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Candorville

Comics about rules.

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (62 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-14 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-14 Pub. Date: 2019-04-14
Image Number: 177112
Caption: I'm only 5,000 donors short. What? What're you talking about, Clyde? Did you know the Democratic party changed they debate rules, bruh? All a brother need is to be at 1% in the polls, have 65,000 unique donors, an' 200 unique donors per state from at least 20 states. An' did you know there ain't no law at all against changin' your legal name to Bernie Sanderz and settin' up a donate to Bernie Sanderz website? Also, ain't no law against sayin' Buy my new album on iTunes in answer to ever debate question. I've got a strange feeling of deja vu about this. Don't worry. I'm sure I won't actually win.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-05 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-05 Pub. Date: 2019-03-05
Image Number: 176625
Caption: 1982. What do you want to be when you grow up, Lemont. I want to be a journalist. I'll be like Woodward and Bernstein. I'll report on man's inhumanity toward a man and bring down presidents and have a movie made about me. I'm just not sure who would play me. I've narrowed it down to Sidney Poitier and Richard Pryor. I haven't completely ruled out Mr. T. How about Gary Coleman.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-03 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-03 Pub. Date: 2019-03-03
Image Number: 176359
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. and you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. You life being over is one condition. Not to self: Never, ever, ever say take me back.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-15 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-15 Pub. Date: 2019-02-15
Image Number: 176285
Caption: You can't judge a man who lived long ago by today's standards. Why not? What - What do you mean why not? … Because … Well, everyone knows that. It's an axiom. One doesn't question an axiom. Why not? Stop that.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-08 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-08 Pub. Date: 2019-02-08
Image Number: 176174
Caption: boss, I'm more than just a cashier and a mopper-upper guy. What? If only you'll give me more of a decision-making rule, you'll find that I've got a lot of good ideas. Such as? I, uh … didn't really expect you to ask me right now. I sense a cash register that needs mopping.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-24 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-24 Pub. Date: 2018-12-24
Image Number: 175584
Caption: Hey mister, is Santa Claus real? Sorry, kid … I'm not supposed to talk about it. It's a rule. I'm supposed to tell you you have to ask your parents. It's rule 547,983 in the handbook they give you when you become a grownup. But YOU would know better than them. I know an elf when I see one. Santa Claus is a lie.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-03 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-03 Pub. Date: 2018-11-03
Image Number: 174720
Caption: I read your stupid article about so-called voter-suppression. How is it discrimination if the rules apply to everyone? So what if Georgia's exact match system rejects your voter registration if any public servant ever typo'd your name in a state document? If it's good enough for John Smith, it's good enough for Mahershalahashbat Siddhartha. And not being allowed to vote without a street address doesn't just affect Native Americans on reservations ... it affects everyone who doesn't have a street address.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-15 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-15 Pub. Date: 2018-07-15
Image Number: 172919
Caption: Hey, Rudy. How's it going? I'm not allowed to say. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. What? I failed to read the fine print. The boss pointed out to me that the contract I signed back in 2001 forbids me from chatting with the customers about non-coffee-or-food-related issues. Sub-addendum H specifically said that every time I'm caught talking about how it's going I have to pay the boss $5. So ... in other words you just told me how it's going. Loophole! That'll be $5.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-07 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-07 Pub. Date: 2018-01-07
Image Number: 166341
Caption: I saw that article you wrote about net neutrality being killed. What a bunch of whiny, panicky snowflakery. You wrote "get ready to pay extra to stream your favorite shows and make internet calls." Yeah. Before net neutrality, AT&T throttled Skye and didn't stop until pressured by the FCC and consumers. You scared? You wrote "get ready to pay a fee to connect your smart home to the internet." That's right ... Without net neutrality, there are no rules to prevent your ISP from charging you whatever fees they want. Maybe you need a safe space where the big bad ISP can't get to your piggy bank. You know, you're kind of rude. Oh, you're going to get personal now? You've clearly lost the debate if you have to resort to personal attacks. What the -- you got personal. I was just ... (sigh) ... oh, forget it. Don't get upset. I just won the Gaslighting Association's Internet-Arguing World Championship. I'm just celebrating.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-30 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-30 Pub. Date: 2017-12-30
Image Number: 166538
