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Rudy Park

Comics about selling out.

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Result page:    2   (20 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-25 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-25 Pub. Date: 2019-01-25
Image Number: 175966
Caption: You're in a serious relationship. You need a gift that speaks to the depth of your feelings. Computer Villa. I cannot tell you exactly which gift to get. That is your choice - Perhaps a Smart TV or a 3-D printer. Only one thing is certain. You should absolutely max out your credit card. So hard to say it with a straight face. Thank you, wise one.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-25 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-25 Pub. Date: 2018-10-25
Image Number: 174636
Caption: I've got to fight through my creative malaise. I've come up with a list of ways to eek out more money from customers. Let's hear 'em. Charge for extra pads of butter. It's okay, but it's boring. Right. How about: Raise coffee prices; sell only day-old pastries; turn out the lights to save electricity ... Boring, boring, boring. Require people to make their own drinks? C'mon, you're not even trying.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-09 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-09 Pub. Date: 2018-06-09
Image Number: 172100
Caption: What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-18 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-18 Pub. Date: 2018-02-18
Image Number: 168052
Caption: When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper who'd someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didn't know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre cam along and he did it. That's an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks who'd bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe I'd run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiver exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe I'd be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Y'know ... sometimes when we're jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, I've been laundering money for year -- wait this whole thing is confidential right?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-21 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-21 Pub. Date: 2017-08-21
Image Number: 161806
Caption: I'll have a triple-vanilla white mocha and a powdered donut. Also, a Tiki torch. A Tiki torch? Home Depot refused to sell me one for some reason. Then they said "get out." Why would they do that? I don't know. Probably because I was wearing my sheet. But I thought "better safe than sorry." Oh ... Wait, what? At the Charlottesville Klan rally, those guys didn't wear theirs, and plenty of them lost their jobs 'cause of that. Get out.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-13 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-13 Pub. Date: 2017-08-13
Image Number: 160983
Caption: What was it you wanted to talk about, minion? There's a guy from Immigration and Customs Enforcement out front, boss. Oh, that. ICE said someone would stop by to thank me for tipping them off to all the illegals who were hanging out at Muhammad's Bean Pie Shack. What? Why would you do that? Because I'm a patriot. In times like this, every patriot must do his duty. If we have good reason to suspect a bean pie shack is a gathering place for people who shouldn't be here, it's our solemn duty to report it, so it'll get shut down. This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with how you've been looking for ways to boost our bean pie sales, would it? Coincidence. Don't be a conspiracy theorist, minion. Oh, and go tell ICE I have another tip for them. Very bad man.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-18 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 158722
Caption: I forgot my phone at the hotel. How do I get to the planetarium? That depends on how much it's worth to you. What? What do you mean? Do you want the long way or the short way? Do you want the safe way through the cobblestone paths of Lily Pad Meadow … or do you want the treacherous way over the frigid Reaper Mountain Pass? Do you seriously expect me to pay for directions? Is that a serious question? This is America, where we have an obligation to turn a profit on every interaction, unless we're donating to charity for a tax write-off. Unless you're a 501-3c I have to charge you. It's in the Constitution. I only have $5 on me. I'll print out the treacherous directions for you. For an extra $1 I'll make sure it avoids most of the rabid grizzly squirrels.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-06 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-06 Pub. Date: 2017-04-06
Image Number: 156486
Caption: As our CEO-in-Chief has demonstrated, it's good for a businessman to surround himself with children who'll cover for … I mean, help him. I've tried adopting a baby, but the agency grew suspicious just because I asked for the type least likely to sell out its parent. Unfortunately, I can't just clone myself. I need an actual mate if I want to produce accomplices ... I mean "off-spring." Your job, minion, is to craft a date-a-dude.com profile for me that'll recruit ... I mean "attract" a suitable mate. Very bad man.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-11 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-11 Pub. Date: 2016-12-11
Image Number: 151421
Caption: Oh, Liam. I thought you were dead. I thought I would never see you again! Is that why you married … my brother? … Oh, Caroline … it's doesn't matter. When the mafia held me captive in a seaside cave all these years, the only thing that kept me alive was the thought of you. Caroline ... who is that mysterious stranger lurking outside your bedroom window? Is it yet another lover? No, it's me. Frank. The executive producer. You can cut all this out, we've been canceled. The market can't support more than three soap operas anymore. Everyone's busy watching Youtube. But Frank, I've got three more kids to put through college! And another thirty payments on my car! What am I supposed to do, you heartless @#$%?! Wait ... who's that lurking over there outside that other window? I don't know. It's me. Jeff, CEO of the network. We've been sold to Sputum Cable. They're canceling all executive producer contracts.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-12 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-12 Pub. Date: 2016-06-12
