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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-05 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-05 Pub. Date: 2019-06-05
Image Number: 177954
Caption: Hello, Fox News? This is Lemont Brown with candorville.com. I'm writing an article about the doctored video you aired, and I'm wondering if I could get a copy of it … No, not the one about Planned Parenthood … No, not the one about ACORN … No, not the one about CNN. I want the one about the Congresswoman ... No, the one about the other Congresswoman ... No ...
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-16 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-16 Pub. Date: 2018-10-16
Image Number: 174492
Caption: Rudy Park, my college roommate, sent me an evite to the grand opening of his new café. The zoning board declined to comment. So I filed a Freedom of Information Act request. Turns out the building was rezoned in the dead of night to permit a café, just hours after a huge payment from sources unknown landed in the zoning commissioner's 3-year-old son's savings account. Should I write the expose before I give Rudy a cafe-warming gift ... or after? Remind me never to send you and evite. What's the etiquette?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-23 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-23 Pub. Date: 2016-11-23
Image Number: 151296
Caption: Dick, would you get Lemont Brown on the phone for me? Sorry, it's against my religion. I've converted to being Amish. We're not allowed to use phones, or computers, or copiers … or anything else you might ask me to do. Pretty sure the Amish do use phones, Dick. I'm not sure I'm supposed to be listening to backtalk from the womenfolk.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-03 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-03 Pub. Date: 2016-09-03
Image Number: 147924
Caption: I need a favor, Clyde. Anytime, bruh. We boys for life. I got you. What we gon' do? "Young Justice" is a cartoon about the Justice League's sidekicks, like Superboy and Aqualad. It's amazing. But it got canceled years ago. I need you to binge-watch it on Netflix, so they'll see how beloved it is and give it a third season. You're not saying anything. That's cause my momma always told me don't talk to strangers.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-05 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-05 Pub. Date: 2011-12-05
Image Number: 31623
Caption: I'm not sure why you need to talk with me about your promotion. You're my top man, Garcia. You've been handling promotions on your own for years. You handled Pepsi, and Dr. Sasquatch's Depilatory for Extremely Hairy Chicks. No ... Sir ... By "promotion," I mean I want to take on more responsibility for more money and a better title. Oh, I see! I'm not familiar with that usage of the term. (Published originally on 2009-04-13)
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-09 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-09 Pub. Date: 2011-06-09
Image Number: 61780
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I don't know about being Facebook friends, Lemont. If you think I look older and fatter than when you knew me in college, I'll just die. Don't be silly. We all age. The body's just a shell. It's your SOUL I remember, Sasha, and that never ages. I hadn't thought of it like that. ... OK, I just sent you a friend request. Um ... Are you going to accept it? As soon as I delete every photo of me I can find.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-31 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-31 Pub. Date: 2011-05-31
Image Number: 61585
Caption: So the judge says DNA testing my son is out of 'cause it violates Roxanne's religion. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the judge being Roxanne's mom. That's the bad news. I saved the good news for last. What's that? Mommy says you're getting railroaded! That does not mean what you think it means. I got us matching outfits.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-30 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-30 Pub. Date: 2011-05-30
Image Number: 61584
Caption: The judge denied our request for a DNA test, so there's no way to prove Lionel is your son. What? Why?! Roxanne claimed it violated her religion. She says she's a Teteoinnan … … and that their ancient Aztec scriptures dictate only the MOTHER GODDESS can examine our DNA under electron microscopes. People are always reading scripture however the #$%* they want to.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-04 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-04 Pub. Date: 2011-05-04
Image Number: 60509
Caption: Your honor, I'd like to call character witnesses that'll attest to Lemont Brown's fitness as a parent. Later, counsel, first the court wishes to hear opening statements from my daughter's -- I mean, from the RESPONDENT'S lawyer. That's good, 'cause I couldn't find anybody who liked you enough to actually show up. ... Oh, did I say that out loud? Yes.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-21 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-21 Pub. Date: 2011-02-21
Image Number: 57542
