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Candorville

Comics about scares and scaring.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-28 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-28 Pub. Date: 2019-06-28
Image Number: 178259
Caption: People will normalize anything, Clyde. If I told you 20 years ago we'd be bombing 7 or 8 countries, jailing babies, and electing bigoted game show hosts as president … you'd probably have had me committed. Nah I'd have turned you out like I did just here. 20 years from now scares me.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-14 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-14 Pub. Date: 2019-01-14
Image Number: 175840
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Jasmine barns, the little black girl who was killed in a shooting. When the police said the suspect was a white man, I was shaken. I was scared. I was afraid it was one more example of racism getting out of control in America. But when the police later said no, the real killer were black ... I felt ... I felt ... relief. That's normal, Lemont. Don't be too hard on yourself. How bad off are we when we can think Oh good, it's just normal gun violence.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-01 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-01 Pub. Date: 2018-12-01
Image Number: 175159
Caption: I've lived a very long time, dork-boy, and I've seen a lot of people die early. I know the signs. What are they? There are too many to tell you in the time we have left. Go out, Rudy. Dance. Smell the petunias … Today. I'm not falling for it. See the world. Well ... see the city, at least.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-04 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-04 Pub. Date: 2018-10-04
Image Number: 174291
Caption: Our meme division is taking fast, people. Some of our best labels are failing. Fear, Inc. Fear of being called a white knight or a social justice warrior aren't scaring men away from speaking up in support of women in online arguments anymore. It's dragging down the whole GDP. Don't be scared, sir. The gross domestic panic index is overrated as an indicator. That puts me at ease. you're fired.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-20 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-20 Pub. Date: 2018-09-20
Image Number: 174075
Caption: Fries are maybe the worst food you could eat. They're high in fat and calories, high in salt, grease and carbs … So they increase your risk of obesity, heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and kidney disease … and if that's not bad enough, they're high in acrylmide, which increases your risk of cancer. Whatever. Still ain't givin' you my fries, bruh. I just want to take them somewhere where they can't hurt anyone.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-15 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-15 Pub. Date: 2018-08-15
Image Number: 173501
Caption: So then I climbed out of the air duct to interview the little refugee. I was four, but now I'm five. It was my birthday. There was something off about his story. Two army men with bayonets put us on a train. We got to ride it for four whole days. Were you scared when they took you from your parents? They didn't. We're all here. We get to stand in line for food together. We get to see the machine guns pointing at us together. Veteran journalist that I am, I didn't jump to any wild conclusions. What year is this? Is this 1942? This is 1942, isn't it. We get to say the pledge of allegiance every day together ...
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-07 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-07 Pub. Date: 2018-03-07
Image Number: 169165
Caption: Have you already had any coffee from that pot, Ms. Garcia? Why do you ask, Terry? Oh … no reason. No reason at all. If you've already had some, you may as well have more. It wouldn't make a difference at this point. Are you trying to scare me away form the coffee so you can have it all yourself? It's been an honor working with you, ma'am.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-01 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-01 Pub. Date: 2018-03-01
Image Number: 168930
Caption: I read your article about the neo Nazi movement overrunning Ukraine. Nice of you to admit Trump is innocent! You mentioned Trump sent weapons to those neo Nazis. Those neo Nazis are Russian's enemy. That's absolute proof he's not in cahoots with Russia! ... unless Putin wants an enemy on his border, to scare his people into following him blindly. Oh please, what wannabe dictator has ever done that sort of thing?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-07 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-07 Pub. Date: 2018-01-07
Image Number: 166341
Caption: I saw that article you wrote about net neutrality being killed. What a bunch of whiny, panicky snowflakery. You wrote "get ready to pay extra to stream your favorite shows and make internet calls." Yeah. Before net neutrality, AT&T throttled Skye and didn't stop until pressured by the FCC and consumers. You scared? You wrote "get ready to pay a fee to connect your smart home to the internet." That's right ... Without net neutrality, there are no rules to prevent your ISP from charging you whatever fees they want. Maybe you need a safe space where the big bad ISP can't get to your piggy bank. You know, you're kind of rude. Oh, you're going to get personal now? You've clearly lost the debate if you have to resort to personal attacks. What the -- you got personal. I was just ... (sigh) ... oh, forget it. Don't get upset. I just won the Gaslighting Association's Internet-Arguing World Championship. I'm just celebrating.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-27 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-27 Pub. Date: 2017-12-27
Image Number: 166535
Caption: There was another police shooting caught on video. An unarmed guy in a hallway begging for his life. The cops were barking orders at him for minutes. The guy looked so scared and confused. I heard 'bout that. I went online an' some of the people be like "Why he didn't follow directions right? I'da shot him too." This the only country where people say you deserve to get shot 'cause you was confused. I asked "Why didn't they taze him" and people said I was "virtue-signaling."
