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Candorville

Comics about being relative and relatives.

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Result page:     (15 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-22 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-22 Pub. Date: 2019-07-22
Image Number: 178669
Caption: 1982. Mrs. Desilettes was looking for you today, Lemont. Where were you? I was out sick. I had one of those 24-hour flus. But I saw you at homeroom, at recess, in science, at lunch, in english, during the fire drill … You weren't gone for 24 hours. You were only gone during math class. Einstein said time is relative.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-18 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-18 Pub. Date: 2017-09-18
Image Number: 162848
Caption: But I can't get rid of it. Momma told me it belonged to my father, and to his father before him. I never knew either of them. Susan, the only family heirloom I have from them are my hat, my antique pocket watch and this. A microwave oven is not a "family heirloom," Lemont. Get rid of it. But Grandpa Brown warmed up his rations with it during the Korean War. It's time, Lemont.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-17 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-17 Pub. Date: 2017-07-17
Image Number: 160501
Caption: Would you like the good news or the bad. Bad. Ok. That "Vancouver" chick you're so in love with is cheating on you. Omigod … What's the good news? Since you don't have health insurance, the hospital says the albatrossectomy cost you $15,000. $15,000?! That's the good news?! Did I forget to say "relatively"? Dios mio.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-26 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-26 Pub. Date: 2017-03-26
Image Number: 155437
Caption: Yesterday, I visited my 97-year-old grandpa for the first time in six months. Dr. Noodle. He opened his door. I said "Grandpa! I missed you!" He looked me up and down and said "You gained a pound." It was all I could think about the whole time. As I drove him to his favorite restaurant, I was worried the seatbelt made me look bulgy ... When we ordered, I felt like he was judging my choices and so I only ordered crackers and water. When I hugged him goodbye, I sucked my gut in as hard as I could. Why don't we just focus on the fact he hugged you? When he hugged me, he said "You at that whole cracker."
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-06 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-06 Pub. Date: 2016-09-06
Image Number: 148215
Caption: This just in: Astronomers discover an earthlike planet orbiting the nearest star, Proxima Centauri. Click … Some are starting to question whether there's proof Donald Trump's grandfather immigrated from Germany. He could have come from anywhere. Click ... Proxima Centauri is just 4.24 light years away. In cosmic terms that's right next door. This end up.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-18 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-18 Pub. Date: 2015-11-18
Image Number: 135315
Caption: Whachoo gon' do for Thanksgiving, Big L? Visit momma. Lionel's almost three, and she hasn't seen him in months. She's going to be so surprised when I show up with my boy, a turkey dinner and flowers. She ain't know you comin'? What if she ain't there? Well, then me missing Thanksgiving would be HER fault ... and the only logical thing for Lionel and me to do would be to camp out at the theater and wait 'till "Star Wars" opens. I see what game you runnin' bruh. You ain't slick.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-21 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-21 Pub. Date: 2015-07-21
Image Number: 129957
Caption: Lionel asked me if he has a grandpa, and I didn't know what to tell him, Susan. How do I tell a two-year-old that I never knew my father, my mom refuses to even tell me his name … and that his other grandfather disappeared overseas after the FEDs raided his corporation? So I just put on "Sesame Street" and pretended to fall asleep.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-05 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-05 Pub. Date: 2015-04-05
Image Number: 124640
Caption: Sometimes I think you don't really like my mother. When I told you she's coming to stay with us for a month … you didn't say anything for five whole seconds. And then all you said was "ok." It would've been nice if you'd been enthusiastic and happy, and talked about all the fun things we'll do with her, and about how grateful you are she wants to spend time with us. I just don't relish the thought of having two people in our house who judge my every word. There you go with the five seconds again. You're such a jerk. Being single is underrated.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-13 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-13 Pub. Date: 2014-04-13
Image Number: 109349
Caption: That airplane's been on my mind ever since it went missing. I can't stop thinking about it … all those people and their families. Dr. Noodle. The possibility of losing someone so unexpectedly is just … it's just not right. But then I thought back to how I felt when my uncle died. He was sick for a long time. We all knew it was coming. We all visited him and said everything we wanted to say. We got to say goodbye. ... But the morning he passed ... it still hit us like a ton of bricks. It still was just ... not right. Death is the most unnatural natural thing there is. ... Next to brussels sprouts.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-30 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-30 Pub. Date: 2014-03-30
Image Number: 108533
Caption: NASA found 715 new planets, Clyde. That makes about 1,700. But they can only detect planets that orbit the stars at certain angles relative to Earth. Do you have any idea what that means? That you gon' be talkin' for another twenty, twenty-five minutes? It means that for every planet they've detected, there are 1,000 more they can't detect because of the angle of their orbits. That means there are at least 1,700,000 planets up there that are right in our cosmic back yard. Whatever, dawg. Let's go outside. I can't. All of a sudden I feel like a whole lot of people are watching me. I never shoulda stole you that telescope when we was six.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-25 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-25 Pub. Date: 2013-09-25
Image Number: 101944
Caption: Hi, momma. No, I didn’t know that about cousin Cletus. He calls his mom that many times a day? … No, I didn’t know that. Well maybe that's 'cause his mom doesn’t make him feel guilty by telling him all the great things his cousin does for his mom. … Wait ... What do you mean "there's no reason for Cletus to worry about that. Do Not Lean On Door.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-04 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-04 Pub. Date: 2009-06-04
Image Number: 34734
Caption: Knock knock. If that's your Aunt Esther, tell her we're all out of Kibbles 'n Bits. I'm not saying the current administration wants ALL Americans to die at the hands of terrorists. I'm just saying they shouldn't point fingers at those of us who DON'T want that to happen. Elizabeth! I'm comin' to join you, honey, with an annoying fear monger's wig in my hand.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-29 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-02 Pub. Date: 2006-01-29
Image Number: 12882
Caption: Thank you for calling your "Singular" voicemail. Good news! We've just upgraded your voicemail service. Previously, you were able to easily skip or delete messages from telemarketers or your annoying relatives, but we have concealed this convenience! What the ....? From now on, voicemail won't tell you how to do that, so unless you figure it out on your own, you'll need to listen to each entire message! We estimate this will increase the amount of time you waster listening to voicemail by at least 856%! What the #$$% would they do this?! More good news! Did we mention you are charged by the minute for calling your voicemail?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-05 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-05 Pub. Date: 2006-01-05
Image Number: 12663
Caption: 2002. In other news, republicans are allowing pharmacists in conservative states to refuse to provide birth-control pills or morning-after pills to women. 2020. And in other news, a relative increase in the voting-age population in conservative states will give republicans an edge in the upcoming elections.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-08-09 relative 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-08-09 Pub. Date: 2005-08-09
Image Number: 11202
Caption: Dang. Clyde has to spend 30 days in jail for obstructing traffic. It's horrible. I know…
     
Result page:     (15 images)