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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-09 |
| Image Number: |
175062 |
| Caption: |
I feel like I'm always the last one to know, doc. Dr. Noodle. Back in high school, I was in a band called Foss. I showed up expecting it to be a grunge thing. I said Hey, how come I'm the only one in flannel? How come no one else is wearing Doc Martens? Where are your goatees? Turned out it was a punk band. Anyway, fast forward to 2018: I run into a couple of the guys and we start to reminisce. I asked What ever happened to Beto? Turns out he became a politician. They all knew it. I was the last to know. Again. It's like I'm the universe's afterthought. You're talking about Beto O'Rourke? The one who just ran for Senate? Yeah. How'd he do? When's he get sworn in?
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-11 |
| Image Number: |
174713 |
| Caption: |
How many people bought your new book, bruh? The Worlds Where They Never Stopped Minorities From Voting? So far it's doing well. I painstakingly went through every single election since ex-slaves won the right to vote … and matched polls and private journals with every recorded instance of voter suppression and every dirty trick from the moment reconstruction ended until today ... Several presidential races, dozens of Senate races, and hundreds of Congressional races would've turned out differently. Our nation's history would've been totally different if minorities were never robbed of their right to vote. It took me eighteen years of research and hard work to piece together alternate histories caused by each changed election outcome. Is there a alternate history where you done told me how many people bought your depressing book? It's doing well.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-10-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-10-01 |
| Image Number: |
174288 |
| Caption: |
Sir, I saw you assigned the Judge Groperman account to Dick Fink. That's my account, sir. Why would you do that? Now that Groperman's been accused of attacking a woman, I thought maybe you would be more comfortable not handling his P.R. campaign. I see. Are you sure it's not because you're afraid I'll sabotage the campaign to make sure the state senate rejects his nomination? Yayle. I would never even think of doing such a thing. Clearly not. All cretins are innocent until proven guilty.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-07-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-07-05 |
| Image Number: |
159981 |
| Caption: |
Lemont interviews California Assembly Speaker Anthony Rendon (D). You single-handedly blocked SB-562, the popular single-payer bill that had already passed the state Senate. That's right. It lacked specifics. I refused to allow the assembly to consider it because it was woefully incomplete. Well ... why didn't you just complete it? Isn't completing it something the assembly can do, Mr. Assembly Speaker? Bsssht ... Bsssht... You're breaking up ...
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-12-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-12-22 |
| Image Number: |
120255 |
| Caption: |
The Senate just released a report admitting America tortured innocent people. And yet most people will still always, reflexively, say "America is the best country in the world." The torture was ... disgusting, depraved, medieval sorts of things. There was even poo involved. POO, Susan. Can we talk about something happy? Now it'll be hard to hear "we're number one!" without thinking of "number two." |
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-04-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-04-06 |
| Image Number: |
109064 |
| Caption: |
You know why the conservatives in the senate killed President Obama's "Debo Adegbile" nomination, right? Lennox. Flatbush. Rollo's Cuts. They said it was 'cause Adegbile represented a "cop-killer" in court. Other people say it's because he's got a record of fighting those voter ID laws, an' Republicans don't want someone in the Justice Department who's good at fighting their voter ID laws. But they're all wrong. You wanna know the REAL reason they killed that nomination? ... Because they could. That still doesn't explain why you shaved an ad for your shop onto the back of my head. |
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2010-11-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-11-20 |
| Image Number: |
54275 |
| Caption: |
Mainstream Media. Obama's Democrats just lost the House of Representatives! Clearly this means the country is repudiating liberalism! Clinton's Democrats just lost the House and the Senate! Clearly this means the country is repudiating liberalism! Reagan's Republicans just lost the House of Representatives! Clearly this country is repudiating conservatism! |
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-12-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-12-28 |
| Image Number: |
28949 |
| Caption: |
Congress considers bailing out yet another failed industry. Maybe your industry's obsolete. Ever thought of that? What if Congress bailed out the horse and buggy industry in 1890? We wouldn't have cars today. What if Congress had bailed out Medieval scriveners? The printing press never would've gotten off the ground. A. Bunker, FEAR, Inc. With respect, there, Senator… (a), My industry ain't never gonna be, whachacall, "obsolate." Sure, you got yer fancy-pants "hope," an' it's all new an' shiny, an' ev'ry meathead wants ta get his mitts on it. ...but all it takes is one good attack, or one serial killa, an' WHAMMO! WE... are back in STYLE! ...An' (b), there weren't no Congress in them Medieval times. Don't get smart. |
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-12-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-12-19 |
| Image Number: |
28821 |
| Caption: |
Senate hearing on the bailout of the comic strip industry. If you allow us to fail, this worldwide recession could easily become a depression. Take it from us, we remember the last great depression. It was exactly the same. Dagwood. B. Google. Congress refused to keep "Little Nemo" alive. Two years later, there were soup lines. Coincidences? Pish tosh! Those raggedy goops were off their trolley! |
