172068
Caption: Has it occurred to you, Rosencrantz, that we are never there? Wherever we are at any given moment is but a rest stop on a journey form where we were to where we are headed. All of existence is in motion. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if some great being would put its finger on existence and bring it to a halt. Even the great finger could not remain there forever, for the finger is always on a journey to somewhere else. I sense this thesis is about to go sideways, Tyrone.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-03 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-03 Pub. Date: 2018-06-03
Image Number: 171757
Caption: What's wrong wit' you, Big L? Nothing makes sense anymore. In Star Trek, they almost never jump warp speed until they've left a star system. It takes light from the sun about eight minutes to reach earth. It takes 5.3 hours for that same sunlight to reach Pluto. And yet, it only takes the Enterprise one minute or so to leave a star system. Don't you see ... Every time they use their impulse drive to leave a star system they're still traveling faster than light. But they're not yet warping space. That means they should be affected by time dilation. For every second that passes for them, weeks or months should pass back on earth. Just like e'ry second of this conversation for you be like months for me. Exactly! Even you can understand that!
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-02 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-02 Pub. Date: 2018-06-02
Image Number: 171950
Caption: I laugh at those who deem it insane when a man talks to himself, Rosencrantz … for we do not perceive reality. Instead, reality is transmitted through our sensory nodes, converted into electrical impulses, and transmitted across our synapses … whereupon our brains piece the impulses together and form an approximation of reality. Don't you see? Every person I've ever spoken with has been just a voice inside my head. Whatever, Tyrone. It's till creepy when you sing yourself to sleep.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-31 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-31 Pub. Date: 2018-05-31
Image Number: 171948
Caption: The state deleted me from the voter rolls because I supposedly registered at a bunch of different addresses under similar names … so I spent all day tracking down Leroy Braun, Lamarr Boyd, La-Keysha Barnes, Lavert Ballard and Lalo Bustamante. What the … them ain't similar names. That's what Labeeb Bashir said when we tracked down him and Leela Bang. I sense a pattern, bruh. We're all marching to the state building once we find Lalamika Babangida.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-06 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-06 Pub. Date: 2018-05-06
Image Number: 170818
Caption: I saw that article you wrote, where you siad it ain't make no sense that Syria president used chemical weapons. You wrote Don' ya'll fools notice the same exact thing happened last year when the U.S. was talkin' 'bout pullin' out? You wrote All of a sudden Assad gas his own people, an' then we decide to stay an' keep whoopin' Assad *$%. You wrote "Fast-forward a year. Trump talk 'bout leavin' again, an' again Assad gas his own people, an' again Trump change his mind an' decide to stay an' keep whoopin' Assad @#$. You wrote Yeah right, ain't this some @#$#$%. Y'know, when you put someone else's points in your own words, you're supposed to start by saying I'm paraphrasin here. You wrote Y'all crazy to believe homeboy would do the same exact @#$% that backfired on 'im the last time.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-24 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168665
Caption: Hello, mom, you've reached Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out on a date with a girl other than the one you keep trying to set me up with. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as she's broken my heart and I'm ready to come to my senses.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-16 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-16 Pub. Date: 2018-01-16
Image Number: 167356
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe. (Originally published on 2015-12-29).
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-10 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-10 Pub. Date: 2018-01-10
Image Number: 167091
Caption: Did you see that Dave Chappelle special? I turned it off after he started getting political. Politics has no place in comedy. Not in sitcoms, not in comic strips, not in stand-up routines. Except for Donald Trump. Best insult-comic ever. That guy's hilarious. It's all starting to makes sense. He should've picked Andrew Dice Clay for VP, though.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-22 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-22 Pub. Date: 2017-12-22
Image Number: 166287
Caption: Doc, I've been coming here for years. I feel pretty happy. I'm thinking maybe I don't need therapy anymore. That makes perfect sense. It's like when you look in the mirror and see you've finally got bright, shiny teeth. There must be no need to keep brushing them if they're no longer decrepit and begrimed. Brains and teeth are two completely different things. Really? Let's chew on that thought for a moment ...
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-21 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-21 Pub. Date: 2017-11-21
Image Number: 165148
Caption: What's the best way to make a girl forget a guy? Pretend you ain't got no sense of humor. If a bertha don't make a woman laugh, she gonna forget about him real quick. If that don't work, change your number, change your name, an' move to another state. No, I meant I want a girl I like to forget about another guy she likes. I gave one piece of advice a day. Come back tomorrow.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-29 sense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-29 Pub. Date: 2017-10-29
Image Number: 163801
Caption: Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one in the office who notices the boss is a moron. Dr Noodle. Well … is he a moron? Certifiably. I even looked up the definition to be sure. A "moron" is defines as "a stupid person." So then I looked up "stupid" just to be sure. It means "having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense." I see you've given this a lot of thought. Yeah. Problem is, the last time he displayed his dingbattery I lose my temper and said "moron" out loud. The cretin heard about it. So to cover my behind, I had everyone gather around me and I praised him effusively. I laid it on thick, really buttered him up. Any intelligent person would have seen right through that. But your boss bought it. Instantly! See? Moron! How come no one else at works sees it?
     
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