Caption: Hi, momma. What? Oh, no thanks, I don't need a roommate. (Sigh) … No, I don't care how wise and kind his posts are on your Facebook newsfeed. You did what? You gave him my address and told him he could stay with me until Uzbekistan extradites him? (Sigh) ... No, that's not what extradite means. (Sigh) ... Momma, you're not supposed to meet your random Facebook friends in real life. It's a rule ... You did what?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-05 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-05 Pub. Date: 2017-12-05
Image Number: 165704
Caption: Am I paranoid, doc? I interviewed FCC Chairman Ajit Pai the other day … Dr. Noodle. I asked why he's so bent on killing net neutrality when it's the only thing stopping internet service providers from picking and choosing which websites we see. He said there's no evidence they do that. I said "Yeah, that's because net neutrality rules have forbidden them from doing that." All of a sudden our Skype conversation slowed to a crawl. First we should examine the possibility he was talking in slow motion just to mess with you.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-12 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-12 Pub. Date: 2017-02-12
Image Number: 153753
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. And you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. "Your life being over" IS one condition. Note to self: Never, ever, ever say "take me back."
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-21 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-21 Pub. Date: 2017-01-21
Image Number: 153409
Caption: So you went to Canada and spent time with the perfect woman. I got one question … What the !@#% are you doing here? Excuse me? Any man with some #@%$ sense woulda found an apartment, had his son Fedexed to him, an' stayed his behind in Canada. You can't just "stay" in another country. There are rules. Gimme her number, I'll move to Canada.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-22 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-22 Pub. Date: 2016-11-22
Image Number: 151295
Caption: 1982. Lemont, if neither of us is in love with anyone by the time we're 40, wanna marry each other? Only on one condition. You'd have to agree to give me space whenever I need it. It's important for a man to be able to be alone with his thoughts and his comic books. Also, you'd have to sign an agreement promising you'll watch Star Trek with me at least once a week, even if you're not in the mood. That makes two conditions. Also, you'll have to agree not to ever bring up math.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-13 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-13 Pub. Date: 2016-08-13
Image Number: 147070
Caption: Do you have any children? Yeah, a son. He's almost two. Almost three. I like children. There's an old saying: "If you are not a liberal at twenty, you have no heart and if you are not a conservative at thirty, you have no brain." But that saying ignores that it's the very little kids who actually have it right. Anything they can grasp is theirs, and your rules mean nothing to them. I don't want to have this conversation. If you're not libertarian at two, you have no guts.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-30 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-30 Pub. Date: 2015-11-30
Image Number: 135923
Caption: I'm tired of people comparing Donald Trump to the fascist dictators of World War II. I mean sure, he still won't rule out forcing Muslims to register in a database. And sure, he condones it when his supporters beat and kick protesters. But what happened over there back then could NEVER happen here. Why couldn't it happen here? Because they were them and we're us.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-26 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-26 Pub. Date: 2015-11-26
Image Number: 135625
Caption: I was going to break up with this girl I've been Facebook-chatting with. Bussaba Benjakalyani, from Bangkok. She's really nice. I didn't want to just unfriend her, so I went to her Facebook page to chat. Come to find out, she's already unfriended me. Could you believe that? That violates one of the cardinal rules of dating-someone-you've-never-met-over-Facebook. Well now you gotta get her to re-friend you, jus' so you can unfriend her.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-03 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-03 Pub. Date: 2015-10-03
Image Number: 133087
Caption: A federal court just ruled the song "Happy Birthday" is in the public domain. I guess that means we can all stop sending royalty payments to Warner Chappell Music every time we sing it in public. Wait … we can all what? You know how much I'd have saved if this ruling had come down 30-something years ago? Dios mio.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-13 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-13 Pub. Date: 2015-05-13
Image Number: 126618
Caption: The Baltimore police tried to say Freddie Gray severed his own spinal cord while he was handcuffed in the back of their van. It's like that time Victor White III supposedly shot himself in the chest in the backseat of a police car while his hands were cuffed behind his back. A whole lot of people believe this stuff. It's like they think black men are super-powered, suicidal contortionists. I still don't think you should go around in that. If you have superpowers, you have to wear a cape. It's a rule.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-27 rule 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-27 Pub. Date: 2014-12-27
Image Number: 120260
Caption: Thanta. What? Thanta Cloth. Son, I'm getting you speech therapy. But I don't want thpeeth thewapy, I want a pwaythtathion and a yewwow wemote contwowed caw. New rule, son: You can only have something if you can pronounce it correctly. "Cowectwy" is in the eaw of the behowder.
     
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