Image Number: 143753
Caption: White chocolate mocha, please. Just the drink? Or the combo? What's in the combo? You get the white chocolate mocha, plus a ham sandwich, plus a bag of chips, for $17. Seems pricey. Of course. That's why I only recommend our premium combos to people who can afford them. One look at you and I could tell you're a man of means. You walk with such a swagger - such regal elegance. I wasn't wrong about you, was I? Give me two combos. Just two? Very. Bad. Man.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-23 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139579
Caption: How many people do you think will mourn for you when you're dead, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I live out loud. I've ridden a motorcycle across five continents, making countless friends along the way. I've conducted passionate love affairs in six languages, and taught the ancient art of seduction to sold-out crowds in two hemispheres. As a youth I delivered pizza to lonely housewives, for whom I host an annual reunion in Vegas. A man who lives his life out loud will leave thousands of mourners when he dies. What about a man who lives his life on mute?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-14 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-14 Pub. Date: 2015-08-14
Image Number: 131013
Caption: Boss, there's a tornado outside! It's five minutes late. What? What are you talking about? Dozens of terrified locals just ran into our café seeking shelter. What should I … wait … You couldn't possibly … couldn't possibly have leased an artificial tornado machine from a Canadian inventor? How do you have time to consider such silly ideas when you should be out there selling the refugees comfort food?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-11 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-11 Pub. Date: 2015-01-11
Image Number: 120669
Caption: My new year's resolution is to write a best-selling novel. Did you know "50 Shades of Grey" started out as fan fiction about that vampire book "Twilight"? I just need to repeat that formula: write fan fiction about a popular book and then just change all the names when I'm done. That way, my book will appeal to that same audience and they won't even know why. Which "popular book" are you going to write fan fiction about? "50 Shades of Grey." Only I'll change the names to "Bella" and "Edward," and make them all vampires and werewolves. The literary world won't even see me coming. But they'll sure see you going.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-06 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-06 Pub. Date: 2015-01-06
Image Number: 121146
Caption: You see how empty the cafe is today, Rudy? Yeah. Not a single patron all day. House of Java.net CyberCafe. That's because they're all up the road at Coffee King. I saw them on my way here. Coffee King's lowered its prices and copied your menu. They're selling everything you guys sell, but for half the price. I'm only here out of loyalty. That's very selfless of you. Yeah. Ladies dig selflessness.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-01 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-01 Pub. Date: 2015-01-01
Image Number: 120909
Caption: It's a new year, little buddy. What are you going to do to make the most of it? Throw out the old to make room for the new. Very deep, little buddy. I'm a deep person. If the big-screen tv I got on Black Friday is a whole month old, I'm Zen enough to just breathe ... and let it go, on eBay. Want to hear my Zen mantra? Luckily, I stopped listening 30 seconds ago.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-06 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-06 Pub. Date: 2014-11-06
Image Number: 118566
Caption: I don’t know, man, I think you've taken it a little too far, divvying people up like this. Nonsense. It's a delicate balance. A little depression is good for business. Stimulates the sale of comfort foods. But too much depression, and half of my patrons won't even get out of bed, let alone buy anything. What do you mean "stop"? All I said to that democrat was "nanny-nanny-boo-boo." Yes, but you're in the non-gloating section.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-19 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-19 Pub. Date: 2014-06-19
Image Number: 112746
Caption: I've got to fight through my creative malaise. I've come up with a list of ways to eke out more money from customers. Let's hear 'em. Charge for extra pads of butter. It's okay, but it's boring. Right. How about: raise coffee prices; sell only day-old pastries; turn off the lights to save electricity ... Boring, boring, boring. Require people to make their own drinks? C'mon, you're not even trying.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-09 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-09 Pub. Date: 2014-05-09
Image Number: 111089
Caption: I've invested in a "Google Glass" device and you're going to wear it whenever you talk to a customer. From now on, the moment any customer walks through the door, you're to photograph them, scan them for their face on Facebook, and read their latest status updates, all before they reach the counter. If they're in love and they order coffee, upsell them on out heart-shaped foam. VERY BAD MAN. If they're newly dumped, upsell them on chocolate sprinkles.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-10 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-10 Pub. Date: 2014-01-10
Image Number: 106940
Caption: Ever since you restarted your feud with Mrs. Cohen, our profits have increased 16%. I hope you're happy. I was … but then I crunched some numbers. It turns out that if you give it a little more effort, you can boost that number. 213 of patrons under 60 say they'd stick around longer if it meant they could watch Sadie give you and Atomic Wedgie. How do you live with yourself knowing you're not giving it your all? Pretty well. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2013-12-30 sell out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-30 Pub. Date: 2013-12-30
Image Number: 106929
Caption: Are you sure there are no nuts in this muffin? I'm allergic. Yes, I'm sure … I own the place. Why do you keep asking? Because I noticed you also sell an "adrenaline shot" for $1000. It's right there on the menu. I told Rudy to write that on the ceiling. House of Java Cafe.
     
Result page:    2   (20 images)