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Candorville

Comics about security and securities.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-05 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-05 Pub. Date: 2019-08-05
Image Number: 178904
Caption: Did you know ICE and border patrol are detaining American citizens now? So far it's just a few. They detained 18-year-old Francisco Erwin Galicia for almost a month … even though he showed his state ID and his social security card. His mom showed them his birth certificate proving he was born in Dallas. But they still wouldn't release him ... not until the Dallas morning news reported on it. I still agree with the readers who said it was crude for you to title your article The Press is the Enema of the People.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-29 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-29 Pub. Date: 2019-05-29
Image Number: 177795
Caption: Guess who walked into the offices of Fitzhugh, Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh today? The national security adviser. He said Military-Industrial Death Empire Corp is looking for help marketing their new product, Iran War. This is a big coup for us. McMahon, Tate & Stephens has been handling their advertising ever since the Spanish-American War. Congratulations.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-08 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-08 Pub. Date: 2019-05-08
Image Number: 177530
Caption: So … today was the day Toddlerville Day Care taught your son what to do if an active shooter hunted them in the potty? Yeah. The kids took turns standing on toilet seats and scrunching down so the shooter can't see their feet or head. What're they going to have to teach them next, how to escape through a window after they break it with a ... whachoomacallit? Safety hammer. Lionel wanted the Paw Patrol safety hammer, but they gave him the Kermit one, so he's pretty upset. Stop. I can't take any more.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-14 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-14 Pub. Date: 2019-03-14
Image Number: 176727
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about Jared's security clearance … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about the whole Israel issue ... and Dizzyland revoked my season pass because of that expose I wrote about their horrible hourly pay. I still can't believe so many of their Ricky Mouses and Ronald Ducks are homeless.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-21 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-21 Pub. Date: 2018-11-21
Image Number: 175065
Caption: Dick, a friend of mine is sitting in a plane that's been stranded on the runway for six hours. We handle all the TSA's advertising. I knew they don't have authority over that, but … Say no more, Ms. Garcia. You want me to call them … and get your friend released from that plane by any means necessary. No, never mind. I'll call them myself. I'll tell them of his extensive travels in Syria.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-15 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-15 Pub. Date: 2018-09-15
Image Number: 173987
Caption: Can I share your fries, Clyde? Oh, so now you wanna share. Where was you when I wanted to share your cable tv line? … Or your wifi? Or your Netflix password? Or your social security number? You somehow got all that anyway. I got that one my own, Big L. That's the problem with America today: Erebody want erethang just handed to them.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-24 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-24 Pub. Date: 2018-05-24
Image Number: 171761
Caption: You know what I like best about being a dad? When my little boy curls up in my lap and falls asleep. I hold him tight and know he feels war and safe, and I feel like I can protect him from anything. Even from time. Because as long as he lives, he'll be able to close his eyes and remember this feeling and be two years old again ... hopefully without the wetting himself part. It's important to know when you stop talking.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-24 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-24 Pub. Date: 2018-04-24
Image Number: 170820
Caption: Starbucks HQ. The CEO will me with you in five minutes, Mr. Brown. Good. Say, what do you think of your stores in Philly and LA calling cops and security on black guys who ask to use the john? I really can't say, sir. Why don't you wait in the lounge? We've got a vending machine with coffee. No, thanks. Say, where's your restroom? Whachoo in for, freshmeat? Will you stop calling me that.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-30 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-30 Pub. Date: 2017-09-30
Image Number: 163102
Caption: Dear Lemon Brown: Unfortunately, we at Equifax must inform you that hackers breached our security weeks ago. Your social security number, address, credit history, and pants size may have been compromised. It appears the only personal information of yours that wasn't compromised was your signature. To sign up for our credit monitoring service, please sign here.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-09 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-09 Pub. Date: 2017-08-09
Image Number: 161293
