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Candorville

Comics about security guards.

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Result page:     (13 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-28 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-28 Pub. Date: 2016-09-28
Image Number: 149027
Caption: Divided Airlines. Another one? Out of order. Excuse me, where's the nearest working men's room? Gate 57. Which gate are we at? Gate 2. Totally unrelated question: Where's the nearest potted plant?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-12 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-12 Pub. Date: 2015-04-12
Image Number: 124956
Caption: I read the government's using planes to spy on our cellphones. I think it's funny people care about that #$%@. The government been spyin' on me all my life, and didn't nobody care 'bout that. What do you mean? I step out my front door, the police watch from they car. If I walk by a cop, he ask what I got in my jeans. If I walk to 7-Eleven, the police ask where I'm goin'. When I get there, the security guard follow me around the store. Didn't nobody care about "government surveillance" when they thought it only happened to me. Where was Edward Snowman when cops was feelin' me up? Technically, security guards aren't the government.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-06 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-06 Pub. Date: 2010-09-06
Image Number: 51714
Caption: How was your flight home, Lemont? Great! Really? But when you called from the airport, you were griping about how they charge $50 for each bag you check. Pfft! I got around that, easy. I'm just big-boned.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-14 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-14 Pub. Date: 2010-06-14
Image Number: 48465
Caption: Bee-beep. Step back and go through again. But … Proceed, sir. Bee-beep. I thought there was going to be a full-body scanner. … The kind that shows everyone your privates. What's this? Lead underpants. Bee bee beep.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-11 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-11 Pub. Date: 2009-07-11
Image Number: 35973
Caption: Lemont calls the paper. What do you mean James Olsen's not in? I need to know if he got those Iran protest stories I filed. … What do you mean "elbow strain"? … Yes, I know Michael Jackson died. What's that have to -- Every editorial cartoonist in the country sent drawings of Michael Jackson moonwalking through the pearly gates. Mr. Olsen started shouting "Lazy! Cloying! Aaarggh!" Wha -- you're breakin' up. It sounded like you said "He personally beat them all down with a sock full of quarters."
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-15 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-15 Pub. Date: 2009-02-15
Image Number: 29991
Caption: Here we have the nation's newspapers. The Fourth Estate. Traditional guardians of our sacred liberties. Bidding starts at $10 billion. Ten. We have $10 billion. $10 billion going once… $10 billion going twice… No, no! Wait… I meat ten dollars. I take it this isn't the "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" auction. Down the hall, Boosler Ballroom. Sold! For ten dollars to the gentlemen from Mexico. Do you accept pesos?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-06 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-06 Pub. Date: 2008-07-06
Image Number: 24667
Caption: Here we have a system of roads and bridges, a potent symbol of American industrial might! Bidding starts at $2 billion. $2 billion! $3.8 billion! We have $3.8 billion. $3.8 billion going once… $3.8 billion going twice… SOLD! To the gentleman from Australia. Where's the "Thundercats" Underoos auction? Pauly Ballroom, 4th floor. Pardon mois, monsieur, has zee Statue of Liberty sold yet? Not yet. Oh HO HO! We are thinking of buying eet back. Next up, the New York City skyline. Bidding starts at $3 billion. Guten tag! Ve vill bid $4 billion euros! 6 billion dirhams! Salam aleikum.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-03-19 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-03-19 Pub. Date: 2008-03-19
Image Number: 22409
Caption: So. Anon withal comes a curious stranger unto me and says he is on an excursion through time… Huh? …And that I must draw a series of caricatures demanding Abraham Lincoln's guard be aggrandized and called to alert. Is everyone in 1865 so long-winded? I would suggest, sir, a negation of the asides. You mean, "That's not the point."
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-03-07 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-03-07 Pub. Date: 2008-03-07
Image Number: 22136
Caption: Goober Dumnutz? I'm told you're the agent who decided not to check the whole crowd for weapons at Obama's Dallas rally. Sure am! Poppa Goober would be proud. He guarded JFK, y'know. Great Grampa Goober guarded McKinley. Even Great Great Great Grampa Goober was a security guard. At some theater in D.C. Say what? So you see, my security skills are inbred. You mean "inborn"?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-17 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-17 Pub. Date: 2008-02-17
Image Number: 21774
Caption: Here we have a huge stake in a lovely financial services corporation. This bedrock of American capitalism comes complete with the mortgage lenders, consumer credit cards, brokerage houses, and the economic security of the United States. Bidding starts at $20 billion. $20 billion! $30 billion! We have $30 billion. $30 billion going once... $30 billion going twice... SOLD, to the gentlemen from China for $30 billion. Now I know this isn't where they're auctioning off Captain Kirk's toupee. You want Room H360. Here we have a beautiful system of roads and bridges.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-01 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-11 Pub. Date: 2007-03-01
Image Number: 16388
Caption: Fox's show about Obama started with shots of jumping Africans and ended with "Don't tell mama, I'm for Obama." How can you say that's not racist? Thought you'd never ask. What's this? My uncle gave me this book. Changed my whole life. "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others." Page 87: "That security guard's only following you to make sure nothing bad happens to you."
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-10-09 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-10-13 Pub. Date: 2005-10-09
Image Number: 11929
Caption: Meanwhile in an alternative universe where the response to the New Orleans flood was competent … Tuesday, August 30, 2005. Rather than playing golf today, the president sent the National Guard to new Orleans to join rescue efforts which -- instead of being haphazard -- were the result of years of careful planning by local officials. Tuesday evening ... Congress has granted the president emergency powers. The president has ordered police departments across the nation to contribute helicopters and pilots for food drops and to rescue citizens from rooftops. Thousands of national guardsmen have begun arriving in New Orleans. Wednesday, August 31, 2005. The sky is filled with helicopters. The president has ordered Greyhound to send all area buses to New Orleans and calls on truck owners in the region to volunteer evacuate the desperate citizens. Instead of condemning people for taking what they need to survive, the White House has ordered National Guard troops to crack down only on those looting non-essentials. Instead of blaming the victims. the head of FEMA has noted that the poor didn't have the resources to evacuate the city. Thursday September 1, 2005. New Orleans has been devastated, but quick action by authorities gave people enough hope that few resorted to violence. It could have been much worse. And instead of spending thousands of dollars on shoes in New York, Condoleezza Rice is doing her job.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-09-12 security guard 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-09-12 Pub. Date: 2005-09-12
Image Number: 11567
Caption: Two weeks ago …. This just in … Many are asking why emergency response to the New Orleans flood has been so slow…
     
Result page:     (13 images)