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-12-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-12-18 |
| Image Number: |
28820 |
| Caption: |
Senate hearing on the bailout of the comic strip industry. We used to have too many suppliers… …But now we're streamlining operations. Alan Salem. ACME Syndicate. For example, we've consolidated all twelve comics featuring minority characters into one. We believe this will eliminate brand confusion and position us for the future. "Watch your Candoracha, Curtis!" |
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-12-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-12-17 |
| Image Number: |
28819 |
| Caption: |
We believe that the federal government's recent bailout of Wall Street banks… …reinforces the case for providing emergency relief to the domestic comic strip industry. Continued access to newspaper comic strips is even MORE vital to the economy than the free flow of capital. Big L. C-Dog. Many American workers can't start their day until they've taken us into the restroom. We're society's roughage. How 'bout two dollars? Can you loan us two dollars? |
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-12-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-12-16 |
| Image Number: |
28818 |
| Caption: |
Senate hearing on the bailout of the failing comic strip industry. Bankruptcy is not an option, Senator. Our collapse would negatively impact every sector of the economy. The ancillary job loss in the lasagna industry alone would affect tens of people. Garfield. ...I mean "tons" of people. Not to menshun resulteenk fall of zuh zeebah industry. Larry. |
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-12-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-12-15 |
| Image Number: |
28789 |
| Caption: |
The Senate considers bailing out another failed industry. Let's not pussyfoot around the REAL issue: The labor unions are milkin' you dry. Elite workers rakin' in upwards of $9 an hour… Before we give you a dime of taxpayer money… …The unions should be crushed, disemboweled and shot out of the nearest cannon into the gates of hell. Dilbert. Uh...I didn't know the comic strip industry HAD a union. H. Freeman. That's because you're a tool of our corporate overlords. |
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-02-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-02-03 |
| Image Number: |
21418 |
| Caption: |
1994. Polls show most state voters are pro-choice. Romney for Senate. I will protect a woman's right to choose… 2007. Polls show most primary voters are pro-life. Romney for President. …to have the baby. 1994. Voters increasingly support gays. Romney for Senate. Strong is my support for gays in the military... 2007. Polls show voters oppose gays in the military. Romney for President. ...to keep their mouths shut. 1994. Polls show voters favor gun control. Romney for Senate. I strongly support gun control. 2007. Voters oppose gun control. Romney for President. ...because without control, you can't hit that varmint you're aimin' at. Bless you, poll fairy. Polls show voters hate polls. Bless you to hell, foul creature. |
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2007-07-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2007-07-05 |
| Image Number: |
17826 |
| Caption: |
Mr. Cheney, why do you say the Vice President's not part of the Executive Branch? Because the VP casts tie-breaking votes in the Senate. But the Constitution talks about the VP in Article 2, the EXECUTIVE BRANCH article. That doesn't mean anything. Your office is in the White House. How'd you like to be left behind, @#$%. |
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2006-10-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2006-10-02 |
| Image Number: |
14805 |
| Caption: |
Maverick republican senators forced Bush to compromise on his torture bill! Huh? They were really vague. They said he can't torture people, but they didn't define "torture." For the most past they left if up to the president to decide what is and isn't torture. How can you call that a "compromise"? Hello? Let's talk about Tom Cruise. |
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2006-05-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2006-05-29 |
| Image Number: |
13828 |
| Caption: |
Excuse me, but you can't do that. Huh? You were speaking in Spanish. Maybe you didn't know, but our Senate just voted to make English our national, "common and unifying" language. Sorry, Chica. It's just some @#$% jerk telling me how to speak. There, now don't you just feel the unity? |
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2006-05-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2006-05-08 |
| Image Number: |
13668 |
| Caption: |
1986. Some elements of the GOP have suggested "starving the beast" -- Cutting taxes so much that funding government agencies is insufficient for them to function completely. That way, Americans will forget that they used to be able to count on government in their times of need. 2006. Because of its incompetent response to Katrina, the Federal Emergency Management Agency should be disbanded, according to Congress. |
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2005-11-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2005-11-04 |
| Image Number: |
12089 |
| Caption: |
Lemont, guess who my other new client is? I want an ad campaign that says "I'm 100% focuses on New York and I'm not ever thinking about running for president." No problem, Senator Clinton. I want that broadcast in all the key presidential primary states. |
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2005-10-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2005-10-22 |
| Image Number: |
11967 |
| Caption: |
In other news, the log President Bush nominated to the supreme court has made it through confirmation hearings. The log refused to answer questions about abortion, euthanasia, torture, or it's own personal history. Senators complained that all their questions went unanswered. Nevertheless, all republican senators and 22 democrats have signaled they will vote to confirm the log. In other news, Tom Cruise is pregnant. |
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