Caption: Will the attorney for the plaintiff please state your case? Your Excellency, my client, Mr. Brown, requests - nay, DEMANDS - joint custody of his son Lionel. We will demonstrate that he is financially and emotionally prepared to care for his child. He has no history of violence or abuse. And he has absolutely no convictions. Whisper whisper whisper. No CRIMINAL convictions. ... What did I say?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-09 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-09 Pub. Date: 2011-02-09
Image Number: 57040
Caption: Your honor, I'd like to renew my request that you allow me time to find a new lawyer. This is not the lawyer I hired. It's his six-year-old nephew Billy. My real lawyer is missing. At least let me find HIM. He left some weird message on my voicemail about being held in some dungeon. I couldn't hear the address, 'cuase reception was bad. Your honor, we would like to change our plea to "guilty by reason of insanity." This is a custody case, counselor.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-27 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-27 Pub. Date: 2010-12-27
Image Number: 55682
Caption: Your honor, I'd like to ask for a continuance. For what reason? There's a "Doctor Who" Marathon on SYFY, so now's my chance to find out if the doctor fixed the crack in the universe. It was swallowing up the whole space-time continuum. Also, I need a new lawyer, 'cause mine vanished without a trace. Mr. Brown ... you probably should've led with the bigger reason. What could be bigger than the universe's crack?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-23 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-23 Pub. Date: 2010-03-23
Image Number: 45423
Caption: Yes? Can I help you? Mr. Fitzhugh, may I have a word? You may. But I'm changing, so ask your question through the door please. Ok. Some guy's here to interview for MY job. Are you firing me? I'm sorry, but a raise is out of the question right now. ... Um ... are you really there or am I talking to a recording? Yes? Can I help you?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-04 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-04 Pub. Date: 2010-03-04
Image Number: 44613
Caption: Choking … get … 911 … Ok, mister! What … (choke) … you … doing?! Sending 911 a "friend request" on Facebook. Now I have to wait for them to "friend" me back, then I can chat with them. Mister?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-14 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-14 Pub. Date: 2010-01-14
Image Number: 42960
Caption: At the ad agency … I need you to do me a little favor, Dick. Tiny, teensy little favor. And feel free to say no if any way you find this to be unprofessional. Ok. Next time my friend Lemont calls, I need you to pretend you and I are having a mad, passionate love affair. Ok. What? And I need you to collate these memos.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-08 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-08 Pub. Date: 2010-01-08
Image Number: 42640
Caption: At the Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh Ad Agency … Sir, I'd like to talk to you. Is this about your year-end bonus? No. Looks like I have time to talk between 2 and 2:15 … It's about my MISSING year-end bonus. … On April 1, 2012. I believe that's a Sunday. Oh. Well. Let's reschedule for the following April.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-23 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-23 Pub. Date: 2009-08-23
Image Number: 37718
Caption: Um, Lemont, this is Momma. I'm a little confused by your outgoing message. Please call me back, baby. Outgoing message. Beep. Hi Momma! Golly gee, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown! I need your help. Please send over a care package with mustard, ten pounds of Cap'n Crunch, and a new crowbar. Also, a six-pack of ski masks from Costco and an Identity Theft for Dummies book from Amazon. Oh, and a Clay Aiken CD or Battlestar Voyager DVD or some other nerdy #$%& would be just swell! Now momma, dagnabbit, I got a rat problem. So it would be prudent to send it to Clyde. Golly gee willikers! Thanks, Momma. What?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-13 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-13 Pub. Date: 2008-12-13
Image Number: 28590
Caption: Say what? Barack Obama wants me to be his new pastor. But he thinks you're a raving right-wing Liberal hater. They said something about a "Team of Rivals." He wants to be surrounded with people who disagree with him and will actively work to sabotage him. What did they say when you confessed you're not Conservative at all? I have no idea what you're talking about, you Godless Liberal elitist.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-12 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-12 Pub. Date: 2008-06-12
Image Number: 24091
Caption: Clyde, will you be the best man at my wedding? Tsk. Of course I will, Big L. But don't feel bad. That don't mean you ain't in the top ten. What? What?
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-08 request 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-08 Pub. Date: 2008-06-08
Image Number: 23877
Caption: Thursday, May 15, 2008. The president is strongly condemning those who think it's ok to meet with the leaders of nations that are havens for terrorists. Friday, May 16, 2008. The president requested an increase in oil production when he met with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, the country where most of the 9/11 hijackers came from.
     
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