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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (38 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-28 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-28 Pub. Date: 2019-03-28
Image Number: 176942
Caption: Your article about the electoral college was riddled with inaccuracies. You mean my humor column? The electoral college not a for-profit, fake real estate training program started by James and Ivanka Madison to defraud people out of their life savings. It was a joke. And Hollywood actors and rich CEOs did not bribe people to get their spoiled kids into the electoral college. It was a joke. (Sigh) People always get extra-literal when their worldview is challenged. We're talking about my view of the electoral college, not of the world.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-16 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-16 Pub. Date: 2018-01-16
Image Number: 167356
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe. (Originally published on 2015-12-29).
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-30 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-30 Pub. Date: 2017-12-30
Image Number: 166538
Caption: Hi, momma. What? Oh, no thanks, I don't need a roommate. (Sigh) … No, I don't care how wise and kind his posts are on your Facebook newsfeed. You did what? You gave him my address and told him he could stay with me until Uzbekistan extradites him? (Sigh) ... No, that's not what extradite means. (Sigh) ... Momma, you're not supposed to meet your random Facebook friends in real life. It's a rule ... You did what?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-17 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-17 Pub. Date: 2017-12-17
Image Number: 165540
Caption: I have to tell you, I'm pretty freaked out by all the Terminator death robots Boston Dynamics has been developing. You too? Of course. Have you seen that Youtube video of their headless wolf-creature murder-bot? About 100 times. Have you seen the humanoid one with a soulless face and wheel-feet that's agile and quick enough to catch you no matter how fast you run? What ... are you scared? Snowflake. What the -- you're the one who brought it all up! Do you have a link proving I brought it up? A "link"? This is real life, not the internet. I heard it! That's my proof.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-24 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-24 Pub. Date: 2017-09-24
Image Number: 162394
Caption: I can't shake the feeling that nothing is really real, doc. Dr. Noodle. I just got my doctorate in history. And I watch the news every day. And I've started feeling like I've wasted my whole life studying things that never happened. I mean, if everything I see happening right now is "fake," how am I supposed to trust history? How am I supposed to know that Mussolini or Napoleon or Genghis Khan or Robespierre or Caligula were ever really all that bad? Maybe all the journalists and scribes who chronicled their reigns were part of an age-old fake-news conspiracy dating all the way back to the days of Peisistratos? I see. When exactly did these doubts begin? Oh, about 546 B.C.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-31 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-31 Pub. Date: 2017-03-31
Image Number: 156201
Caption: You know why I don't buy none of your books, bruh? It's 'cause you a snitch. Your books always be based on what real people do. You got Susan up in there. You got me up in there. You even got Big Oatmeal up in those books, puttin' us all on blast. What're you talking about, "C-Dog"? Yeah, I loosely base my stories on my life and on the people I know, but I change all the names and details for privacy's sake. Ain't nobody fooled by you callin' me C-Cat," snitch. C-Cat's a composite of several different people.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-29 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-29 Pub. Date: 2017-01-29
Image Number: 153149
Caption: It all started back in college when I bought a copy of "Mimic City." It was cheap: About 20 simoleons. Dr. Noodle. I played it night and day. When "Mimic City 2" came out, I rushed out to buy it. And every few years a newer, better one would come out. Every iteration was more advanced than the last. The little mimics who populated Mimic City came to seem more and more real. They had jobs, and love lives, and had mimic kids, and grew old. Eventually, I started to wonder: If my mimics behave as if they're real ... what if they actually believe they're real? Would that make me their God? And, if they think they're real ... what if I only THINK I'm real? What if I and everyone else in Simkind are actually living in some game called "Sim City"? Not to self: Stop self-medicating, and just to be sure, delete games from phone. Thank you, Almighty Noodle, for listening to my prayers. Amen.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-19 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-19 Pub. Date: 2017-01-19
Image Number: 153407
Caption: If a person's lucky, they'll have two, maybe three moments in life that defy explanation. Moments so magical they make you believe in destiny. It happened with Vancouver that night. She leaned back. She pulled me close … and in that ephemeral moment just before our lips united at last ... there was electricity. Literally. It was real. We felt it. We saw it. We knew in that moment it was because we were meant for one another. Actually, it was because you'd just walked over her carpet and had built up a static charge. Zip it, Neil Degrasse Tyson, this is MY story.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-25 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-25 Pub. Date: 2016-08-25
Image Number: 147665
Caption: C-Dog don't never dream 'cause dreamin' just make real life worse, Big L. Let's say I dream I can stand on a corner or walk across the street without some cop bothering me. Then when I wake up, no matter where I go, there some cop lookin' out his car window at me, just waiting for a reason to "put me in my place." If I don't dream things can be better, then I ain't never disappointed. I know what you mean. Last night I dreamt you weren't depressing.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-29 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-29 Pub. Date: 2015-12-29