Caption: We're behind a lot of other countries in health care, social mobility, internet service, cellphone service, education … income equality, infrastructure, high-speed trains, voting, democratic representation, linguistic diversity, life expectancy, religious diversity, please, press freedom, child well-being, happiness, sleep, literacy, leisure, retirement security, gender equality, minimum wage, homicide rates, prosperity, the cost of food ... Other than military spending and the number of people we throw in prison, we're behind in almost everything ... so why do people still chant "we're number one!" All the time? Where we is on math?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-27 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-27 Pub. Date: 2017-07-27
Image Number: 160760
Caption: Hey, Lionel, it's daddy! You ready to go home? Everyone hazta go through me. Day Care. What? Who are you, little big man? Themz callz me "Bulldogz." Are you one of Lionel's little friends? Aren't you cute. Anyway, Lionel, let's go home. Dinner's waiting. did you tell my boy to deal with a bully by hiring a 4-year-old bodyguard? No. Ahmz only threeez.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-04 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-04 Pub. Date: 2017-01-04
Image Number: 152857
Caption: I need some new pants. Want to come shopping? I'll pretend you ain't asked me that, Big L. Bruthas don't "shop" together. That's what women do. What, you need me to tell you if them jeans make you look fat? You need me to tell you how pretty you is? Get outta here with that #$%@. Clyde, a man who's secure in his own sexuality isn't afraid to go shopping with another man. I'll pretend you ain't said "sexuality" to me.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-28 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-28 Pub. Date: 2016-09-28
Image Number: 149027
Caption: Divided Airlines. Another one? Out of order. Excuse me, where's the nearest working men's room? Gate 57. Which gate are we at? Gate 2. Totally unrelated question: Where's the nearest potted plant?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-27 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-27 Pub. Date: 2016-09-27
Image Number: 149026
Caption: Ahem. All gates. Ahem. Don't rush me, please. Ahem! @#*! … Well this isn't my shoe.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-26 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-26 Pub. Date: 2016-09-26
Image Number: 149025
Caption: Step in to the machine please, sir. Ted Striker Memorial Airport. Candorville/Canardville. Isn't that the machine that shows me naked? You don't have to go through it. I can have Agent Crotchgrabber pat you down instead. Just make sure this doesn't end up on the internet. No promises.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-02 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-02 Pub. Date: 2016-06-02
Image Number: 143921
Caption: Hi, San Francisco? This is Lemont Brown from Candorville.com, the news blog. You just announced people will be able to reserve a spot of grass in a public park. But they have to go on your website and pay up to $250. And if they sit on grass someone else paid for, they might get tossed out by security. I just have one question: Can people also reserve a spot in the growing gap between the rich and poor? Click. Can I quote you on that?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-30 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-30 Pub. Date: 2016-04-30
Image Number: 142414
Caption: Why do I keep a journal of my son's firsts? Because they're precious moments. Why they "precious"? … Because they happen once and then they're gone forever, living only in a parent's memories. Is they still precious if they ALSO live on in your hard drive, the NSA files and Edward Snowman's briefcase? First time I've ever heard Clyde be so deep. Yeah. I wish I'd recorded that. You ain't never learnin'. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-02).
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-12 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-12 Pub. Date: 2016-04-12
Image Number: 141797
Caption: Can I share your fries, Clyde? Oh, so now you wanna share. Where was you when I wanted to share your cable tv line? … or your wi-fi? Or your Netflix password? Or your social security number? You somehow got all that anyway. I got that on my own, Big L. That's the problem with American today: Erebody want erething just handed to them.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-06 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-06 Pub. Date: 2016-01-06
Image Number: 137377
Caption: I don't see why you want to vote anyway, Tyrone. Whoever you vote for … They're still gonna be corporatist warmongers beholden to Wall Street and the military-industrial-security complex. They'll still trample on the common man. You'd be voting for the lesser of two evils. Why would you want to do that? Because the lesser of two evils is better than the worse of two evils. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-01-27).
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-11 security 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-11 Pub. Date: 2015-12-11
Image Number: 136223
Caption: I love being inside when it's freezing outside. It makes me feel six years old again, Clyde. It's the same feeling I'd get when I built a fort out of couch cushions. What the -- ? Another stereotype bites the dust. You a grown man, dawg. A real man isn't afraid to be six years old. A real "real man" ain't afraid to put a six-year-old on timeout. Go sit in the corner.
     
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