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-17 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-17 Pub. Date: 2017-12-17
Image Number: 165540
Caption: I have to tell you, I'm pretty freaked out by all the Terminator death robots Boston Dynamics has been developing. You too? Of course. Have you seen that Youtube video of their headless wolf-creature murder-bot? About 100 times. Have you seen the humanoid one with a soulless face and wheel-feet that's agile and quick enough to catch you no matter how fast you run? What ... are you scared? Snowflake. What the -- you're the one who brought it all up! Do you have a link proving I brought it up? A "link"? This is real life, not the internet. I heard it! That's my proof.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-05 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-05 Pub. Date: 2017-10-05
Image Number: 163373
Caption: Lemont, you run the seventh most popular news and opinion site online. Why don't you start a Youtube show too? It would be huge. No thanks. I've got principles. It's wrong to crave fame and celebrity. I'm not that full of myself. (Sigh) … Is this about how you're scared to death of public speaking? I'm not "scared to death." I'm principled to death.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-02 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-02 Pub. Date: 2017-07-02
Image Number: 159209
Caption: You ever think maybe the world would've been better off if we'd lost the Revolutionary War? Seriously? You gonna say that right before the Fourth of July? It's just a thought experiment. You scared of thought experiments? C-Dog ain't scared of nothin'. All right. Let's say France never helped us win the revolution. We'd have lost. Britain probably still would've freed the slaves in 1833, so ... No civil war. No backlash to reconstruction, so ... no KKK. France wouldn't have drowned in debt. Their monarchy would've lasted longer, so ... no Napoleon. No Napoleon, no threat uniting German nationalists, so ... no World War I or II ... no Hitler. No Manifest Destiny, so no genocide of Native Americans. The UK wouldn't have turned to the Middle East and Africa to replace its lost holdings, so ... no carving up the Ottoman Empire, no chaos in the Middle East, and no ISIS. Bruh ... if you don't wanna loan me $20 for fireworks, just say so. We'd probably still have black licorice. No getting around that.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-20 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-20 Pub. Date: 2017-04-20
Image Number: 157015
Caption: You know why 'Star Trek' is off the air? Because no one wants to see the liberal Communist utopian propaganda. Think about it: Nobody needs money. Everyone's basic needs for food and shelter are met by the government. What incentive does anyone have to accomplish anything if they're not scared about ending up hungry and homeless? Well ... Boredom's an incentive. Notice how they all wear pajamas all day long. They're work pajamas.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-16 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-16 Pub. Date: 2016-12-16
Image Number: 152114
Caption: There she is! This just got real. What if she doesn't like me in person like she does online? She hasn't seen me in a year, what if I don't turn her on anymore? What if she things I'm just a huge geek, like every other woman has? Knock knock. Eh … just play it cool. Dear god! Footsteps! I hear footsteps!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-16 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-16 Pub. Date: 2015-12-16
Image Number: 136532
Caption: Have you already had any coffee from that pot, Ms. Garcia? Why do you ask, Terry? Oh … no reason. No reason at all. If you've already had some, you may as well have more. It wouldn't make a difference at this point. Are you trying to scare me away from the coffee so you can have it all to yourself? It's been an honor working with you, ma'am.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-14 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-14 Pub. Date: 2015-04-14
Image Number: 125563
Caption: Did you see how slow Walter Scott ran when he ran from that cop, Big L? Looked like when you try an' run in a swimming pool. That how slow the brotha was movin'. If I'm ever scared enough of a cop to wanna run from him, I hope I remember that even SLOWLY running away gon' give him an excuse to say he "feared for his life." Cartwheels, dawg. They ain't never shot no brotha who cartwheeled away. Better Google that to be sure.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-11 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-11 Pub. Date: 2014-11-11
Image Number: 118787
Caption: Don’t you hear the drums, Tyrone? Bappada-boom. Boom. Bappada-boom. Boom. … It's like the sound of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, trotting steadily toward us. "Trotting"? Really, Rosencrantz, fear-mongering is all about word choice. "Scampering"? Still not scared. "Scooting"? (Published originally on March 27, 2012.)
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-30 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-30 Pub. Date: 2014-08-30
Image Number: 115533
Caption: What do you see when you look at the clouds, Lemont? I see a … wait … I see a pigeon picking a fight with a drone. This game was a lot more relaxing in the twentieth century, Susan. That drone is pretty feisty.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-06 scare 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-06 Pub. Date: 2014-05-06
Image Number: 111018
Caption: I'm scared of the implications, Rosencrantz. Implications of what? For the last seven days, every single coin that's been tossed to me has come up "heads." There's only one explanation for that, Rosencrantz. We … you and I … are dead. WHAT?! (Sigh) Ok, I'll prove it. Let's see ... how can I prove it? Oh, I know ... Toss me all of your coins.
     
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