Image Number: 137114
Caption: I've considered what you said, about how every story, change only occurs after an interlude. But those are stories, Rosencrantz, not real life. In real life, the biggest changes often occur randomly and unexpectedly. There usually is no calm before the storm. We often jarringly shift from one storm to the next. And unlike with fictional characters, the actions of real people often don't make sense. I still demand to know why you took my shoe.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-26 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-26 Pub. Date: 2015-10-26
Image Number: 134382
Caption: Hey Mister … what's the big deal about the new Star Wars trailer? Omigawd … I haven't seen so much emotion and tragedy and hope all at the same time since "Empire"! And it’s got acting! And it feels real! And it's got Leia and Han and Chewie, and everything that made Star Wars real to me even when I was seven! I've been waiting for this my whole life! My brother was right. Ask a really old guy about that trailer and he'll go nuts. You brother doesn't deserve real Star Wars.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-04 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-04 Pub. Date: 2015-10-04
Image Number: 132818
Caption: Clyde, have you seen my vintage 1980s Flash Gordon tank top? Your what? It was one of the last survivors of a more enlightened age … when real men weren't afraid to wear loose-fitting tank tops and bright, colorful booty shorts. I've been saying them all my life, for when that comes back in style. Ok, what gon' happen now is, you gonna back up about five feet ... an' I'm gonna forget this conversation ever happened. Give me back my booty shorts!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-27 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-27 Pub. Date: 2015-08-27
Image Number: 131716
Caption: Lemont … have I told you how much I appreciate having you as a friend? Thank you! I mean, some guys try to be all "alpha-male" all the time. Like this guy I'm seeing. Last night, the dude was flexing his massive biceps while he was hugging me. That was a real turnoff. I like that I've known you all my life, and I still have no idea if you have any muscles. Thank you.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-07 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-07 Pub. Date: 2015-08-07
Image Number: 130587
Caption: You really should call your mom every day, Lemont. She was a single mom who spent every free moment with you. You were her life. Dang. When you put it that way, you make me feel like a real jerk for calling twice a week. Well you should. She wiped your nose. She held you, bathed you, changed you, taught you, and loved you when no one else did. Is she paying you? I don't see what that has to do with my being right.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-25 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-25 Pub. Date: 2015-02-25
Image Number: 123398
Caption: Jesus was right, Susan: "No prophet is accepted in how own hometown." When I posted a link to my latest novel on Facebook, over 400 of my Facebook friends bought it. But I've never met any of those people. I only know 12 of my Facebook friends in real life. And not a single one of them bought my book. That's only 'cause we get to know what's on your mind for free. I'm billing you $8.95 for this conversation. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-23).
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-15 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-15 Pub. Date: 2014-12-15
Image Number: 120249
Caption: You got any Purell? Lemme ask you a question, Big L … Thug 4 Life. What do real men like Shaka Zulu, Hercules, Chuck Norris and Jesus have in common? Thug 4 Life. Giant beards? Giant beards? Ain't none of them ever used hand sanitizer. Thug 4 Life. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-04-16)
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-13 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-13 Pub. Date: 2014-12-13
Image Number: 119938
Caption: What's wrong? England found King Richard III's remains under a parking lot. Oh … what's wrong with that? I used to think the world was a lot more exciting, Susan. Whatever happened to sweaty archeologists being chased through catacombs by bad guys, uncovering ancient, booby-trapped tombs ... What happened to the booby traps? Real life's interesting enough, Lemont. A parking lot??
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-28 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-28 Pub. Date: 2014-08-28
Image Number: 115531
Caption: C-Dog don’t never dream 'cause dreamin' just make real life worse, Big L. Let's say I dream I can stand on a corner or walk across the street without some cop bothering me. Then I wake up, no matter where I go, there some cop lookin' out his car window at me, just waiting for a reason to "put me in my place." If I don't DREAM things can be better, then I ain't never disappointed. I know what you mean. Last night I dreamt you weren't depressing.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-11 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-11 Pub. Date: 2014-01-11
Image Number: 105924
Caption: I'm behind schedule on the life plan I wrote when I was six, Lemont. I was supposed to make partner by last Tuesday. Oh. Well, Susan, plans have to be flexible. Real life isn't something you can script. I know that. Don't you think I know that? Sorry. I scheduled two whole years of flexibility into twenties.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-14 real life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-14 Pub. Date: 2013-12-14
Image Number: 104852
Caption: This just in: there seems to be a concerted multi-state effort to make it harder for the poor to vote. Click. Thug 4 Life. This Side Up. … Strong possibility that scientists have discovered signs of living organisms thriving in the clouds of the planet Venus. Click. ... Incoming hurricane is headed straight for our house How to save your. Click. Last time, on "The Real Housewives of Atlanta ... " Mun mun mun -
     
Result page:    2  Next  (38 images)